Overheard in New York - funny site

batguano · Post by **batguano** » Sun May 08, 2005 10:18 pm

Saw the link on Boing Boing: http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

Sometimes, the funniest thing you hear are the utterings of our fellow humans.

$iljanus · Post by **$iljanus** » Sun May 08, 2005 10:34 pm

Chick #1: He's so hot.
Chick #2: Eww.
Chick #1: What eww?
Chick #2: Um, he's wearing a shirt that says "Spin my dreidel, and by dreidel I mean cock, and by spin I mean suck".
Chick #1: That is a valid point.

--Asylum, Bleecker Street

Black guy: Good god. I had to actually work today.
Indian chick: By "work" you obviously mean taking credit for the many hours of hard labor endured by my fellow Indian IT brethren who report to you. You exploiting bastard.
Black guy: Ha, ha. Like slavery. But I'm Black.
Indian chick: Oh, the wicked irony.
Black guy: Word.

--Wall Street

malichai11 · Post by **malichai11** » Sun May 08, 2005 11:19 pm

Hilarious. I love this site. I'm going to buy their book.

Freezer-TPF- · Post by **Freezer-TPF-** » Mon May 09, 2005 12:26 am

Woman #1: It's really small, you know, but the sex is wonderful.
Woman #2: You mean he's rich?
Woman #1: Yeah. Exactly.

--Union Square

Very funny site, thanks.

Kelric · Post by **Kelric** » Mon May 09, 2005 12:53 am

Chick #1: I still haven't make him come! It's become, like, the major quest of my life.
Chick #2: So, basically, you're Captain Ahab and he's your Moby Dick?
Chick #1: Do you spend your spare time sitting around and thinking up these retorts?
Chick #2: I lead an empty life.

That's brilliant.

Edmond · Post by **Edmond** » Mon May 09, 2005 1:02 am

Girl #1: My friend Chandra thinks she's still a virgin because she's only had anal sex.
Girl #2: How do you know this girl?
Girl #1: She goes to my church.

--NY Public Library, 5th Ave & 42nd St.

Suit #1: ...and he's been playing on that game City of Heroes for two months straight now.
Suit #2: You reckon he's still alive?
Suit #1: Well, he's been typing nothing but "J" for a whole week on MSN.

--JFK

Mr. Fed · Post by **Mr. Fed** » Mon May 09, 2005 1:16 am

I suspect artistic license. Still, "puppies are bullshit!" is a great catchphrase.

Cesare · Post by **Cesare** » Mon May 09, 2005 1:54 am

Mr. Fed wrote:I suspect artistic license. Still, "puppies are bullshit!" is a great catchphrase.

yeah.. same thing with GroupHug. Still, once you learn to accept as a given that people make are making half of it up, you can go back to enjoying it again.

Blackadar · Post by **Blackadar** » Mon May 09, 2005 3:45 pm

Honest to God, true story...happened to me last year.

I flew to Long Island for an important business meeting and I'm waiting in the lobby at 9:50 on a Thursday morning. It's a big company and they have a payphone in the lobby. Out pads this ugly, mid-40s fat woman who lumbers over to the phone, throws in a quarter and starts talking. I'm not listening as I'm nervous about my meeting.

I'm daydreaming when I hear the phrase "nine inches". Huh? I look around and all I see is the fat woman on the payphone. She hangs up, looks around and throws in another quarter.

Now I'm curious...and this is what I heard:

"I live on Long Island, I'm 5 foot 2, 200 pounds, 42 years old with 44Ds and if you have 9 inches, I want to meet you this weekend. Call me at..."

HUH?

Then she hangs up, proceeds to make yet another call with the same message. She then hangs up, lumbers back behind the receptionist and (presumably) goes back to work. My only thoughts...she'd be lucky to get any man - even if he had two inches. And who the fuck does this at 9:50 on a Thursday morning at WORK?

Bandero · Post by **Bandero** » Mon May 09, 2005 3:51 pm

Blackadar wrote:Honest to God, true story...happened to me last year.

I flew to Long Island for an important business meeting and I'm waiting in the lobby at 9:50 on a Thursday morning. It's a big company and they have a payphone in the lobby. Out pads this ugly, mid-40s fat woman who lumbers over to the phone, throws in a quarter and starts talking. I'm not listening as I'm nervous about my meeting.

I'm daydreaming when I hear the phrase "nine inches". Huh? I look around and all I see is the fat woman on the payphone. She hangs up, looks around and throws in another quarter.

Now I'm curious...and this is what I heard:

"I live on Long Island, I'm 5 foot 2, 200 pounds, 42 years old with 44Ds and if you have 9 inches, I want to meet you this weekend. Call me at..."

HUH?

Then she hangs up, proceeds to make yet another call with the same message. She then hangs up, lumbers back behind the receptionist and (presumably) goes back to work. My only thoughts...she'd be lucky to get any man - even if he had two inches. And who the fuck does this at 9:50 on a Thursday morning at WORK?

Great story! Too bad she wasn't in your meeting also, then it would have been perfect!

McNutt · Post by **McNutt** » Mon May 09, 2005 3:51 pm

Guys with 9" schlongs have all the luck.

Austin · Post by **Austin** » Mon May 09, 2005 3:58 pm

Blackadar wrote:Honest to God, true story...happened to me last year.

I flew to Long Island for an important business meeting and I'm waiting in the lobby at 9:50 on a Thursday morning. It's a big company and they have a payphone in the lobby. Out pads this ugly, mid-40s fat woman who lumbers over to the phone, throws in a quarter and starts talking. I'm not listening as I'm nervous about my meeting.

I'm daydreaming when I hear the phrase "nine inches". Huh? I look around and all I see is the fat woman on the payphone. She hangs up, looks around and throws in another quarter.

Now I'm curious...and this is what I heard:

"I live on Long Island, I'm 5 foot 2, 200 pounds, 42 years old with 44Ds and if you have 9 inches, I want to meet you this weekend. Call me at..."

HUH?

Then she hangs up, proceeds to make yet another call with the same message. She then hangs up, lumbers back behind the receptionist and (presumably) goes back to work. My only thoughts...she'd be lucky to get any man - even if he had two inches. And who the fuck does this at 9:50 on a Thursday morning at WORK?

They probably have hidden cameras and they do these things for office entertainment.

YellowKing · Post by **YellowKing** » Mon May 09, 2005 4:17 pm

Back in college we used to do this kind of stuff all the time on elevators.

The best one we ever did was one time I had this brown bag with my lunch in it. My friend Rob is in the elevator with me, and this girl gets on. Suddenly Rob snatches the bag from my hand, hands me a $20 bill, and says in a thick Russian accent: "This concludes our last shipment of heroin."

To this day, anytime money is transacted between us, one of us will exclaim, "This concludes our last shipment of heroin." It's even funnier because broken down the sentence really doesn't make any sense.

Mr. Fed · Post by **Mr. Fed** » Mon May 09, 2005 4:25 pm

McNutt wrote:Guys with 9" schlongs have all the luck.

Is that indoor " measurement or outdoor " measurement?

Hell's Taco · Post by **Hell's Taco** » Mon May 09, 2005 4:31 pm

"Well I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was cold..."