How much milk can one cow produce?

lorax · Post by **lorax** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 2:18 am

...At the end of this post, you will have an answer. Let’s begin with a quote from Greg Costikyan:
“I’ve been researching old board games and I’ve spotted a pattern. A new genre: it’s called One Hit Game And Its Imitators. One fishing game appears in mid-19th century and dozens follow. Games grow through innovations. Creations of new game styles that spawn imitators and whole new markets. The story of the past few decades is not about graphics and processing power, but startling innovation and industry. That’s why we love games. BUT IT’S OVER NOW!”

How very true. As one-hit wonders apply to PC games, Id's Doom sired the current crop of first-person shooters. This harvest is now referred to as “FPS”. Why FPS? Why not “Doom-clones”? It only takes a single innovator to create one of these single herding cash-cows. All aboard! Thanks to Id, corporate suits the world over have decided to milk this one. But is this good for your gaming needs?

Do developers need to harvest more Warcraft clones? Moo.

And semiannual rehashes of Quake clones? Moo. moo.

Cows go “moo”. And how much milk does a single cow produce? The answer is 19,000 pounds. And so who will breed the next round of gaming cows after having been thoroughly milked by corporate suits? Moo.

CeeKay · Post by **CeeKay** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 3:02 am

Do these cows eat pickles or gherkins?

Scanner · Post by **Scanner** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 4:44 am

How many pounds of bullshit does a lorax produce?

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 10:24 am

You already know better, and you don't really care - you're just posting to see people jump through hoops. Your satisfaction comes not through sharing your ideas, or through making your ludicrous points, but through goading the masses into arguments. When everybody's done yelling at you, you start a new thread and repeat the process.

You aren't the wise teacher; you're the kid who makes funny noises in the back of the classroom to get attention.

Grifman · Post by **Grifman** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 2:07 pm

Scanner wrote:How many pounds of bullshit does a lorax produce?

At this point does anyone care? It appears not.

killbot737 · Post by **killbot737** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 2:17 pm

I think a game based on harvesting Truffula trees and turning them into Thneeds would be an absolute classic. Let's ask the Once-ler!

CeeKay · Post by **CeeKay** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 2:32 pm

killbot737 wrote:I think a game based on harvesting Truffula trees and turning them into Thneeds would be an absolute classic. Let's ask the Once-ler!

Do truffula trees produce pickles?

Chrisoc13 · Post by **Chrisoc13** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 3:25 pm

Hmm. maybe because doom has nothing on a lot of the current fps games? And the current dooms have very little on them as well? Smae could go for most genres.

CeeKay · Post by **CeeKay** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:15 pm

Maybe we should make a game with monkeys riding cows and throwing pickles at each other.....

RodeoRanch · Post by **RodeoRanch** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:29 pm

Are you sure it's a cow and not a bull?

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:49 pm

CeeKay wrote:Maybe we should make a game with monkeys riding cows and throwing pickles at each other.....

...or maybe clows.

lorax · Post by **lorax** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 am

CeeKay wrote:Do these cows eat pickles or gherkins?

Neither pickles nor gherkins are a suitable foodstuff for cows.

ChrisGrenard · Post by **ChrisGrenard** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:16 am

Jesus, I'm getting rather tired of being lorax's bitch-boy, hauling his pictures around for him and all. Sorry I'm late boss, here's your stuff.

docvego · Post by **docvego** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 10:18 am

Caboose: im not going to get married. my dad always said, "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."
Church: hey rookie, did you just call my girlfriend a cow?
Tucker: no dude i think he called her a slut.

CeeKay · Post by **CeeKay** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 11:55 pm

ChrisGrenard wrote:Jesus, I'm getting rather tired of being lorax's bitch-boy, hauling his pictures around for him and all. Sorry I'm late boss, here's your stuff.

Make sure to remember the pickles next time.