Random randomness

[hepcat]

Can you just write "shrinkage" and leave it at that?

[coopasonic]

What podunk mortgage company are you working with? That's possibly worse than your boss asking why you are requesting vacation time.

[Smoove_B]

I really don't understand why they want a letter. They've already indicated my financials are fine - I'm approved. Why do I need to write a letter to you detailing the reasons for my move? I feel like I need to make up a ridiculous reason just because they're asking. Like the voices in my head are telling me now is the time or something absurd. Or maybe that this house has too many bedrooms and by moving to a smaller house 15 miles away there's no longer a free bedroom that my MIL can use when she fees like gracing us with her presence 2x a year? Is that too real for you, mortgage lender?

[TheMix]

I'd probably go the other route. "Because I want to. -signed Nunya"

[Isgrimnur]

Why the hell does it matter, and what can they do if you tell them off?

[coopasonic]

Thinking about it a bit more, I can see wondering why anyone who has owned property in NJ would want to do it again...

[LordMortis]

Never heard of such thing

http://www.homebuyinginstitute.com/mort ... planation/

Why Lenders Ask for Them

So, why do mortgage lenders ask for letters of explanation regarding certain financial issues?

It usually has to do with credit and underwriting requirements that are imposed by secondary authorities, such as the Federal Housing Administration (for FHA loans), or Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae (for conventional home loans).

These government and government-sponsored organizations impose underwriting guidelines on lenders. For example, if a mortgage company wants to sell its loans to Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae, those loans will have to meet certain pre-established criteria.

The same is true for FHA loans, only in this case it’s the Federal Housing Administration that determines the eligibility criteria.

if a mortgage company wants to sell its loans to Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae, those loans will have to meet certain pre-established criteria.

if a mortgage company wants to sell its loans to Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae, those loans will have to meet certain pre-established criteria.

There we go. Essentially, this is a declaration that within six months you are going to go through hassle of providing your home owners insurance property taxes to another company for escrow. Lord knows no one warned me how often my loan was going to be sold to another company, nor how these arbitrary sales I didn't ask for always ended in me having to deal with their bureaucracy.

Have fun stormin' the castle

[Smoove_B]

Ok, so my letter will be:

"I'm moving because I've long dreamed of your company providing me with 30 years of stellar customer service via this mortgage. The idea that we're going to be on speaking terms monthly for the next 3 decades is filling me with such happiness I'd be foolish to not move - especially knowing you'll personally be handling my account until the middle of this century!"

[Daehawk]

That selling shit is shit. Ours was with Citi in 2009. Then it went into Onemain when they changed their names and such. Then Bayview got it and now I got a letter the other day that Bayview sold it but I still have to pay Bayview. Its bullshit.

[GreenGoo]

As part of my move, the mortgage company wants to know why I'm moving to a smaller house ~15 miles away - I have to write a letter and sign it. Might be time to make the Pirate Relocation letter a reality.

Less liability if it falls on a witch.

Done.

[Daehawk]

My nephew is being promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. He is only about 42. Seems like yesterday he joined the Army and trained to fly Blackhawks. Time flys again.

[Blackhawk]

Seems like yesterday he joined the Army and trained to fly Blackhawks.

Wheee!

[MHS]

Ok, so my letter will be:

"I'm moving because I've long dreamed of your company providing me with 30 years of stellar customer service via this mortgage. The idea that we're going to be on speaking terms monthly for the next 3 decades is filling me with such happiness I'd be foolish to not move - especially knowing you'll personally be handling my account until the middle of this century!"

Deserves a slow clap but I'm too lazy to find an emoji or gif. Approval conferred.

[hitbyambulance]

However, if any vegetarians miss real hamburgers, the Impossible has them covered. I don't think one can buy them for home consumption yet, though.

their FAQ says 'later this year'. i swear i saw them at the local co-op, tho. EDIT: i was thinking of the 'Beyond Meat' product, which is also good. https://www.beyondmeat.com/where-to-find/

[Daehawk]

Too much stress, pain, and sadness right now. Been the worst birthday of my life. I didn't even want it. Next up, Mother's Day. Then Wife's birthday. Then more and more stuff. So tired and hurting in so many ways. I think in 4 months since my wife died Ive accomplished one major thing. I think Im being tortured for some reason I dont know of by being forced to live and have so much be wrong.

Firehouse Subs did give me a coupon for a free sub because of my bday. Ive been going to all our old places to eat and remember my wife. But Firehouse was special to us. It is one of 3 or 4 places I just cannot see myself going. Haven't been able to. My wife would say go enjoy it and think of us. But me Im worried Id break down there in the shop. Just dont know. Wish she was here to tell me in person....go with me

Been a bad day. Have so many bad days. Im almost thinking the days are getting more stressful and worse.

[AWS260]

Hugs.

[stessier]

Ok, so my letter will be:

"I'm moving because I've long dreamed of your company providing me with 30 years of stellar customer service via this mortgage. The idea that we're going to be on speaking terms monthly for the next 3 decades is filling me with such happiness I'd be foolish to not move - especially knowing you'll personally be handling my account until the middle of this century!"

I missed this earlier. This is inspired. Please tell us how it turns out.

[Smoove_B]

The amount of documentation and paperwork I've already provided is astounding. I honestly don't know that ~20 year ago us could have gone through this and secured a mortgage. Going through the process is actually making me more nervous that no one can buy our existing house. Well...maybe they can write a better reason letter than I can.

[Daehawk]

Well I ended up at Firehouse Subs. Couldn't pass on that free sub. Was tough though. Me and my wife always got the same thing...2 medium meatball subs to eat there. 1 bowl of chili to take home. And a large cherry limeade to share. Got the same thing today except only 1 sub. Her not there sharing the drink was rough . I was stressed too much and only ate half. Had to bring it all home. Then coming home all I could think of was how I missed her being in the car beside me talking and laughing. I miss her so much. The days are still very very difficult.

[Cylus Maxii]

Daehawk,

My mother passed away a couple of weeks ago. My father has started writing her letters to talk about his grieving process and life. He has shared them and they are beautiful. He talks a lot about the same sort of things that you do - stuff that he misses or that constantly reminds him of her. They both retired about 15 yeas back; and they weren't apart more than 4 hours at a time in the last 15 years. They did everything together. She was infirm and he carried the both of them. He's almost 82..

I think the letter writing is helping him a lot. Have you thought about writing letters to your late wife?

[pr0ner]

The amount of documentation and paperwork I've already provided is astounding. I honestly don't know that ~20 year ago us could have gone through this and secured a mortgage. Going through the process is actually making me more nervous that no one can buy our existing house. Well...maybe they can write a better reason letter than I can.

The mortgage company I went with for the condo purchase I made last month asked for a lot, but I never really found it overwhelming. But I was never asked for any silly reason letters - just lots of documents proving I had the money and income I told them I had.

[Zarathud]

I put my foot down after the third letter and asked if they were breaching the loan commitment because the home purchase was moving forward to an early closing.

[Daehawk]

I think the letter writing is helping him a lot. Have you thought about writing letters to your late wife?

No. No one but me. No one to share with. Im totally alone without Donna.. I just pray a lot and talk to her a lot. And cry and fuss a lot about still being here. My favorite words seems to be 'stuck', 'unfair', and 'dont understand' when Im doing it all. Really no point in me being here. I dont enjoy anything, I am in pain all time mentally and physically, and I only want to be with her. Life is dead to me. I love our little dogs and have surgery scheduled for my kidney. Other than that the world is nothing to me...a blah meh thing. Still having to do so much and get nowhere. Im just half of what I was and I dont like it.

Not wanting to get back into all of it. Just been having extra tough days lately that seem to get worse or more often as the stresses pile up. The over riding thing is Im not happy and I will never be again. Its not in me . Im broken. Ill exist as long as I have to. I just keeping hoping I dont. I simply miss my soulmate and I just cant live life without her yet I am here.

[Anonymous Bosch]

I think the letter writing is helping him a lot. Have you thought about writing letters to your late wife?

No. No one but me. No one to share with. Im totally alone without Donna.. I just pray a lot and talk to her a lot. And cry and fuss a lot about still being here. My favorite words seems to be 'stuck', 'unfair', and 'dont understand' when Im doing it all. Really no point in me being here. I dont enjoy anything, I am in pain all time mentally and physically, and I only want to be with her. Life is dead to me. I love our little dogs and have surgery scheduled for my kidney. Other than that the world is nothing to me...a blah meh thing. Still having to do so much and get nowhere. Im just half of what I was and I dont like it.

Not wanting to get back into all of it. Just been having extra tough days lately that seem to get worse or more often as the stresses pile up. The over riding thing is Im not happy and I will never be again. Its not in me . Im broken. Ill exist as long as I have to. I just keeping hoping I dont. I simply miss my soulmate and I just cant live life without her yet I am here.

Just a thought, but perhaps you ought to reconsider the notion of seeking professional assistance to help cope with your bereavement. Your determination to handle it all alone does not appear to be doing you any favours at all.

[Zarathud]

Your grief and self-inflicted suffering isn't really random anymore, Daehawk. If you won't get help, at least get your own thread.

It's not necessary to be miserable to prove you loved Donna.

[LordMortis]

Man, some Fridays feel like a prison sentence. Just keep your head down and endure. Time will eventually pass and you will be free.

[Smoove_B]

Well I've traveled,
and I've seen the things I build, working
Workin' to bring me down

[LordMortis]

Just cause you don't understand what's going on don't mean it don't make no sense
And just cause you don't like it don't mean it ain't no good
And let me tell you something before you go taking a walk in my world you better take a look at the real world
Cause this ain't no Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
Can you say "feel like shit?"
Yea maybe sometimes I do feel like shit
I ain't happy about it but I'd rather feel like shit than be full of shit!
And if I offended you, Oh I'm sorry
But, maybe you needed to be offended
Here's my apology and one more thing...Fuck you!
Cause you can't bring me down

Suicidal

I'm sorry what? Maybe Infectious Groove's will get me through the day
Or a Pepsi

[Daehawk]

Your grief and self-inflicted suffering isn't really random anymore, Daehawk. If you won't get help, at least get your own thread.

It's not necessary to be miserable to prove you loved Donna.

I barely post on it as is..you'll live. What have I posted on it in months?..3 times? Not trying to answer your rudeness with my own but maybe you should stay out of random randomness if you...you know...dont want to see random postings. Or you could just skip my postings. They are random after all.

BTW my will is out of date and I was told I could write a letter and have it notarized and it would override the will. Is that true? Ive called around but the UPS store doesn't know even though they do that and the lawyer hasn't called back. I ask because I haven't been able to afford a new will and my surgery is next week. Ya late time to ask..but I have Monday to do it. Why is it $300 for a will if you can get a $16 notarized letter to override it?

[Zarathud]

You don't rarely post, Daehawk. You post the same thing -- you miss Donna -- over and over. I know you're hurting, and that's normal. But you're self-inflicting wounds, doing the same thing, trying to punish yourself for living. That's not healthy. I discuss death for a career, and this is a bad place for you. It's not random anymore.

Lawyers have knowledge, skills and training in the law. We rent ourselves out by the hour, and usually don't work for free. That's what you want. Your $300 will is discounted, but you don't see the value in it. That's fine, but it's why your lawyer isn't returning your call. Your $16 will isn't worth the paper it's printed on because a notary can only certify that it's your signature. And I told you this already.

But whatever, you know best, and rudely treat people who are trying to help you. And then you ask for more help. Seriously, WTF.

[Zarathud]

[Daehawk]

Wasn't really asking you about the notary stuff. Meant it as a general one to all but its ok. And I took your post as rude myself. Perhaps it wasn't meant to be.

Dont worry. Ill try harder to resist talking about it....or anything. Im just tired of this world. Nothing is right. Good day.

[Alefroth]

I think the letter writing is helping him a lot. Have you thought about writing letters to your late wife?

No. No one but me. No one to share with. Im totally alone without Donna.. I just pray a lot and talk to her a lot. And cry and fuss a lot about still being here. My favorite words seems to be 'stuck', 'unfair', and 'dont understand' when Im doing it all. Really no point in me being here. I dont enjoy anything, I am in pain all time mentally and physically, and I only want to be with her. Life is dead to me. I love our little dogs and have surgery scheduled for my kidney. Other than that the world is nothing to me...a blah meh thing. Still having to do so much and get nowhere. Im just half of what I was and I dont like it.

Maybe try something like this- Wind Telephone.

[Holman]

Daehawk, you sound like someone who thinks misery is a duty, like you believe finding happiness after Donna would somehow be a disservice to her. It's a very common grief pattern, but it only hurts you.

Do you think she would demand that you suffer for the rest of your life because she's gone? Is that who she was?

[stessier]

Also, you underestimate how much you post about it. If you search your post history, you'll see it's about once a day. Which is understandable given the situation. But you need help. Get help.


On a personal note, the one thing I've learned from this is that I would make a horrible grief counselor.

[dbt1949]

I went in and watched TV in a darkened room a little while ago. Had me some Fritos and bean dip. The bean dip was a few days olde and after having taken a couple of bites I noticed in was completely covered in mold.
I'm gonna be dead by morning.

[hepcat]

Someone that went to the same college as myself found me on Linked In and apparently recognized my name. But other than my name and the right school, I have no friggin' clue who she thinks I am from this email she just sent me:

Bill is this you? University of Akron, lived in front of me on Sherman with the George Michael look alike? smoked a lot of weed and played tennis?

WTF? I either had a stoned, tennis playing double who lived with Wham in the 80's, or she's just confused in general. What a weird way to say hi to someone.

[GreenGoo]

I went in and watched TV in a darkened room a little while ago. Had me some Fritos and bean dip. The bean dip was a few days olde and after having taken a couple of bites I noticed in was completely covered in mold.
I'm gonna be dead by morning.

It was completely covered in penicillin you mean. You are now immortal.

Also, who eats bean dip with Fritos?

Lastly, I want some Fritos and bean dip.

[Blackhawk]

Also, you underestimate how much you post about it. If you search your post history, you'll see it's about once a day.

Dawhawk, I think you post about it a lot more than you realize. You don't create posts specifically about it, but you drop it in everywhere else. People talking about a new movie, you drop in and mention that you were going to see it with Donna, but now never will. People talking about their favorite game, you drop in an mention that you're so unhappy about Donna that you won't play it. People discussing food. People discussing hobbies. You get the idea. Now, I am absolutely OK with you writing about Donna, but you really might be better served starting a thread just for that. Call it Daehawk Randomness. People will still read it, and you'll have a place where you would be free to vent and talk, and we would be happy to answer.

Daehawk, I've never been anything but honest with you, even if that means telling you things you don't want to hear. That includes this. People here are being very, very compassionate and patient, and are genuinely giving you the opportunity to vent and trying to help you. But if you keep stepping into every discussion and bringing your worst day into it, people are eventually going to start responding, and it isn't always going to be polite or pleasant. Get yourself a good place to vent, and we'll listen. But people talking about happy puppy stories don't want to hear about the pet store burning down. They want to talk about happy puppy stories.

[Isgrimnur]

I have to stop myself making a graphic of an OO Bill Murray getting slimed by Daehawk's grief.