How is your career going?

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Re: How is your career going?

Post by pr0ner »

Default wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 10:57 am
stimpy wrote: Mon Aug 16, 2021 11:49 pm
Default wrote: Mon Aug 16, 2021 10:07 pm
Madmarcus wrote: Mon Aug 16, 2021 6:48 pm Since you mention not making it to 62 can I ask how old you will be?
I turned 59 in July.
Do postal workers qualify for Social Security?
Only two guys in my station are old enough to be civil service. They don't get ss. I am under Fers, and I do get SSI. It's not as much as civil service in total, which is why it was replaced by fers.
And two years is not a long time, before, it was 4-5 years or more depending on the installation.
TSP+pension+SSI should more than replace my salary when I retire. FERS isn't a bad retirement program by any means.
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Re: How is your career going?

Post by Tao »

SSI supplemental is a nice perk but FERS is a terrible system compared to CSR. 30 years of service under FERS is 30% of high three vs. the 60% it used to be under CSR. TSP is market dependent and I know two people in the million club but I also know folks that took a beating a few years ago. I'd much rather have had the CSR guaranteed pension. I know a women who is getting ready to retire after 42 years and is on the old system. She is a maxed GS 15 and will walk away with over 80% of her salary for life.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Oh, I know FERS isn't as good as CSRS. But it's a hell of a lot better than what a lot of our private sector brethren will get.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Tsp is for emergency only. With any luck, the annuity and SSI will be enough to get me to the end.
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Re: How is your career going?

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pr0ner wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 4:56 pm Oh, I know FERS isn't as good as CSRS. But it's a hell of a lot better than what a lot of our private sector brethren will get.
Yes, that is very true, some pension vs. no pension is better. I will hit both 30 years and MRA in about 6 months, but I am looing at a minimum of another 6 to 7 years <sigh>.
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Re: How is your career going?

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I didn't start in this job until I was 28. If it wasn't for a moving violation, I would have almost 37 years in and I would be on cruise control...
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Re: How is your career going?

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I've been doing to job I am doing for many years. And I am good at it. Like, I earn more than my manager good at it, and everybody is OK with that. But I am getting burned out. Currently I am a major incident manager. Monday, I am going to talk to another department, and try to get myself hired into the disaster and business continuity department. I don't know if they have head count, but they need me, and I want to go there, its something I've been passionate about for some time. I don't know how its going to go. Its weird, I am going to a job interview, that I am starting myself, for a department that may not actually have a job opening.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Jaymon wrote: Wed Aug 18, 2021 3:07 pm I've been doing to job I am doing for many years. And I am good at it. Like, I earn more than my manager good at it, and everybody is OK with that. But I am getting burned out. Currently I am a major incident manager. Monday, I am going to talk to another department, and try to get myself hired into the disaster and business continuity department. I don't know if they have head count, but they need me, and I want to go there, its something I've been passionate about for some time. I don't know how its going to go. Its weird, I am going to a job interview, that I am starting myself, for a department that may not actually have a job opening.
Maybe your current job needs another incident manager? I happen to know one who's pining for work...
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Re: How is your career going?

Post by hitbyambulance »

my last day at my current job is Tuesday and so far no one has proposed the 'going away lunch' for me, even though i've been there for over two and a half years. they had one a few weeks ago for the dev who had only been there for a year. also we had a 'final transition planning' meeting and somehow, the topic of my leaving came up only long enough for the dev lead to state that i probably would not be working on my last day. that was it.
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Re: How is your career going?

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My last company only had such events for people there 20 years or more. 2.5? I bet most people hardly got to know you! :D
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Re: How is your career going?

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Default wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 4:57 pm Tsp is for emergency only. With any luck, the annuity and SSI will be enough to get me to the end.
Yep, I'm under FERS also and plan on working to 66 to get the most out of SS. Wife got half my TSP in the divorce but she didn't touch my pension so I should have full pension (30%) and SS and hope the TSP is used for emergencies or big purchases only.

I probably would have been a TSP millionaire by the time I retired barring a stock market crash but not anymore. Now I just hope to get that 50% back in the next 10 years.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Why would you be saving Trisodium Phosphate?
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Re: How is your career going?

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Jaymann wrote: Thu Aug 19, 2021 11:41 pm Why would you be saving Trisodium Phosphate?

1. Collect Trisodium Phosphate
2. ???
3. Profit
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Re: How is your career going?

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Lassr wrote: Thu Aug 19, 2021 11:36 pm
Default wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 4:57 pm Tsp is for emergency only. With any luck, the annuity and SSI will be enough to get me to the end.
Yep, I'm under FERS also and plan on working to 66 to get the most out of SS. Wife got half my TSP in the divorce but she didn't touch my pension so I should have full pension (30%) and SS and hope the TSP is used for emergencies or big purchases only.

I probably would have been a TSP millionaire by the time I retired barring a stock market crash but not anymore. Now I just hope to get that 50% back in the next 10 years.
If historical rates of return keep going where they are and you're heavy into the C and S funds, I can't see how you wouldn't make up that 50% in a decade.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Jaymann wrote: Thu Aug 19, 2021 11:41 pm Why would you be saving Trisodium Phosphate?
He's only collecting it by the teaspoon.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Jaymann wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 12:43 pm
Jeff V wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 11:55 am
Kraken wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 1:10 am MIT sometimes gets deeper into the weeds than I can navigate.
I'm sure it would nothing more difficult than making sure, for example, that the Higgs bosun can interact with strange matter upto 20 nanoseconds after the big bang.
That's child's play compared to solving why there is a hipster in those old time photographs.
Well I bungled the phone interview because it involved talking on my phone, and I am terrible at that. When the guy didn't call at the appointed time I waited 45 minutes, then sent an email asking if he wants to do it at the same time tomorrow instead. Then I found out he called just 6 minutes late and left a voicemail, but my phone had randomly changed call notifications from vibrate to silent. (My phone routinely randomizes its settings and takes screenshots when I carry it around on my morning walks because IDK how to make it stop doing that.)

So maybe I'll still connect with this dude or maybe he thinks I'm too much of a space cadet. If we do talk, I'll come off as a gibbering idiot as I always do over the phone because I suck at reading social cues and never know when it's my turn to talk; I tend to blurt thoughts when they come to me because I'll forget them a minute later. I don't really want much more work than I already have and won't be heartbroken if this falls through, but I kind of owe it to the person who made the introduction to go through the motions. I'd like more work during Q3, but I already have a good work/life balance and as much money as I need the rest of the year.

I already made it clear that I don't want the job if it involves any telephone work, but I need to get through a verbal interview to decide if I'm interested or not.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Lassr wrote: Thu Aug 19, 2021 11:36 pm
Default wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 4:57 pm Tsp is for emergency only. With any luck, the annuity and SSI will be enough to get me to the end.
Yep, I'm under FERS also and plan on working to 66 to get the most out of SS. Wife got half my TSP in the divorce but she didn't touch my pension so I should have full pension (30%) and SS and hope the TSP is used for emergencies or big purchases only.

I probably would have been a TSP millionaire by the time I retired barring a stock market crash but not anymore. Now I just hope to get that 50% back in the next 10 years.
I maxed out my yearly contribution in the beginning of the year when the market was subterranean. I made 35K+ when it came back up. In the last few years I've been moving funds between the stock market and the G fund. You have to pull together data from different sources and know when the earnings reports come out. I've been generally successful by shoving everything into the G fund when I hear the phrase "historical highs" and plowing it back into the c fund when the news station is bemoaning the the bear market. I missed a big opportunity when the market tanked a couple years back by being too tired when I got home to move the funds and I lost 20K in a month. If I retire next year, I should have around $475K. If things don't suck, I may work an extra five months, just to get that last max contribution in.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Kraken wrote: Fri Aug 20, 2021 12:45 am
Jaymann wrote: Thu Aug 19, 2021 11:41 pm Why would you be saving Trisodium Phosphate?
He's only collecting it by the teaspoon.
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Re: How is your career going?

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May have violated NDA, got suspended from work. AFAIK anything I commented on was public info, reported by news or magazines, or something visible to the public (i.e. open to public street). But we shall see if they see it that way. I don't mind the time off. The work is turning a bit dreary. I do dread the job search should they decide to fire me over chicken**** like this.
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Re: How is your career going?

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I ghosted that fact-checking gig with the MIT startup after missing the dude's call. I really only wanted to pick up some jobs over the summer, not take on a regular commitment; I'm already as busy as I want to be the rest of the year. I should probably email him to "close the circle," as they apparently say, and maybe keep the option open in case I unexpectedly find myself needing new work.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Kasey Chang wrote: Thu Aug 26, 2021 11:11 pm May have violated NDA, got suspended from work. AFAIK anything I commented on was public info, reported by news or magazines, or something visible to the public (i.e. open to public street). But we shall see if they see it that way. I don't mind the time off. The work is turning a bit dreary. I do dread the job search should they decide to fire me over chicken**** like this.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Default wrote: Sun Aug 22, 2021 1:39 pm
Lassr wrote: Thu Aug 19, 2021 11:36 pm
Default wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 4:57 pm Tsp is for emergency only. With any luck, the annuity and SSI will be enough to get me to the end.
Yep, I'm under FERS also and plan on working to 66 to get the most out of SS. Wife got half my TSP in the divorce but she didn't touch my pension so I should have full pension (30%) and SS and hope the TSP is used for emergencies or big purchases only.

I probably would have been a TSP millionaire by the time I retired barring a stock market crash but not anymore. Now I just hope to get that 50% back in the next 10 years.
I maxed out my yearly contribution in the beginning of the year when the market was subterranean. I made 35K+ when it came back up. In the last few years I've been moving funds between the stock market and the G fund. You have to pull together data from different sources and know when the earnings reports come out. I've been generally successful by shoving everything into the G fund when I hear the phrase "historical highs" and plowing it back into the c fund when the news station is bemoaning the the bear market. I missed a big opportunity when the market tanked a couple years back by being too tired when I got home to move the funds and I lost 20K in a month. If I retire next year, I should have around $475K. If things don't suck, I may work an extra five months, just to get that last max contribution in.
I'm 41 and I've been working for the government for just over 19 years. I didn't contribute anything other than the automatic for the first 3 years or so of my employment, when I jumped my contribution to 7% (so 12% including the match). When Obama gave us the 2% SSI break for a couple of years, I jumped my contribution to 9% (so 14% total). I've only ever invested in C, S, and I to varying percentages (my current breakdown is 45%, 40%, 15%, respectively) once I actively started contributing. I've never tried to time the markets by moving money around to G, and I should be a TSP millionaire sometime this decade.
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Re: How is your career going?

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You are younger and have control of your money. I had to get divorced to learn to manage money, and I had to pull out all the stops to get to a point where I wasn't doing this job til I was 70. If I had, I would have been retired by now.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Kasey Chang wrote: Thu Aug 26, 2021 11:11 pm May have violated NDA, got suspended from work.
what...why.......how did you manage that?!?!
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Re: How is your career going?

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Discussed some information on reddit that I believe was already made public or very easily inferred. Apparently info security disagreed.

The problem here is I'm no Tom Clancy and this ain't the Feds. They basically said "did you post this", then asked me to turn in company property and told me they'll give me a decision by next week.

The only borderline stuff I can see they *may* nail me on was revealing a depot location... But this depot has an open entrance with our very distinctive vehicles visible from public street. How can that be covered under an NDA when it's open to public view... Hmmm...
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Re: How is your career going?

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Did you ever wonder why most of us never name our employer in our posts even when we are talking about work stuff? Well, I guess now you know why.
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Re: How is your career going?

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coopasonic wrote: Sat Aug 28, 2021 6:26 pm Did you ever wonder why most of us never name our employer in our posts even when we are talking about work stuff? Well, I guess now you know why.
Yeah, should have just kept to playing computer games alone. :-P
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Re: How is your career going?

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Well, one of the two partners in the company has decided to retire. The other partner is selling the company to a venture capitalist while he remains on as the CEO (in name, I imagine). I'm assuming this is so he can buy out the other partner. I don't begrudge them this. They've been absolutely wonderful to work for and I've never once felt taken advantage of, or mistreated in any way (can't say the same for the lead developer I've had to deal with for over two decades now...but everyone has that same issue).

They've got me involved in the "due diligence" portion of the ordeal. Which means they just sent me an IT doc basically asking me to justify what I do. I have filled out tons of these for various clients over the years, but to be doing it now for someone buying our company is a bit nerve wracking. I've been assured the remaining partner doesn't want to change anything. But it may not really be up to him.

Ah well, if worse comes to worse, I've got a healthy 401K and enough savings to move somewhere nice while I ease into retirement over the next few years. El Guapo has offered me a position as his pool boy on numerous occasions. So I've got that in my back pocket just in case.
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Re: How is your career going?

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hepcat wrote: Mon Aug 30, 2021 4:41 pm I've been assured the remaining partner doesn't want to change anything.
It's best to ignore such assurances. It's always in the company's best interests to tell you everything's fine right up until you're outsourced to India and your severance package depends on training your replacement.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Small company so I’m a little more apt to give the guy who’s never been anything but above board in all my dealings with him over twenty five years a little more credibility than if I worked as a nameless cog in a larger company.

Also, our clients are utilities. They normally do not work with any consulting company unless they can guarantee their data doesn’t leave the country.
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How is your career going?

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Sorry to hear that. Hopefully there is a strong incentive to keep a local IT person for continuity or the VC are interested in expanding. It’s usually worse for the corporate functions.
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Re: How is your career going?

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Had an interview with a global company today that is in the process of substantially scaling up their IT department after a "holy fuck" security breach. The job seems like it would be a really good fit; if I'm chosen to continue the process it seems I have 3 more interviews to look forward to, including an in-person interview the the CIO. If I get that far, it'll mean having to break down and actually buy a suit for the first time in 20 something years.

I'm starting to see a slight uptick of suitable jobs to apply for (I applied for another this morning). Unemployment turns into a pumpkin after this week, so the clock is really ticking on how long I can hold on to the hope of resuming my career as opposed to taking whatever is offered to old people, like greeter at Walmart or some shit.
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Re: How is your career going?

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hepcat wrote: Mon Aug 30, 2021 4:41 pm Which means they just sent me an IT doc basically asking me to justify what I do.
You didn't turn red in the face screaming "I'm a people person!," did you?
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Re: How is your career going?

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Paingod wrote: Mon Aug 30, 2021 5:31 pm
hepcat wrote: Mon Aug 30, 2021 4:41 pm I've been assured the remaining partner doesn't want to change anything.
It's best to ignore such assurances. It's always in the company's best interests to tell you everything's fine right up until you're outsourced to India and your severance package depends on training your replacement.
This.

I was in a very similar situation in 2014. Worked in sales for a tiny company (25 ppl employed at our peak) for 15 years since they were a startup. Basically helped build the company. Owned by two brothers (one of whom I worked directly for), who were EXTREMELY generous. I never paid for the 'cadillac' health insurance that I enjoyed for those 14 years (and I have a 5 member family). Was paid probably 40% higher than average for my position and responsibilities compared to other companies. Matching 401K, bought us new iPads every few years just for the hell of it, big ass monitors for us to use at home if we wanted, etc etc. Makes me sad writing that, since I SO very much took all that for granted.

Anyway, the brother I didn't work for directly seemingly had a mid-life crisis as I understand it, and wanted to sell. My boss, the other brother, didn't. Apparently the two buying candidates were a VC company, and one of our largest clients (a publicly traded company with 10K+ employees).

Ended up selling to the client company, and thankfully my boss had worked for a Fortune 50 company in M&A so he had a contract with the buyer that had very specific terms for us existing employees:
1. Could not move the office location more than a 30m ride from any employee (for 2 years I believe).
2. Could not adjust down any employee's salary for any reason.
3. Could not terminate or layoff any employee (except for extreme measures of cause) for x years (2 IIRC)
4. This was the crazy one: he stipulated that we continue not having to pay anything for health insurance. After the sale, HR at the new company balked hard at this one, (and we employees had to fight for it, show them the terms, etc) but it actually happened (they just increased our pay by the healthcare cost, I think it was around $15K).

2+ years after the sale, I think 3 or 4 original people remained. About half quit bc the working conditions were SO different from the very laid back work environment we all had been in for so long. The intensity after the buyout ramped up (and even moreso in sales) by 300%.

From what a lot of people told me, it probably would have been worse if the VC had bought us instead. Apparently they tend to pretty up a company they buy on the balance sheets, then re-sell the company. Much like a house flipper. That mentality and resulting work environment generally does not go over well with existing employees.
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Re: How is your career going?

Post by hepcat »

Ah well, I'm seven years out from my preferred retirement age. Five for the worst case scenario. I'm sure I can make do on savings and a job that pays much less for the remainder of that time should the need arise. As I said, my 401k is healthy, my savings can last me a year or two, and I don't have a family to support.

My dad retired at 58 from a hot mix (asphalt) plant. It was also a forced retirement as the company just shut down. Of course, he was union and started immediately getting a nice little pension. That combined with the fact that he can live happily on like 4 dollars a year (seriously, the guy has this amazing capacity for just enjoying the hell out of the simple things in life...I envy him a great deal in that regard) means he's been very content in his retirement now for almost 30 years.

I'll just hang out here and see what happens. Finding a new job when you're over 50 is rough, from everything I've read/heard. And I doubt I'll ever be offered what I'm making now after 25 years with the same company. I'd be lucky to get even half, I imagine.

But hey, it's been a good run. I have an English degree and never thought I'd have a nice retirement nest egg based on that alone. Plus, I can always pull my thong out of the closet and return to Amish Thunder, my all male Amish stripper group.
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Re: How is your career going?

Post by malchior »

hepcat wrote: Wed Sep 01, 2021 11:23 amI'll just hang out here and see what happens. Finding a new job when you're over 50 is rough, from everything I've read/heard. And I doubt I'll ever be offered what I'm making now after 25 years with the same company. I'd be lucky to get even half, I imagine.
I've heard the same but you might have an advantage. Unless your current employer is very generous most people in your situation find themselves below market value which might help.
But hey, it's been a good run. I have an English degree and never thought I'd have a nice retirement nest egg based on that alone. Plus, I can always pull my thong out of the closet and return to Amish Thunder, my all male Amish stripper group.
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Re: How is your career going?

Post by Carpet_pissr »

Well, here goes the post I have been considering for a couple of years now, though I will not use it as a rambling self-reflective, curative post as I imagined. I will make it as brief as possible, and thanks to The Meal's earlier, excellent post about his last few years' experience re: career, I can just say "go read his post" and a LOT of what has been going on with me is included in that post, including the familial ramifications.

TL;DR version: I was a white collar sales exec making serious bank for a long time. Then I crashed HARD emotionally, physically and spiritually - totally burned out, but also coincided with some personal issues (there's a whole 'nother thread about that mess, from years ago) that pretty much broke "that" me. Got depressed (REALLY depressed) and didn't work for about a year or maybe even two. When I did, it was menial, non-challenging stuff like delivery, construcion, and now USPS. So I went from the cushiest job you can imagine, making way more money that I probably should have been, for my effort, to the grindiest, dirtiest, low paying jobs out there. Today, a new chapter begins.

Maybe a timeline will be most efficient:

1995?
Hired out of college to work as a bilingual marketing assistant to a Sr. VP at a smallish local company.

1999
Started working for a SaaS startup as the first dedicated salesperson for international markets. Traveled the world. Worked in about 27 countries at my peak. Highly unusual in that I had absolute freedom to do anything I wanted in terms of the job. Pretty much unlimited budget. I could hire people. Go wherever, stay in Tahiti for a week if I wanted ("and take the fam too, we'll pay for their tickets!") I paid zero healthcare premiums for a 'cadillac' plan. Generous matching retirement,10% raise EVERY year for 14 years straight, etc etc. It was a unicorn, I think, in terms of jobs. And boy oh BOY did I beging to take it for granted after a while. But let's defer that. On with the timeline:

2014
Owners sold company to a largeish (10K+ employees) publicly traded company, who has recently merged with a company that everyone here knows. So the owners of the 'unicorn' sold the company in 2014 to a "normal" company. :D Thus began my career's demise. :P The transition was absolutely brutal. I had accrued 6 weeks of vacation per year from the previous company (it carried over), and took almost NONE of that for the first two years bc I was so slammed on a constant basis. And it was such a different way of working than I had been used to for the previous 15 years. This new company actually had quotas! And enforced them! I was unused to such...structure (note for anyone not familiar with sales...at that level, I suspect 99.5% of companies have some kind of quota system - usually quarterly).

FF to 2017 and I was "laid off". Fortunately/unfortunately I got a very healthy severance package which included the 14 years I was at the company that was bought out. I was actually relieved believe it or not. I had already burned out YEARS before at the unicorn, and doing pretty much the same thing at this new company, with much less flexibility, 5x the number of bosses, etc, had me wanting to leave anyway. With the severance money in hand (maybe one or two years of salary? I honestly don't remember), PLUS the money that the owners of the unicorn had given us when they sold it, as a gift to their employees, I felt zero pressure, money-wise. Note at this time my wife had not been working at all, since we started having kids in 2004, so I was the sole earner.

After I was laid off (let's be clear, I was fired, but won't go into the details about that potentially sordid side story unless someone is interested. Let's just say it involves a late-night haircut in Lima, Peru, and my boss asking to use my laptop at said haircut place. :P) one of the two owners of The Unicorn calls me up saying he heard I was let go but potentially has an opportunity for me to work for him on an idea he has, but he can't tell me details due to a contract he signed, AND that I can't work for him bc of a non-compete I signed. He basically said, 'let's both run out the clock, then I want you to come work for me". Let me be clear here: this guy was ALWAYS a stickler for doing things the right way, both legally AND morally. I had ample opportunity working in different Latin American countries, for being bribed, dealing with shady sources of data, etc. He had a zero tolerance policy for any kind of under the table stuff, and I have no reason to believe that that philosophy changed. So we waited the appropriate time before actually engaging. Ultimately I worked with him and his new startup as an independent consultant, but probably should not go into more detail here since I think they are still in litigation. Thankfully I was on the fringes of that lawsuit since I was not a direct employee (dodged a bullet there!).

2019-very early 2021:
All the previous money I had received from the Unicorn buyout AND my severance, had been expended. Things got REALLY bad, relationship-wise (I was a mopey, depressed, unemployed blob for a LOOOOONG time), and my wife finally had to find a job or we would not have healthcare (we have three kids). To give an indication of how close it was, her new employer's coverage kicked in approximately 2 days after mine expired from the previous severance package arrangements. Looking back now, this was a very selfish, dark time for me. Had my wife not stepped in with the big boy pants on and crushed it and got a job (100% for the healthcare coverage), I would have potentially put us at some serious financial risk. Note that I had CONTINUALLY been telling her "I'm going to find something! TRUST me! Don't WORRY! I PROMISE it will be fine" etc. :(

So at the darkest hour, thankfully, a very young nurse practitioner dude (whom I miss very much, he moved to a different office years ago) picked up on my depression, and I just opened up like a damn flower to him (that language sounds sexual, but it's not! :P) Seriously, he asked one specific question (this was during a routine checkup I think), and that began a journey to: therapy, anti-depressants, a psychiatrist (referred to me by my therapist since she suspected ADHD), meds for that, and really, a HUGE awakening on my part of who I REALLY was. Had never been to therapy in my life. Had never taken anti-depressants, meds for ADHD, etc etc. All new. At 46 freaking years old! Still shake my head at that. Just HOW uptight (?) or closed up I had been my whole life, about a whole lot of shit that had happened to me (including molestation when I was a wee lad, which I would rather not go into, but it was not familial)...so much shit that just talking to a therapist opened up in me that I had either refused to talk to myself about, or didn't know how (or didn't want to more likely).

TODAY (whew)
Today (or most likely within the next few days), is the last day of my mid-life career crisis. I write that with confidence though I have no "next job" in hand. I feel it in my bones like you feel the first onset of Fall after a very hot summer. A switch has been switched. I've dabbled long enough trying to "find" myself, working-wise, and it's time to go back to my previous world, if that is still even possible (and it certainly might not be given the time that's passed AND my age (48, going on 49 in Jan).

I totally cut out the part about my current job at USPS because it's kind of a separate issue, and I am curious about feedback on that specifically, so making a separate thread for that.
I will say only that it's SUCH a GRINDING, objectively bad job, that it's been the catalyst to light the proverbial fire under my ass. Working THIS hard, and this much, making literally 400% less than what I was at my peak...kinda puts things in a new light. An urgent light, if you will!
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Isgrimnur
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Re: How is your career going?

Post by Isgrimnur »

Carpet_pissr wrote: Wed Sep 08, 2021 11:23 am Note that I had CONTINUALLY been telling her "I'm going to find something! TRUST me! Don't WORRY! I PROMISE it will be fine" etc.
The hardest lies to stop telling to people are the ones you tell yourself first.
It's almost as if people are the problem.
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Carpet_pissr
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Re: How is your career going?

Post by Carpet_pissr »

Isgrimnur wrote: Wed Sep 08, 2021 11:39 am
Carpet_pissr wrote: Wed Sep 08, 2021 11:23 am Note that I had CONTINUALLY been telling her "I'm going to find something! TRUST me! Don't WORRY! I PROMISE it will be fine" etc.
The hardest lies to stop telling to people are the ones you tell yourself first.
Absolutely. And I still don't know what "mode" I was in .... either just straight up denial (of what though?), or maybe lying to myself about the urgency (yeah, probably that one) and seriousness of the situation I had put all of us in.

And this doesn't exonerate me in any way, but with some hindisght, I really, literally could not answer her questions about finding a job. I didn't know myself! It was like I had fallen into a 40' deep, pitch black hole, had no idea what was down there, and no idea how to get out or into some klnd of light. But kept shouting up to my wife "It's OK honey, everything's just FINE! I can't see anything here, and it looks like I may have some broken limbs, bleeding pretty badly, and I DO hear hissing or maybe growling somewhere close by? BUT EVERYTHING'S FINE! TRUST ME!!" :D and :(

I think we say those things as an auto-response to make loved ones feel better when times are dark, but obviously, a lot of times, things AREN'T fine, and that's ok too. The sooner we can recognize and accept that we're in the shit, probably the better the outcome.
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LordMortis
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Re: How is your career going?

Post by LordMortis »

Do you get out of it? I'm on the verge and I don't see how I'll be able to work again. I'm exhausted all of the time. I'm full of anxiety and stress which lends to depression. I don't think I'd be employable nor would I have the will to be employed if I walk away. I literally wrote notes about a resignation this morning and believe there is no small percentage I'm going to put my boss on the clock to find my replacement. I can't afford to retire but don't know how to keep on working. My health just keeps getting worse and stress work does it no favors. But who wants to pay you for stress free work? I'm very much shy of where I need to be financially, but I'm trying to figure out if counting pennies (nickels?) will get me there. I just don't see the avenue that takes me back to working again once I walk away. And I know I'll need at least year or longer to recover but I don't see that path to that recovery. I snipe at people. I'm angry. I'm tired. I don't think straight. I don't work as hard as I should. I make stupid mistakes a lot that are eventually going to be costly. Every time my phone makes a noise, I want to throw it at the wall and just say "I'm done now."

To say the least my career is not going well. For a long time it beat unemployment or unskilled wage work. I'm not sure how long it's been since that's not necessarily been the case.
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