Random randomness

Mr Bubbles · Post by **Mr Bubbles** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:01 pm

GreenGoo wrote:
Mr Bubbles wrote:
Kelric wrote:
Mr Bubbles wrote:Apparently I need a vacation. I was walking to lunch with two of my coworkers, explaining I would be attending a workshop in Thousand Islands.

Thousand Oaks

I feel like such a doofus. Thankfully they know me well enough to laugh it off and pretend I never said it.
Why would that matter much? Should I Google Thousand Islands?
If you like that type of dressing.
Or maybe you could go there for a workshop.

I wish my work would send me there.

xwraith · Post by **xwraith** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:11 pm

Camping on the islands is lots of fun, just beware the Raccoons.

Jag · Post by **Jag** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:30 pm

Took a houseboat on the 1000 Islands Seaway when I was young. The boat handled so poorly that customs used to wave us off so we wouldn't crash into their dock after we knocked one of them into the water.

Mr Bubbles · Post by **Mr Bubbles** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:34 pm

A dbt Family portrait

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:20 pm

A family portrait needs my kids and dogs in the picture.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Wed Mar 03, 2010 10:46 am

My life's story in a song.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 11:41 am

I despise password change time. I get the dual problem of doing system administrative work, so I have fix other people's password problems while concurrently typing the wrong passwords for myself.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 4:34 pm

M&Ms are evolving. I got a peanut one that was brown-coated overlayed with 75% of a red coating. Not enough, though, I ate him anyway.

SpaceLord · Post by **SpaceLord** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 4:37 pm

LordMortis wrote:I despise password change time. I get the dual problem of doing system administrative work, so I have fix other people's password problems while concurrently typing the wrong passwords for myself.

Changing passwords late in the week is bad, Fridays are terrible. Monday morning is the most common time to hear: "I am locked out!" I've done it to myself.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 4:38 pm

I try to make my changes on Mondays so I don't have to try and remember the new one after a weekend.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 5:12 pm

OK. Enough of asking me for money. I get it. You want to make the work place more pleasant for everyone and more like family. But Jesus Christ, I'm scrooge. I don't work so I can pay you guys off as if you were family. I don't want to give $20 every time anyone in the office has a special occasion. If I ever had a special occasion in my life I wouldn't want everyone in the office to give over $20 for gifting ideas for me.

I suppose I can be glad that they finally just dump their children's fund drive crap in the kitchen rather than asking me directly.

They really need to add some sort of lines in to your compensation deducting directly for intracompany charity, like you would with union dues so you can get a more accurate sense of what your paycheck is going to be.

So thank you, my compassionate coworkers. Not only am I an ass and not a team player if I don't pay extortion out to my coworkers every time they do something like getting knocked up before dumping their work load on everyone else for weeks on end and becoming ultimately being less reliable in the workplace. Really, I'm an ass when I give them my money anyway because I'm sure not doing it out of the charity of my heart. I'm doing knowing full well that it's under the duress of fitting in and not presenting myself as that guy which quite frankly I am any way.

I'm feeling a little grumpy today, thanx. How are you?

I think I need a vacation.

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 5:19 pm

My Id and Ego are arguing over whether or not your choice of outfit was intentional while my Super-Ego is realizing I'm too old and clearly delusional.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 8:07 pm

I just watched the movie 2012. I had to pee like a Russian racehorse afterwords. As I flushed the toilet I swear I saw these little itty bitty ships going down the drain.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:13 am

Why are clams happy?

itaiyo · Post by **itaiyo** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:19 am

LordMortis wrote:Why are clams happy?

How do you let someone know your hotcakes are selling well?

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:23 pm

A new project means a day of getting paid to watch progress bars as I install new programs and components. Let's go, Windows SDK!

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:40 pm

Have you ever seen vole runways? Me neither - until today. I am not amused.

Kelric · Post by **Kelric** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:42 pm

Why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Mr Bubbles · Post by **Mr Bubbles** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:51 pm

Why do fools fall in love?
why do birds sing so gay?
And lovers await the break of day
Why do they fall in love?

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:15 pm

A pedometer sounds like detector used to find out how much you like small boys and little girl beauty pageants.

Little Raven · Post by **Little Raven** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:17 pm

In case anyone is wondering, eating half a package of uncooked dried spaghetti will result in a truly epic tummy ache.

I don't recommend it.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:18 pm

Little Raven wrote:In case anyone is wondering, eating half a package of uncooked dried spaghetti will result in a truly epic tummy ache.

I don't recommend it.

I like uncooked spaghetti. I should actually see how many calories there are per strand. It can't be that bad, one noodle at a time.

Little Raven · Post by **Little Raven** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:21 pm

I can verify that in small quantities, it's fine. Even five or six noodles at a time produce no overtly bad effects.

30+, on the other hand....hurt.

Bakhtosh · Post by **Bakhtosh** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:21 pm

Drink lots of water...and eat slowly.

Jag · Post by **Jag** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:23 pm

Isgrimnur wrote:M&Ms are evolving. I got a peanut one that was brown-coated overlayed with 75% of a red coating. Not enough, though, I ate him anyway.

Survival Of The Fittest
Date: 2007-08-30, 2:03PM EDT

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

Bakhtosh · Post by **Bakhtosh** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:56 pm

I'm 35 and at this rate, I'll go from mostly brown hair to mostly grey by the time I'm 40.

It's too short and grows too fast to color.
It's too thick to let grow out.
It's too pretty to shave off.

Dammit

Jaymon · Post by **Jaymon** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:59 pm

I am stuck on duct tape
cause duct tape stuck on me

Bakhtosh · Post by **Bakhtosh** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:04 pm

I get two headlines e-mails from a local TV station every day - one is news headlines, the other is "Kitchen Sink" stuff...random headlines from around the nation.

The top Kitchen Sink headline today was

'Mommy milk cheese'
How's this for a gourmet treat? It's cheese made from human breast milk.

I loudly gagged in my office.

Yeah, that was embarassing.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:14 pm

This thread is over a year old. How the hell did that happen?

theohall · Post by **theohall** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:23 pm

LordMortis wrote:This thread is over a year old. How the hell did that happen?

Surprised you noticed with the speed your clock runs.

Little Raven · Post by **Little Raven** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:24 pm

Bakhtosh wrote:I loudly gagged in my office.

Um....why?

Cheese...any cheese...is pretty disgusting if you think about it. Which is why I don't. I suspect I could not think about this cheese just as well as any other....assuming it's tasty, anyway.

Jag · Post by **Jag** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:24 pm

LordMortis wrote:This thread is over a year old. How the hell did that happen?

Please don't derail the thread.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Wed Mar 10, 2010 6:46 pm

I lost my sense of humor today. Don't what happened. It was there before I took my nap. But now it's gone. I think it transferred into that little kid we're hand raising. I hate him.

Kelric · Post by **Kelric** » Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:13 am

When a girl states that she will be breaking up with her boyfriend over the summer, is it ethical and/or acceptable to start hitting on her a few moments later? My libido and I vote yes.

SpaceLord · Post by **SpaceLord** » Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:45 am

dbt1949 wrote:I lost my sense of humor today. Don't what happened. It was there before I took my nap. But now it's gone. I think it transferred into that little kid we're hand raising. I hate him.

Check behind the couch.

Kelric · Post by **Kelric** » Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:50 am

SpaceLord wrote:
dbt1949 wrote:I lost my sense of humor today. Don't what happened. It was there before I took my nap. But now it's gone. I think it transferred into that little kid we're hand raising. I hate him.
Check behind the couch.

Wrong type of kid. Checking behind the hay shed might be a better idea.

Remus West · Post by **Remus West** » Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:12 am

How can the same sibling be so amazingly caring of a family member and then so so amazingly stupid regarding the situation of our parents?!

Tscott · Post by **Tscott** » Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:44 am

Does anyone else have a certain time that they always seem to look over at the clock?

I used to always look over at 12:34 (AM or PM equally) and always think "hey, it's the first four numbers in order". However, the past few days it's been 12:31 when I look. I'm running three minutes fast.

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:17 am

Tscott wrote:Does anyone else have a certain time that they always seem to look over at the clock?

I used to always look over at 12:34 (AM or PM equally) and always think "hey, it's the first four numbers in order". However, the past few days it's been 12:31 when I look. I'm running three minutes fast.

Probably a result of the Chilean earthquake.

Debris · Post by **Debris** » Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:10 pm

I can't believe the stupid products that keep coming out. I saw a hands free soap dispenser on TV this morning. It's hands free because of the supposed build up of germs on hand operated soap pumps. Ummm... People, if you're worried about getting germs from a soap pump, you're doing it wrong!