The Art of the Donald Trumpocalypse

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 9:49 am

You're coming with us, you know. We'll start a commune. But the moment tgb goes Jim Jones, I'm switching to bottled drinks only.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 9:52 am

hepcat wrote:You're coming with us, you know. We'll start a commune. But the moment tgb goes Jim Jones, I'm switching to bottled drinks only.

If you guys need a cult leader, I'm available.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:37 am

Submit a resume to tgb. Include a list of all the gods you've worshipped, the number of times you've been successful at getting a tax exempt status with the IRS, and number of followers you've convinced that the mothership/day of reckoning/puddening is nigh.

Oh, and a shirtless photo for tgb's wife for comparison.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:39 am

hepcat wrote:Submit a resume to tgb. Include a list of all the gods you've worshipped, the number of times you've been successful at getting a tax exempt status with the IRS, and number of followers you've convinced that the mothership/day of reckoning/puddening is nigh.

Eris, Spatula
0
At one point in the late 80s I had convinced a fairly large group of people to secretly partake of a hotdog with bun on a Friday. And I do hear a few people use Jesus Pancake as a curse word.

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:52 am

Doubletap

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 11:16 am

Holy Trinity, Eris, Porcelain Goddess, Buddha, Friend Computer, Vor, the Shiny Hotness
Let's just say I have getting tax exempt status covered.

I work best in small cult groups. Once lorded over 6 minions at work, 8 running Paranoia RPG. Once I incorporated a group of Anarchists who were running a convention, but I would not do that again.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 11:21 am

Zarathud wrote:Holy Trinity, Eris, Porcelain Goddess, Buddha, Friend Computer, Vor, the Shiny Hotness
Let's just say I have getting tax exempt status covered.
I work best in small cult groups. Once lorded over 6 minions at work, 8 running Paranoia RPG. Once I incorporated a group of Anarchists who were running a convention, but I would not do that again.

A strong resume. How much experience do you have incorporating tax exempt entities in (say) Belize or Panama?

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 11:55 am

None. But I do have this rock that looks vaguely like Ted Danson.

oh wait, you were talking to zarathud.

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 12:25 pm

El Guapo wrote:A strong resume. How much experience do you have incorporating tax exempt entities in (say) Belize or Panama?

I can neither confirm nor deny those rumors. While neither nation has an income tax treaty with the US, the choice is whether to establish a non-US foundation or secure the benefits of favorable US tax law from a US charity which can offset any US income.

Jaymann · Post by **Jaymann** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 12:38 pm

Pfft, I am an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church - that "trumps" everybody!

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:20 pm

Lewandowski surrenders:

The arm grab that supposedly never happened just landed Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski under arrest.

Police in Jupiter, Fla., arrested Lewandowski on Tuesday morning after he turned himself in, and they charged him with misdemeanor battery in connection with an incident at a March 8 press conference. Michelle Fields, then a reporter for the conservative Breitbart News website, accused Lewandowski of grabbing and yanking her arm as she tried to ask the Republican presidential front-runner a question. A Washington Post reporter who was close to the altercation confirmed her account.

Police on Tuesday also released security camera footage that clearly shows Lewandowski grabbing Fields.

The Trump campaign continues to deny what is now plainly on video and written in a police report, with the candidate himself tweeting that there is "nothing there" and the campaign insisting in a statement that Lewandowski actually "was not arrested." A police report distributed to news outlets that listed his arrest time at 8:10 a.m.
...
A spokesman for the Jupiter Police Department clarified that Lewandowski was informed that he would be charged and voluntarily appeared at police headquarters to sign a form and acknowledge a May 4 court date.

“He came in by himself, without us picking him up, and signed his notice to appear," said Officer Joseph Beinlich, a department spokesman. Beinlich added that because Lewandowski faces a misdemeanor charge, no booking photo was taken.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:23 pm

More:

Then, on March 11, Breitbart published a story that challenged the assertions by Fields and Terris that Lewandowski was the offender. Based on an elaborate reconstruction of the media scrum that followed Tuesday's press conference, the report concluded that another member of Trump's entourage was probably the guilty party.

C-SPAN footage published online later in the day contradicted Breitbart's account.

Shortly after that video came out, Breitbart spokesman Kurt Bardella announced his resignation, saying he couldn't represent a client he didn't believe in.
...
A few days later, Fields and editor-at-large Ben Shapiro also resigned.

Post by **ImLawBoy** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:31 pm

The Trump campaign continues to deny what is now plainly on video and written in a police report, with the candidate himself tweeting that there is "nothing there" and the campaign insisting in a statement that Lewandowski actually "was not arrested." A police report distributed to news outlets that listed his arrest time at 8:10 a.m.

I believe we have now officially reached "Peak Trump".

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:44 pm

We don't hit peak until Trump personally administers a beat down. With his tiny hands.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:55 pm

[Robert Plant]been a long time since I Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf[/Robert Plant]

Jaymann · Post by **Jaymann** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:30 pm

The singer for Led Zeppelin?!?

hitbyambulance · Post by **hitbyambulance** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:16 pm

Trump was unable to officially memoryhole any evidence of this happening. fortunately, his supporters are willing to doublethink it for him.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:19 pm

I watched the video. It's one of those time lapse things, so it's hard to get a feel for the actual speed or intensity of the situation, but it didn't look that bad. It just looked like a rude asshole trying to get someone's attention.

malchior · Post by **malchior** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:41 pm

It doesn't matter how bad it is. They accused the reporter of lying that anything happened at all. And he is on camera assaulting a protestor shortly there after at another event again on video and lied about it as well. And Trump defends this behavior? I agree with anyone who says the man is dangerous. He flat out has no ethical compass at all.

D.A.Lewis · Post by **D.A.Lewis** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:45 pm

hepcat wrote:I watched the video. It's one of those time lapse things, so it's hard to get a feel for the actual speed or intensity of the situation, but it didn't look that bad. It just looked like a rude asshole trying to get someone's attention.

Admittedly it was hard so see what was going on but then I got it and It looked bad to me.

The reporter is standing next to Trump and the guy grabs her from behind and she is literally bent over and in back of Trump after the grab. yeah yeah, momentum, moving object, etc, But it would have taken a very forceful grab to change her position like that. And remember, on the initial audio release of the incident you can hear someone who witnessed the event say something like "Wow, I saw that, are you okay, that was uncalled for."

Sepiche · Post by **Sepiche** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:32 pm

It really wouldn't have been that big of deal if the Trump campaign hadn't decided to play the "she's batshit crazy and made it up" card when that was objectively not true. Grabbing her that roughly was definitely uncalled for, but it's the type of mistake people can make sometimes in the heat of a moment.

All they had to do was have the campaign manager call her and offer an apology, and this would likely have disappeared, but instead they decided to bluster and deny reality and now they have headlines about Trump's campaign manager being arrested for battery.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:34 pm

Sepiche wrote:It really wouldn't have been that big of deal if the Trump campaign hadn't decided to play the "she's batshit crazy and made it up" card when that was objectively not true. Grabbing her that roughly was definitely uncalled for, but it's the type of mistake people can make sometimes in the heat of a moment.

All they had to do was have the campaign manager call her and offer an apology, and this would likely have disappeared, but instead they decided to bluster and deny reality and now they have headlines about Trump's campaign manager being arrested for battery.

Yeah, this is the big story now with the campaign, which was entirely avoidable.

Although that's separate from whether the grab merits misdemeanor assault charges, which I'm not totally sure about.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:38 pm

It's a low bar for misdemeanor battery.

The crime of Simple Battery or Misdemeanor Battery is defined under Section 784.03, Florida Statutes. In Florida, the term battery means:

1) Any actual and intentional touching or striking of another person against that person’s will (non-consensual), or
2) The intentional causing of bodily harm to another person.
...
Intent is a required element of a simple battery charge. To constitute a crime, there must be “either a specific voluntary act or something that is substantially certain to result from the act.” C.B. v. State, 810 So.2d 1072 (Fla. 4th DCA 2002). A defendant must intend to strike the person, or engage in conduct where he or she knows that a touch or strike “is substantially certain to result from his acts.” Id.
...
To commit the crime of misdemeanor battery, an accused does not have to injure the alleged victim. The intentional touching against another person’s will is sufficient. In fact, where the allegation is that the touching was against the alleged victim’s will, the existence or extent of injury becomes irrelevant. See D.C. v. State, 436 So. 2d 203, 206 (Fla. 1st DCA 1983).

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:23 pm

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:23 pm

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:26 pm

Man, I just can't figure out how Hillary is going to beat Trump in the general.

Sepiche · Post by **Sepiche** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:28 pm

You know, apart from Trump's terrible handling of this, there's also the speed at which Breitbart was willing to throw one of their reporters under the bus to maintain access to the Trump campaign. That seems pretty shameful in and of itself.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:38 pm

Sepiche wrote:You know, apart from Trump's terrible handling of this, there's also the speed at which Breitbart was willing to throw one of their reporters under the bus to maintain access to the Trump campaign. That seems pretty shameful in and of itself.

It's cost them a few people, and I assume it will impede future recruiting.

Jaymann · Post by **Jaymann** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:40 pm

Isgrimnur wrote:

Of course you can, girly man.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:46 pm

D.A.Lewis · Post by **D.A.Lewis** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:36 pm

El Guapo wrote:
Sepiche wrote:It really wouldn't have been that big of deal if the Trump campaign hadn't decided to play the "she's batshit crazy and made it up" card when that was objectively not true. Grabbing her that roughly was definitely uncalled for, but it's the type of mistake people can make sometimes in the heat of a moment.

All they had to do was have the campaign manager call her and offer an apology, and this would likely have disappeared, but instead they decided to bluster and deny reality and now they have headlines about Trump's campaign manager being arrested for battery.
Yeah, this is the big story now with the campaign, which was entirely avoidable.

Although that's separate from whether the grab merits misdemeanor assault charges, which I'm not totally sure about.

The funny thing about this BIG STORY is that it totally takes away from his latest performance over the weekend regarding his lack of understanding on Foreign Policy. Who is talking about Trump wanting to put nukes in the hands of Japan or dismantling NATO? All we care about are the merits of a misdemeanor assault charge that was caught on tape . . . . with his campaign advisor. Not one single reporter on Today's press conference on his plane asked him about adding more nukes to the world arsenal. He is playing the press masterfully.

malchior · Post by **malchior** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:42 pm

That has to be the oddest take I have seen on this. He says dumb stuff all the time unchallenged by the media. The notion that he was going to be asked about his bizarre comments over the weekend is a dream scenario for many of us watching this circus in horror.

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 9:00 pm

No reporter wants the Trump campaign to go nuclear on their ass.

Plus, vindication by the authorities opens the door to a lawsuit against Breitbart. And the news loves to cover their own dirty laundry/gossip.

malchior · Post by **malchior** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 9:11 pm

Im watching the CNN town hall...Trump is blatantly lying to protect his man...with some ridiculous parsing of the reporters account which as far as I can tell was accurate. The man is a disaster. BTW he has the best cameras and her pen could have been a bomb. Wtf? He says the wackiest shit and gets away with it.

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:56 am

Trump: He Started It

Fitzy · Post by **Fitzy** » Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:21 am

Someone needs to get some five year olds and have them read things Trump said.

I susp cut it would sound normal.

Not fair!

Holman · Post by **Holman** » Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:28 am

Cooper sounds like Pooper cuz he's a doody head. Sad!

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:43 am

You forgot to mention Cooper's show is doing horribly. Will be cancelled soon.

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Wed Mar 30, 2016 8:01 am

Fitzy wrote:Someone needs to get some five year olds and have them read things Trump said.

I susp cut it would sound normal.

Not fair!

Teenage mean girls reading Trump tweets works just about as well.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:47 am

That's the problem with our country.