Random randomness

[LordMortis]

I look at it as hair migration. As it creeps further and further back on my forehead, it grows on my back and down toward my flat tire... I attribute it to global warming.

[Holman]

I've lost some hair to a widow's peak, but it's still relatively full for 52.

The thing is, I've got no grey on my head. It's all as blond as when I was in high school. My beard, meanwhile, has gone full white.

The effect is that wearing a hat makes me look 20 years older.

[Isgrimnur]

Good thing we're masking, then.

[Daehawk]

I've lost some hair to a widow's peak, but it's still relatively full for 52.

The thing is, I've got no grey on my head. It's all as blond as when I was in high school. My beard, meanwhile, has gone full white.

The effect is that wearing a hat makes me look 20 years older.

Sounds like me. Blonde hair red beard. Now white mostly beard and still blonde hair. When I was little my mom told me Id never go grey. I had my grandad's color blonde hair and he never had his change color. So far so good. im 52 also.

[Isgrimnur]

Brazil

Heavily armed gangsters strapped hostages to their getaway cars after robbing two banks in Brazil, in a rampage that left three people dead, police and reports said Monday. Using explosives, drones and heavy weapons, the assailants took over downtown streets in the southeastern city of Aracatuba, home to some 200,000 people.

[Lassr]

Got this email yesterday.

"The longer I live and work, the more I am impressed by men and by the things the do in their free time. Let's speak of u Jeffrey. What leads u to jerking off? What's the sense of it and what the hell is wrong with you? U do not look like a freak who is unable to get a girlfriend, but however you do this sort of stuff. I'm sure the matter is your hand and you indeed like it so much. U would win first prize if there existed a championship in masturbation. U're a real superhero in the universe of wanking. No more philosophy, let's just cut to the chase. I can recommend u to cover the camera while practicing such sort of things, as it's hard to establish if one accessed to your device or not. I give u 42 hours to address my demands, or in eighty-four h I will be forced to send ur video to the contacts from ur email I downloaded. I assume ur closest people and mates are going to be amazed by what they'll see. As soon as u read the notice, the timer will start for addressing this issue. The present email address is going to be deleted, u will fail to contact me."

[Sudy]

Are you sure Moriarty wasn't trying to reach Riker?

[Daehawk]

hehe.

I get those sometimes.. They are really good at their job too I guess because I dont even have a webcam.

[Jaymann]

U will here frum my lawyers fro steeling my u-tube content!

[Unagi]

Got this email yesterday.

"The longer I live and work, the more I am impressed by men and by the things the do in their free time. Let's speak of u Jeffrey. What leads u to jerking off? What's the sense of it and what the hell is wrong with you? U do not look like a freak who is unable to get a girlfriend, but however you do this sort of stuff. I'm sure the matter is your hand and you indeed like it so much. U would win first prize if there existed a championship in masturbation. U're a real superhero in the universe of wanking. No more philosophy, let's just cut to the chase. I can recommend u to cover the camera while practicing such sort of things, as it's hard to establish if one accessed to your device or not. I give u 42 hours to address my demands, or in eighty-four h I will be forced to send ur video to the contacts from ur email I downloaded. I assume ur closest people and mates are going to be amazed by what they'll see. As soon as u read the notice, the timer will start for addressing this issue. The present email address is going to be deleted, u will fail to contact me."

Dude, I could so beat you if there existed a championship in masturbation... please.

[LordMortis]

Someone in my office reported that exact same email, only it went to Robert.

If I thought there was some sort of value added interest to championship masturbation, I'd happily turn on a camera and start charging people.

[Daehawk]

If any ladies get this email call me. Id be happy to chat.

[Skinypupy]

Posted in my neighborhood FB group just now.

Did anyone’s kid lose a retainer…and a tooth? If so, it’s on the table at the park.

With a picture of said tooth lodged into the retainer.

Not exactly what I expected to see today, I’ll admit.

[Madmarcus]

I have a list of the AP big ideas for my course in my room. Each is printed on a piece of colored paper. The teacher next door came in and commented that she liked my rainbow with clear implications that she thought it was an intentional call out to the LBGQT+ rainbow.

I'm not opposed to the idea but it wasn't a call out to anything other than wanting some color in my room.

[Kraken]

Tonight I made a perfect pizza. I thought I'd done that before, but every previous pizza pales in the glare of tonight's pizza. I don't think I will ever beat this one and have lost a reason to go on living. Baba Louie's in Great Barrington makes the only pizza in the world that I like better than mine because their sourdough crust is unmatched. I suppose I could devote my remaining years to surpassing Baba Louie.

[Unagi]

This made me smile:

[Blackhawk]

We just had to call the bank's support line about their mobile banking app. My wife opened an account recently, and we needed to use the app to deposit a check. When we try to log in, it asks us to confirm her identity with a voice message (they read you the number) or a text. Except that 'Text' is disabled. So I choose call. "Voice call to confirm your identity is unavailable right now. Please use the text option." Which is disabled. So she calls. She gives them her SS# and security word, gives them permission to talk to me, as I'm the one that does the banking, I know what the problem is, and I'm the family tech guy. Ok, good enough.

I explain the issue. I tell him that it's a 30 mile drive to the bank, and that we've been trying for days to solve this.

"I can't help you gain access to an account that isn't yours."

Um... ok, it's hers. She's standing right here.

"You don't understand. I cannot help you gain access to an account that you're not on."

Ok, can I give her the phone and you explain it to her?

"You don't seem to understand. I cannot help you gain access to the account if you're not supposed to have access to it."

What are you talking about? It is her account. She. Is. Right. Here. We have all of the security information. We gave it to you. We're supposed to have access, but your app isn't working.

"I can't help you."

So how do we use our account?

"You'll have to go to the bank in person."

The bank is 30 miles away, it's a holiday weekend, and we can't get there for another ten days. We've been trying to deposit this check and we can't.

"I can't help you gain access to an account that isn't yours."

I have never sworn at a support person before, but I told that asshole what I thought of him and hung up.

A while later I decided to check one more time to see if there was an option to deposit a check via the website. I go to log in...

And they've locked her account. Completely.

What the actual fuck?

[Unagi]

ugh that totally sucks.

It's possible they have young gents like you that scam old ladies into doing things like this - and they have a policy not do anything like this when their is someone 'helping' that account owner. Totally sucks though - as I would think they should be able to have a bank manager call your wife and speak with her later, etc. - and make the call to help you.

[Kraken]

ugh that totally sucks.

It's possible they have young gents like you that scam old ladies into doing things like this - and they have a policy not do anything like this when their is someone 'helping' that account owner. Totally sucks though - as I would think they should be able to have a bank manager call your wife and speak with her later, etc. - and make the call to help you.

My MIL got scammed in exactly that way by a kindly old gentleman who talked her into withdrawing or transferring money for...something she couldn't really explain, but she became quite agitated when asked to. I wish her bank had locked her out.

[Blackhawk]

So if we ever have a tech issue, we're supposed to... what? Call support and get locked out of the account, or sit on our asses and not use the bank?

[Anonymous Bosch]

We just had to call the bank's support line about their mobile banking app. My wife opened an account recently, and we needed to use the app to deposit a check. When we try to log in, it asks us to confirm her identity with a voice message (they read you the number) or a text. Except that 'Text' is disabled. So I choose call. "Voice call to confirm your identity is unavailable right now. Please use the text option." Which is disabled. So she calls. She gives them her SS# and security word, gives them permission to talk to me, as I'm the one that does the banking, I know what the problem is, and I'm the family tech guy. Ok, good enough.

I explain the issue. I tell him that it's a 30 mile drive to the bank, and that we've been trying for days to solve this.

"I can't help you gain access to an account that isn't yours."

Um... ok, it's hers. She's standing right here.

"You don't understand. I cannot help you gain access to an account that you're not on."

Ok, can I give her the phone and you explain it to her?

"You don't seem to understand. I cannot help you gain access to the account if you're not supposed to have access to it."

What are you talking about? It is her account. She. Is. Right. Here. We have all of the security information. We gave it to you. We're supposed to have access, but your app isn't working.

"I can't help you."

So how do we use our account?

"You'll have to go to the bank in person."

The bank is 30 miles away, it's a holiday weekend, and we can't get there for another ten days. We've been trying to deposit this check and we can't.

"I can't help you gain access to an account that isn't yours."

I have never sworn at a support person before, but I told that asshole what I thought of him and hung up.

A while later I decided to check one more time to see if there was an option to deposit a check via the website. I go to log in...

And they've locked her account. Completely.

What the actual fuck?

Evidently, for whatever reason, you obviously managed to succeed in convincing the spokeshole that you were cunning ID thieves that successfully compromised your wife's identity.

FWIW, you probably would've been better off checking the bank's web site for nearby ATMs. Chances are you'll find one closer than 30 miles away, and you can use the ATM to deposit the cheque.

[Unagi]

So if we ever have a tech issue, we're supposed to... what? Call support and get locked out of the account, or sit on our asses and not use the bank?

Go in, and show them in person that you have a real relationship. I understand the pain in the ass this is, but - I can also see how they need to protect people, etc.
(or just have her talk while on speaker phone, while you write things on a piece of paper for her to say.... Role Play that she is your hostage.)

[Blackhawk]

FWIW, you probably would've been better off checking the bank's web site for nearby ATMs. Chances are you'll find one closer than 30 miles away, and you can use the ATM to deposit the cheque.

Nope. The closest ATM to me is at the bank itself. The next closest is 42 miles, after that, 47.

So if we ever have a tech issue, we're supposed to... what? Call support and get locked out of the account, or sit on our asses and not use the bank?

Go in, and show them in person that you have a real relationship. I understand the pain in the ass this is, but - I can also see how they need to protect people, etc.
(or just have her talk while on speaker phone, while you write things on a piece of paper for her to say.... Role Play that she is your hostage.)

And then the next time I have any problem, make the 60-mile round trip again? Every time? Because I can't ever call support again.

And she wouldn't know what to say. I do 100% of the banking, handle 100% of the accounts, and experience 100% of the issues. She wouldn't be able to describe the problem effectively or answer their questions.

[Blackhawk]

Sorry, I have just had a couple of months of support problems and bad phone contact experiences. It's been non-stop. I've got to get some information to my son's representative at Social Security related to his disability. He made it clear that it was urgent, that I get him the information as soon as possible once I got it. The office is closed to in-person visits, and the only way to contact him is to leave a voice message and wait for a call back. Which I have done. Several times a week. For a month. There are no other options, and it is costing us hundreds of dollars in benefits - probably close to a thousand by now. And there's nothing I can do except leave more #)!$&! messages. And that's just the tip of the iceberg with people on the phone with the reins to important things in my life that just won't do their effing jobs. I'm sitting on hold with one support call or another every single day, and mostly just get brushed off. And now we ask for help from the bank, and they punish us by blocking our entire account.

I'm absolutely fed up with it. I'm sick of being disposable trash to these useless fucks.

[Anonymous Bosch]

So if we ever have a tech issue, we're supposed to... what? Call support and get locked out of the account, or sit on our asses and not use the bank?

Consider switching to a credit union instead, e.g. here's an Indiana credit union that provides ATMs and branch locations that may be closer than 30 miles away: Crane Credit Union - Hours & Locations

Credit unions tend to have lower fees and overhead costs than big banks, qualifying for loans is easier, and loan rates also tend to be lower. Perhaps more importantly given your current predicament, you typically can’t beat the customer service you'll receive from a credit union as compared to the excruciation of dealing with big bank 'customer service.'

Granted, switching to another financial institution is a bit of a nuisance. But voting with one's wallet is the surest method of conveying your justifiable resentment to said useless fucks for treating you like disposable trash.

[gilraen]

And she wouldn't know what to say. I do 100% of the banking, handle 100% of the accounts, and experience 100% of the issues. She wouldn't be able to describe the problem effectively or answer their questions.

Then teach her. She's not a child, she speaks English, and she can't go through life relying on you to call the bank any time there's a problem. Or don't have anything solely in her name, because no one is going to talk to you if it's her name on the account. Like, ever. I couldn't get Comcast to talk to my husband one time, and his name *was on the damn account* (but I was the primary). A bank? Forget it.

[Zarathud]

This is why you get a financial power of attorney for mom.

[Anonymous Bosch]

And she wouldn't know what to say. I do 100% of the banking, handle 100% of the accounts, and experience 100% of the issues. She wouldn't be able to describe the problem effectively or answer their questions.

Then teach her. She's not a child, she speaks English, and she can't go through life relying on you to call the bank any time there's a problem. Or don't have anything solely in her name, because no one is going to talk to you if it's her name on the account. Like, ever. I couldn't get Comcast to talk to my husband one time, and his name *was on the damn account* (but I was the primary). A bank? Forget it.

Or, failing that, at least step up your social engineering prowess. Gender is now fluid, so use that to your advantage. If a spokeshole has anything to say about you not sounding like [name_of_trouble&strife], just tell 'em you're transitioning.

[Blackhawk]

My name cannot be on the account. I can't have assets in my name.

[Zarathud]

Financial power keeps it in moms name, you just act for her.

[Kasey Chang]

Unfortunately, banks get a TON of fraud and social engineering calls trying to gain access to accounts. Low risk for the scammers, high risk for the bank.

You really need to go to a branch if you can. There's no way to go around it. Hopefully, they have Saturday hours.

If you're desperate you can Twitter-shame them into responding, but no idea if that would work, unless they are a BIG bank and have staff monitoring the stuff 24/7

[Blackhawk]

This is why you get a financial power of attorney for mom.

Mom? This is Michelle. She's younger than I am. I don't think taking power of attorney is going to fly.

[Blackhawk]

It sounds like the only option, any time we have any problem, is to wait up to a week and make a 60 mile round trip just to ask a question.

Either that or be punished by the bank for asking for help.

[Anonymous Bosch]

It sounds like the only option, any time we have any problem, is to wait up to a week and make a 60 mile round trip just to ask a question.

Either that or be punished by the bank for asking for help.

Is there a particular reason your wife is compelled to stick with this particular bank? If not, put some serious consideration into switching to a more conveniently-located credit union in your locale. If the credit union I linked to above isn't, try using the NCUA’s Credit Union Locator to see if you can find one that is.

[Kraken]

It sounds like the only option, any time we have any problem, is to wait up to a week and make a 60 mile round trip just to ask a question.

Either that or be punished by the bank for asking for help.

Is there a particular reason your wife is compelled to stick with this particular bank? If not, put some serious consideration into switching to a more conveniently-located credit union in your locale. If the credit union I linked to above isn't, try using the NCUA’s Credit Union Locator to see if you can find one that is.

Savings banks are another good alternative, if you can't access a CU. Think Bailey's Saving and Loan without Zuzu's petals.

[dbt1949]

I started up Netflix 2-3 weeks ago and I quitting it already. They still have a crappy movie selection. TV selection is alright but just not my thing.

[Blackhawk]

It sounds like the only option, any time we have any problem, is to wait up to a week and make a 60 mile round trip just to ask a question.

Either that or be punished by the bank for asking for help.

Is there a particular reason your wife is compelled to stick with this particular bank? If not, put some serious consideration into switching to a more conveniently-located credit union in your locale. If the credit union I linked to above isn't, try using the NCUA’s Credit Union Locator to see if you can find one that is.

The nearest credit union is further than the bank. When I say I live in the middle of nowhere, I mean it. We can't even do our grocery shopping in the county we live in.

When my son went on disability, due to the various rules that apply to him and I, it was necessary to open an account for my son with Michelle's name on it, plus one with just Michelle's (Michelle is also on my account.) That puts her on all three accounts and makes it easy to transfer money between the three, which happens on a monthly basis (she has no restrictions as to assets.)

Because my personal account there is 20 years old, and the number of things that are tied to it is enormous. I dread the process of figuring out every single bill, account, deposit, and payment method that's attached to it. I'd have to leave all three current accounts open and open up three more to switch the transfers over, then close two of them and leave the original open long enough to make sure I caught everything. And to even start that process I'd have to have a 'buffer' of cash on hand to open the second account. I want to switch banks. I've wanted to for years. We'd likely be switching to a large, well established bank (Fifth Third, despite me hating the name), which just happens to have a branch I can see from my recliner. The process, though, would be a messy nightmare.

tl;dr - we need three accounts with the same bank, and switching would be enough of a pain that I've been avoiding it for years.

[Zarathud]

This is why you get a financial power of attorney for mom.

Mom? This is Michelle. She's younger than I am. I don't think taking power of attorney is going to fly.

She’s over 18, and can authorize you as agent through the power of attorney. Age matters not.

Looking through your account statements will show what you need to change. It’s a pain but doable.

[Daehawk]

When my wife passed I had to close one bank account. She was primary and even though I was on the account it was blocked from me. I found that angered me so much. The other bank didn't care at all and since both names seemed to be equal they let me keep it as is. It still has her name and mine on it today.

[Jaymann]

It sounds like the only option, any time we have any problem, is to wait up to a week and make a 60 mile round trip just to ask a question.

Either that or be punished by the bank for asking for help.

Is there a particular reason your wife is compelled to stick with this particular bank? If not, put some serious consideration into switching to a more conveniently-located credit union in your locale. If the credit union I linked to above isn't, try using the NCUA’s Credit Union Locator to see if you can find one that is.

The nearest credit union is further than the bank. When I say I live in the middle of nowhere, I mean it. We can't even do our grocery shopping in the county we live in.

We'd likely be switching to a large, well established bank (Fifth Third, despite me hating the name), which just happens to have a branch I can see from my recliner.

If your life were a movie, I would call that a continuity error.