How is your career going?

[Kasey Chang]

I am 50, and my supervisors and whatnot are in their 30's and 40's. But then, I'm not in a management or infrastructure architect position.

[coopasonic]

It was a video call though, and hard to disguise the mere fact I'm old AF. No matter how well I nail the interviews, this seems to always be a potential dealbreaker. I probably have 20 years on the guy who would be my boss. I can only hope that I was able to impress him with my particular track record in what he needs.

I have to go wayyyy up the chain to find someone older than me. I think it is our CIO who has 6 years on me. I do have the benefit of not quite looking my age, but my hair is well on its way to betraying me on that front and with the weight I have lost, lines started to appear around my mouth and eyes. Most people just assume I am higher up the food chain than I really am. How the heck am I only a manager after 19 years at the company and 27 years out of college. I mean it was hard work, but I did it!

[Paingod]

What's the hivemind's feelings on employee theft?

I'm in charge of someone who I've noticed is stealing. He's a talented employee and I like what he does for the company. His role is X, but he brings XYZ and offers more than I'm likely to get from anyone else. His primary role is data work (heavy in Excel) with minor dabbling in SQL and basic desktop support. He's also a talented programmer from his past life and has custom-built a few solutions we're using and continue to use. I'm not sure if he's ever really been properly compensated for that work; it was all before my time. The one thing he did do while I was here, I made sure he was at least paid time for the programming (if not a normal hourly rate for a programmer). He's probably saved the company hundreds, if not thousands, in lost time or 3rd party costs with his apps.

He hasn't stolen anything big. He's essentially bagging some nuts and putting the wrong PLU on them so he pays $7/lb less than he would otherwise. I've noted this for maybe 2 pounds of nuts over a couple weeks; we've lost about $14 so far. Each time, I've mentally noted the PLU he uses and commented on the product in some way to get him to verify the product he's eating. It never lines up. Everything else he buys is above board and paid for correctly (it's all prepackaged).

It could be a little rebellion at not getting the position I hold and/or not getting the raise he wanted before I came along. It could just be something he does everywhere; quick discounts on bagged products anywhere he shops. I don't know. I know mislabeling self-packaged products for instant discounts is very common in grocery stores.

I'm going to bring it up with him, but am not sure just how far I should be going with this. I don't want to terminate him, but don't know if theft is one of those things that's a bridge burned once crossed. WWOOD?

[coopasonic]

Generally speaking, see something, say something. We have an ethics line for that. I'm not really concerned about $14 or even $7 a day every day. What I am would be concerned about is if that is the only form of theft. On the one hand, yeah, stick it to the man. On the other hand, seriously?

So yeah, I think I'd have to report it to the ethics line and let them deal with it.

[Paingod]

Generally speaking, see something, say something... report it to the ethics line and let them deal with it.

In this instance, I am the ethics line. My next step is HR. I'd guarantee that as soon as she's involved, he's done. They'd pull the recordings of him bagging his nuts; you can't read the PLU he'd write, but you can tell which bin he's using. Verify it against his transactions at the register to find the theft. Simple as pie to prove. The union wouldn't be able to save him.

[Skinypupy]

Got no advice on the situation, but am always looking for an excuse to bust this one out.

[Isgrimnur]

If you want to keep him, have a meeting and let him know you know. His response will give you a good indication as to how to proceed. If he can turn himself around, then problem solved. If not, you can take it to HR.

Or you can take it to HR and wash your hands of it.

[Kraken]

Generally speaking, see something, say something... report it to the ethics line and let them deal with it.

In this instance, I am the ethics line. My next step is HR. I'd guarantee that as soon as she's involved, he's done. They'd pull the recordings of him bagging his nuts; you can't read the PLU he'd write, but you can tell which bin he's using. Verify it against his transactions at the register to find the theft. Simple as pie to prove. The union wouldn't be able to save him.

You like this guy's work and don't want to lose him over petty theft. How does he feel about you? Can you level with him? Because if you lay it out to him the same way you laid it out to us, and he's a rational person, he's going to think "Nuts to that!" and appreciate the heads-up.

[Jaymann]

Send him a video of somebody properly pricing their nuts, like it's an instruction video.

[Paingod]

You like this guy's work and don't want to lose him over petty theft. How does he feel about you? Can you level with him?

I think we get along well enough. He's never given me any reason to feel like he's not on the team and takes care of things promptly when I drop them on his desk. He mulls over ideas we hash out and proposes good solutions, sometimes even taking on outside learning projects off the clock because he likes the challenge. That's something I'm struggling to classify - I want him to work and get paid for it, but I can't justify paying him for things I never asked him to do. He's so far been fine with that because, as I said, he enjoys the challenges.

I did take the job he turned down, though. He turned it down because the guy before me was working 60+ hours a week and in the place at all hours doing a wide range of things. In the intervening time between managers, there was a big reset in expectations and my role is now 98% IT-oriented instead of 50% IT-oriented and 50% store-oriented. That means I spend 40-45 hours a week doing IT things, not 25-30 on IT and then another 25-30 on store stuff. We've talked about it, and he completely agrees that if he had taken the job they offered, he'd be working 60 hours a week and doing 50/50 like the guy before did - which would have made him miserable. He doesn't know it, but I'm also making around 25% more than my predecessor. Fewer hours, more focused, more money.

If you want to keep him, have a meeting and let him know you know. His response will give you a good indication as to how to proceed. If he can turn himself around, then problem solved. If not, you can take it to HR.

That's the most likely path. I'll be chatting with him this morning.

[Lassr]

If you want to keep him, have a meeting and let him know you know. His response will give you a good indication as to how to proceed. If he can turn himself around, then problem solved. If not, you can take it to HR.

That's the most likely path. I'll be chatting with him this morning.

agree. He'll have an excuse like "sorry, wasn't paying attention, must have wrote wrong number"...I'd play along and tell him to be more careful because this stuff is noticeable and you don't won't the wrong person to notice. Thankfully it was me this time.

[Paingod]

He'll have an excuse like "sorry, wasn't paying attention, must have wrote wrong number"...I'd play along and tell him to be more careful because this stuff is noticeable and you don't won't the wrong person to notice. Thankfully it was me this time.

This is exactly how it went down. I almost heard a Steve Urkel "Did I do that?" in his response. I didn't tell him that I watched him do it over and over for two weeks. I only mentioned seeing it once. As long as he gets that it's not something I'm happy to turn a blind eye to, I think it's resolved.

[Isgrimnur]

Good luck.

[Kasey Chang]

Just two more days and I have full benefits. Yeah.

One of the worse parts about my job is I can be dispatched to ANY of the various depot locations around the city to start driving. Generally my start is at a place that's only 10 minutes by bus, so getting there is easy-peasy, and I usually get there 15 minutes early so I can pick up some food at the Whole Foods next door for my meal-break instead of trying to order some **** through Grubhub at exorbitant prices. However, last week for 3 days I got the worst assignments ever: 2 out in the middle of nowhere area that has ONE bus that gets within 2 blocks, and none going downtown at 4AM (which was my shift, 7P to 4A) then for the third day, they scheduled me for the depot that's literally the furthest away and still be in San Francisco... on opposite end of the city.

So upon arrival, I found the vehicle was... immobile. I got to the local staff, who told me that someone brought the vehicle back with insufficient charge, and the depot does not have a charger. (These are all EVs) and being the furthest depot, they are not certain the vehicle can make it to an approved charging station... so they have to declare the vehicle non-op. And since I came on public transit, and they don't have another vehicle to give me, guess I no longer have any driving to do until they can figure out how to get me to another depot, which wouldn't happen for a couple hours.

So I am temporarily attached to support staff for the night, no driving done. As I'm paid either way, I have no problem with that.

Then today, which is start of my week, I found that I was assigned to the closest facility to my house, where I can WALK to in 15 minutes. Hah. Wonder where will they send me tomorrow...

UPDATE: after 2 days of closest place to my house, they suddenly assigned me to the opposite end of the city on day 3. WTF... Then I got off the wrong stop (for a moment I thought I was going to yet ANOTHER facility) and I bought an apple fritter for dinner, trying to NOT order $20+ Grubhub. Got to the right stop, which should get me close enough to walk to work with 1 minute to spare. When the bus did not come 5 minutes after scheduled time, I was forced to call Lyft to work. F*** me. Managed to do my driving and got back to depot at 4AM, and there's no bus, so I ordered Lyft to go home. Then 3 vehicles in a row canceled on me ("We're finding you another vehicle") all of them 15+ minutes away. One of them got as far as dropping someone else off and was 8 minutes away before canceling. Lyft basically wasted 15 minutes of my time. Then a local depot guy decided to take the local aux van to give me a ride. He needs to cool off as he thought he was getting a shift change that was promised to him a month or two ago, only to be told the day before it's to start (26th) that he's not getting that shift change after all. And there's virtually no work to do with two guys. Well, it's my BD (really) so I thanked him for the ride.

Then today, I just found that I got the closest depot AGAIN. Weird...

[Paingod]

Sometimes the expectation that I do everything the guy before me did gets annoying.

I was hired for IT. Just IT. My boss has been very happy with my progress in my role and what I'm bringing to the company. That's not a problem. She seems to get that efficiency takes dedication to a course of action and working towards it. The company needs more efficiency. We're about as big as we can be with blobby, inefficient processes weighing everything down.

My fellow managers, though, sometimes come around asking me to be the guy before me. He didn't succeed at his role as an IT Manager, but was a tremendous success in enabling bad behaviors around accountability and task ownership. He was happy to help. With everything. To the point where he was working 60+ hours a week and IT was only a part-time job in that mix. He became the very definition of a blobby, inefficient process. I've found evidence that he started numerous projects that had promising outcomes - he just never had time to complete any of them. Sometimes he only made it one or two steps in, and all it took was another hour or two to finish it.

I'm always happy to help, too. When I help you, though, I'm showing you how to do it yourself. If you ask me a second time, I'll be expecting you to take notes. If you ask a third time, we step through the How-To that I have now made for you to use. Every subsequent time is us stepping through the How-To while I retrain you to use it. No one ever really gets to step four. I am never going to do your job for you.

When the store manager pops in and seems annoyed that I don't understand the legal programs the store is involved in and how it impacts our products, I explain to her that the IT department is never going to override the decisions a department manager makes about their own items - so we're not going to spend time researching everything that crosses our desks. That includes learning product and program regulations. We have to trust that what the managers are giving us is accurate. That's kind of their job.

Realigning people back to being accountable often seems to chafe.

[Jeff V]

It was a video call though, and hard to disguise the mere fact I'm old AF. No matter how well I nail the interviews, this seems to always be a potential dealbreaker. I probably have 20 years on the guy who would be my boss. I can only hope that I was able to impress him with my particular track record in what he needs.

I have to go wayyyy up the chain to find someone older than me. I think it is our CIO who has 6 years on me. I do have the benefit of not quite looking my age, but my hair is well on its way to betraying me on that front and with the weight I have lost, lines started to appear around my mouth and eyes. Most people just assume I am higher up the food chain than I really am. How the heck am I only a manager after 19 years at the company and 27 years out of college. I mean it was hard work, but I did it!

Never heard back from the place, which is disappointing because it was one of those rare jobs where my particular experience could have been a huge asset for them. During the interview, he was basically lamenting the inability to ever solve problems I had a solved in a similar setting in the past. But like I said, I was a good 20 years older, and the dude might have been intimidated by that (come to think of it, I might have been more capable doing his job that he was).

July has been a quiet month. Only found a couple of jobs to apply to. One of them put me on their mailing list, and today I got an email asking if I was interested in applying for the job I had applied to. Got another random call from an Indian recruiter today...I couldn't understand him well, but it seemed it was for a tech monkey job out of state. I gave him a rate that would be way too much for a tech monkey, and since he couldn't even tell me what state the job was in (he was calling from Indiana), I expect I won't be hearing back from him.

I am now entering my final month of unemployment. When that expires, I'm not sure what happens next. Do I abandon my career and take some low-paying shitty job just to get a paycheck? Do I do what my wife would like me to do, cash out my 401(k) (which I can't do until December), pay off all our debt and we get by on her paycheck (and sufferance), leaving me effectively retired? Her chicken farm now sports 10,000 head of hen, and is apparently on the cusp of turning a profit. She has another business that she'd like to start up...buying property across from a university in Tacloban (I think) and developing student housing. She wants to offer both airconditioned and non-airconditioned units, as well as a bakery, restaurant and store on the ground level and a computer lab. That last thing might be something I could help with.

[Tao]

Is relocation an option? If so, have you explored USAJobs? I do not know your salary requirements but based on what I have read of your qualifications, you could potentially fill a supervisory job, which range from the low to mid six figures, depending on position and location. The majority of higher grade, higher salaried jobs tend to be in the D.C. and surrounding area but there are openings in other states as well. In the past year or so I have also been seeing more acceptance on remote positions so relocation may not even be necessary, also if an organization is having a hard time filling a position and really want a candidate paid relocation is possible but far less frequent these days. The other caveat would be certain life style changes. While USAJobs can have a lot of RNG, it's easy to search, easy to apply for as many jobs as you feel qualified for and free to do so. You can also set up alerts as positions open up. If you decide to check it out, I would start your search with the 2210 job series.

I have an friend whose wife is somewhat younger and was still firmly entrenched in the workforce and after he retired they primarily subsisted on her paycheck. At first it was really good, then it got really bad for a stretch, mostly over money, spending, playing computer games all day etc. Basically her vision of his retirement and his vision of retirement did not line up. Eventually he got board having 10 hours a day to kill anyway and got himself a part time job at Home Depot, which he enjoys and they both seem to be in a good place now.

Good luck.

[Jeff V]

I suppose I could check again, but much of the past year, the government had a hiring freeze. My previous experience with USAJobs was exceedingly unpleasant. Many applications took a full day to complete; sometimes with more than a dozen essay questions (4000 words or greater). It was pretty insane, and of the dozens of ordeals I put myself through, I had one response from SSA...and then before I could get too excited they retracted the previous notice and said the position had been put on hold.

Relocating isn't something I really want to do, the job and pay would have to be pretty amazing. There are lots of federal facilities in the Chicago area, and jobs that are a close match to my background can rather easily be WFH. I'll polish up my old profile tomorrow or Monday and see what's out there.

I'm not entirely sure that age discrimination would be any less with the government. About 15 years ago I attended a job fair where the FBI was recruiting, including for a position i was qualified for. But they would not consider anyone over 35, and I was around 45.

[The Meal]

12/17/2020 Do you remember what you were up to a week before Christmas? I sent a resume and cover letter to a local business inquiring about a Senior Vibration Engineer position.

HR emailed me yesterday to ask if I would like to interview for the position next Wednesday (a week from today) or next Friday.

Ummmmm... no.

Thank you for your recent application for Engineer Senior - Vibration
(####).

At this time, we have decided to move ahead with other candidates for this role.

Application date for (####): also 12/17/2020.

Quoted email sent to me: 7/30/2021.

Same company both times.

(I've been happily employed by a competitor to this company since last March.)

[Brian]

Due in no small part (I'm sure) to the goings on over at Activision/Blizzard, I am currently sitting through a one hour, mandatory, Ethics & Code of Conduct online training session.

I just got to the slide that asks the viewer to familiarize themselves with the companies Code of Ethics.

It reads as follows:

Insert your company Code of Ethics and Business Conduct

[Isgrimnur]

Disseminate your company Code of Ethics and Business Conduct

FTFY

[Jeff V]

I was biking today when I took a call from the HR department of a job I applied for. Hopefully, the passing traffic didn't kill things for me.While compensation wasn't given, I'll assume it's less than what I was making, and of course they asked. Location isn't terribly far, and if they are willing to bargain for some WFH days, we might be able to work things out, assuming I make it to the next round.

[hepcat]

Good luck, man!

[hitbyambulance]

i was contacted by a recruiter last month about founding and running a QA department for a local startup. the location was an instant draw - it's a nine minute bike-ride downhill from here. short story is i had four rounds of interviews, had three rounds of salary negotiations, was accepted and i just gave two weeks notice at my current job. it's going to be a _ton_ more work and the salary works out to be about the same, but i will be also growing several skill sets. where i'm at now is really a dead-end for me and i just can not do it anymore.

EDIT: the manager just said i need to work out a transition plan with the rest of the team. it is telling of my current role that ... i can't possibly imagine what i can 'transition'. there is nothing.

[Default]

Set a mental retirement date. I should be retiring after 32 years humping mail.I thought I could suck it up and go to 62, but the past couple of years has just given me too much of a beating.

[Madmarcus]

Since you mention not making it to 62 can I ask how old you will be?

[Kasey Chang]

Had a friend in the USPS who only made it a couple years and I think he found a doctor who declared him permanently disabled (bum knees) and got USPS to pay him disability. Wife is a do-gooder (helps seniors get their benefits) and somehow they can afford to take a trip every few months and drives used Lexus and such vehicles around despite seemingly having no income other than his disability check. Hmmm...

[Isgrimnur]

5% annual raise because of a great review.

Only 1/3 of the net will go to the AC repair.

[Carpet_pissr]

Set a mental retirement date. I should be retiring after 32 years humping mail.I thought I could suck it up and go to 62, but the past couple of years has just given me too much of a beating.

You work for USPS? Me too! (85+ days in). To wit, I will be leaving as soon as I possibly can. My exit plan is to be gone before peak/holiday season hits, and I am not sure exactly when that is, but from what I have heard, it's even more of a nightmare than the current hell I'm in as a newbie.

It's actually unfortunate, because I am so far (I know, too soon, too new, honeymoon, etc) liking the actual job. I enjoy having minor interaction with people on the routes (most of the time), I enjoy DOING something physical. Enjoy the walking and riding parts (actually prefer the walking). So the work itself is pretty much what I expected. But the way they treat us entry level grunts (CCA) should be illegal (and actually is, according to labor laws regarding 12 hour + days, among other things). Just run us into the ground because we are probably half the cost as (I assume) you regulars. 7 days a week of 12+ hour days in 95+ degree weather, on the worst/heaviest routes, and running packages all day on Sundays.

I like so many of the people I have worked with at various offices, but the hours, my god. I'm 48, and am not willing to put in that many hours, not to mention no Saturdays or Sundays off. For those reasons alone, it's the worst job I've ever had, and the 80% turnover rate doesn't surprise me at all.

I have lost about 20 lbs in a month though! Yay silver linings! I also now officially have "mailman legs" according to several ladies in the office.

After spending literally the week after I graduated college in 1995, until around 2017, working behind a desk (admittedly with lots of US and intl travel thrown in), I was ready for a change, and started to try a completely new kind of work...mainly physical. Did house remodels for one summer, Instacart for a year or so (before the pay went to hell), Amazon Whole Foods delivery, Census, and now this. It's been an interesting 3-4 years!

Disclaimer: making this kind of "career" move is not for 95% of the population, I am guessing, maybe even more. Primarily because in my particular case, it resulted in approximately a 75% reduction in salary (up until the current USPS gig, where I am making about half what I used to make, and working probably double the hours) .

But man do I have some stories!

[Carpet_pissr]

Had a friend in the USPS who only made it a couple years and I think he found a doctor who declared him permanently disabled (bum knees) and got USPS to pay him disability. Wife is a do-gooder (helps seniors get their benefits) and somehow they can afford to take a trip every few months and drives used Lexus and such vehicles around despite seemingly having no income other than his disability check. Hmmm...

Not sure how much federal disability pays (probably a LOT), but I know for a fact that the regular city carriers I work with are making $90K+ a year, mostly due to the crazy overtime, night work, and double overtime they have been working (mostly since COVID, for a number of reasons).

[Default]

Last year I made $152,000. I worked 105 days straight including Sundays. 14-hour days were normal. I never want to do that again. But being a CCA, yes they can work you the way they can, in part because we are still in the state of emergency. As long as the pandemic continues, the hours will pretty much be insane. I had to stay home on my non-scheduled day to go to my general practitioner to get a bridge prescription for Adderall. My boss was saying to me Saturday "it would be nice if you could come in Monday". I'm still working 6 days a week, although I no longer do Sundays. Mentally, I can't handle working 7 days a week anymore. My ex-wife is convinced that I have post traumatic stress from last year. The only thing that is going to make the job easier, is for people to start wearing masks and get f****** vaccinated. To answer your question, peak season generally starts at the end of October middle of November. All bets are off because I fully expect things to go right into the s****** again this fall.

[Default]

If I remember correctly, I only had three Sundays off the entire year. I took one week of vacation and spent most of it sleeping. I was going to go in and work that Saturday, but Linda my ex yelled at me enough that I gave up and went kayaking with her on Saturday. Oh yeah and I was sick for a week in December, so that counts as a vacation right? If you're working is a CCA, all I can say is just try and gut it out till things get a little bit better. I don't know when that's going to be. But I kind of look at it as being at war, and until this whole plague situation is over with, we will be at war.

[Default]

Since you mention not making it to 62 can I ask how old you will be?

I turned 59 in July.

[Carpet_pissr]

If I remember correctly, I only had three Sundays off the entire year. I took one week of vacation and spent most of it sleeping. I was going to go in and work that Saturday, but Linda my ex yelled at me enough that I gave up and went kayaking with her on Saturday. Oh yeah and I was sick for a week in December, so that counts as a vacation right? If you're working is a CCA, all I can say is just try and gut it out till things get a little bit better. I don't know when that's going to be. But I kind of look at it as being at war, and until this whole plague situation is over with, we will be at war.

Totally get the sleeping part. When I get a day off, I try to relax as much as possible, and STILL wake up just bone tired the following day (i.e. one day of rest is not nearly enough for my body to recover from the previous 7 days, especially with the current temps and humidity here).

I would very likely gut it out as you say (since I DO enjoy the work), but for the fact that it seems to take two years now to make regular (which based on what you are saying is now no picnic either). I'm 100% sure I am not willing to go that long, working these kinds of hours, and Sunday and holidays to boot (not to mention knowing one day in advance what my work schedule will be - that's almost as bad as the other negs). My family life would suffer too much, and I am pretty sure my back would be toast after doing this for two years (I injured it a couple years ago and it is now almost constantly aching/hurting).

Funny thing: I mentioned upthread I did construction and home remodeling last summer. Two days ago, I delivered a package to a house I framed up myself. Was quite the surreal moment in terms of "what the hell am I doing?!" The scene might have been comical to an outside observer: mailman (lite) with a package under his arm, walking briskly toward a house, then stopping mid step, as if hitting an invisible wall, with a far away look in his eyes. I guess I liken it to a mid-life/career crisis. Still not sure what I want to do when (if) I grow up.

Delivery boy
Personal grocery shopper
construction worker grunt
mailman
What exciting, random career choice awaits me next? Rodeo clown? Telemarketer? Chimney sweep? Door-to-door water filtration salesman? A whole world of zany adventure and possibility awaits!

Although I suspect after this latest gig, I will likely go back to something like I was doing in my former life - a life in an office, with sales quotas, too many bosses, zoom calls, neverending corporate training videos on malfeasance, illegal sales to Venezuela and Russia, and sexual conduct in the workplace, etc. OTOH I will have my weekends, holidays and nights. Miss those already.

[Madmarcus]

Sounds like a really rough job.

I still haven't decided what I'm going to do. In two months I have to either sign another contract or retire effective at the end of the school year. The market has been good to me and I could retire. But the one more year thoughts are hitting hard because I like being outside the US right now. Luckily teaching isn't as physically demanding at working for the USPS!

[stimpy]

Since you mention not making it to 62 can I ask how old you will be?

I turned 59 in July.

Do postal workers qualify for Social Security?

[Kraken]

A new project at MIT reached out to me through two intermediaries about becoming a fact-checker. I introduced myself and asked for a job description today. Fact-checking is a normal part of copy editing and I'm not sure I can separate those. Also, I need to know what facts need checking. MIT sometimes gets deeper into the weeds than I can navigate. Finally, I have to make sure that's it's strictly online -- my verbal communication skills are poor and my telephone skills aren't skills at all. If I have to interface with humans, I will fail.

I'd like to have one more regular gig during the slow months. IDK if I can handle one more commitment when my big spring and fall projects are in play. But the other eight months of the year? Sure, bring it on.

Being in a position where they have to convince me more than I have to convince them is what self-employment is all about.

[Default]

Since you mention not making it to 62 can I ask how old you will be?

I turned 59 in July.

Do postal workers qualify for Social Security?

Only two guys in my station are old enough to be civil service. They don't get ss. I am under Fers, and I do get SSI. It's not as much as civil service in total, which is why it was replaced by fers.
And two years is not a long time, before, it was 4-5 years or more depending on the installation.

[Jeff V]

MIT sometimes gets deeper into the weeds than I can navigate.

I'm sure it would nothing more difficult than making sure, for example, that the Higgs bosun can interact with strange matter upto 20 nanoseconds after the big bang.

[Jaymann]

MIT sometimes gets deeper into the weeds than I can navigate.

I'm sure it would nothing more difficult than making sure, for example, that the Higgs bosun can interact with strange matter upto 20 nanoseconds after the big bang.

That's child's play compared to solving why there is a hipster in those old time photographs.