Random randomness

[Unagi]

Theres a fake but teachable story that goes around Facebook about how not to mess with old people that goes something like....

An old woman goes to the bank and asks the teller if she can withdraw $10. The teller says she has to use to the ATM and points over there.

The old lady has never used one and just wants $10. Again the teller says she cant help her.

So the old lady says ok then Id like to close my account and have all my money given to me.

the teller says ok and checks the old lady's account and sees she has $1,000,000. Mame! she says. You dont want to withdraw all of this do you.

The old lady says yes.

So the teller gives her her money. The old lady then asks if she can make a deposit in a new account. Of course says the teller!

So the old lady writes a check for $999,990 and ask for a her change.

Never mess with an old person.....thats the story...I like it even though its bullshit .

To me, it’s weird that someone needs a lesson/reason to not mess with an old person.

[Sudy]

Some old people are jerks.

[Daehawk]

Some Most old people are jerks.

ftfy

[Sudy]

Certainly, I'm kidding... I was taught to be respectful of the aged, especially if they show signs of disability. It's just obviously not a free pass. Old age isn't generally a reward for good behaviour. It just means you showed up and/or got lucky.

But these types of "gotcha!" stories, while amusing, always annoy me due to their blatant disingenuousness. It's fabricated to make one group look better than another group or system, and when it's plastered on the Facebook wall of someone in the same category as the supposed aggrieved, the look is even worse. I know there are many specific cases of institutions fucking around with the weak, less advantaged, and innocently ignorant. They should be fought and shamed hard. Anecdotes like this can be a tool in that fight, but truth rings clearer. But other times, the rules exist and policies change for a reason. I can't imagine there's any bank that wouldn't let an old lady withdraw $10 at the counter. But if such a situation were real, the right thing to do would be to have an employee assist the old lady at the ATM. Whether it's a one-time education session (if she's capable of it), or every single time she comes in.

This is a fairly unimaginative story of a senior citizen versus both "the man" (banks), and developing technology. It feels about as clever as a video of a man fist-fighting a self-checkout machine. The writers of these stories need to do better... I don't think anybody buys Reader's Digest anymore, and there's too much real injustice in the world.

[Holman]

Lawnmower follies:

I bought an electric lawnmower (lithium ion battery) four years ago. I was aware that the batteries themselves are said to have a three or four year lifespan before they start having problems holding a charge.

This Spring I began to notice that the battery was weakening. When it was new in 2019 and 2020, I could cut the whole front yard and back yard on one charge. In April and May this year, though, I could only cut the front and then part of the back before having to recharge the battery for an hour or two and then finish.

Finally this past week I tried to cut the front yard and found the lawnmower shutting off only halfway through, and I hadn't even touched the back yard. I tried and tried, charging and recharging, but the lawnmower wouldn't go.

This morning I headed out to Lowe's and bought a fresh new battery. Surely, I thought, I could look forward to three or four more years of effortless lawnmowing.

I dropped in the new battery (fully charged) and was surprised to find that the lawnmower wouldn't start. Dammit! Was the mower itself at fault? Did I need a mowerrepairman?

I was dialing a friend to borrow his mower when inspiration hit me. I turned over the mower and saw that the blade was chunked up against a dense mass of muddy grass that had collected all along the inside of the mowing chamber. After clearing out all the gunk with a stick, the lawnmower was just fine and operated perfectly. It can't start when the blade can't move, and it gives the same warning beep you get when the battery is dead.

All in all: experimentation with a clean mower shows that the original battery has indeed lost some of its capacity, but it isn't worthless yet. I plan to keep the new battery so that I have a backup and can always be sure that I can finish the whole job without having to pause and recharge.

Also, clean out your lawnmower.

[Isgrimnur]

I was gifted a sub to RD. When I read the issue and saw the same jokes as when. I was a kid, I decided against continuing to read it.

[dbt1949]

I bought a years subscription for large print Readers Digest for my wife 5-6 years ago. I never renew it but it's still growing strong.
And yes, I checked to see if it renewed automatically and it didn't.

[hepcat]

I put up a sign in my kitchen this afternoon with a counter and the words “Days since last flooding”. It’s at 1 now.

[Unagi]

I do think shoe-elves are actually most known for making clogs.

[hepcat]

Lord of the Rings would have have been much better if the elves had all been Keebler elves. I’m just saying.

[Max Peck]

[hepcat]

It always shocks me to find antikeeblerism alive and well even in this day and age.

[Isgrimnur]

I do think shoe-elves are actually most known for making clogs.

[hepcat]

I didn’t get it at first. Nice one!

[Daehawk]

Racists with yer elves preferences. Next thing ya know you'll show up at book clubs with The Lusty Argonian Maid.

[Blackhawk]

I have my Alexa set to respond to "Computer."

Watching the finale of Enterprise.

Riker, walking down the deserted Enterprise corridor on the holodeck:

"Computer! Add appropriate crew complement, objective mode."

Alexa:

"Added 'appropriate fruit complement, objective mode' to shopping list."

[Holman]

I have my Alexa set to respond to "Computer."

Watching the finale of Enterprise.

Riker, walking down the deserted Enterprise corridor on the holodeck:

"Computer! Add appropriate crew complement, objective mode."

Alexa:

"Added 'appropriate fruit complement, objective mode' to shopping list."

You can do that? (I don't have one.)

I've always wondered what happens in households with a daughter named Alexa or Siri.

[Zarathud]

I have mine set that way so I can say: “Computer, play something funky.”

[Holman]

If I had one, I would name it "Lieutenant Uhura."

[Daehawk]

My sister asked her phone a question and instead of the standard female Im used to it was a British male voice. I laughed so much.

[Isgrimnur]

You can select from “Alexa,” “Amazon,” “Echo,” and “Computer.”

[Kraken]

I set my Waze voice to British female. Wife calls her "Fiona."

[Jaymann]

I set Siri to an Aussy male voice. But when I upgraded my operating system it said I could no longer do that without paying extra. F that noise.

[Isgrimnur]

My Siri is female Aussie

[hepcat]

If I’m at someone’s house and they have Alexa, I like to sometimes utter the words “Alexa, play Michael Bolton every day at 3:45 am and 7 am.” when they leave the room.

[Blackhawk]

You can select from “Alexa,” “Amazon,” “Echo,” and “Computer.”

That's outdated. I know for a fact that you can also call it Ziggy.

[dbt1949]

Does one need to brush their teeth just from drinking diet soda?

[hitbyambulance]

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/ ... es/475884/

non-paywall: https://www.grunge.com/136184/this-is-w ... ll-female/

[Fardaza]

If I’m at someone’s house and they have Alexa, I like to sometimes utter the words “Alexa, play Michael Bolton every day at 3:45 am and 7 am.” when they leave the room.

You sneaky, scandalous cat you!

[Blackhawk]

I am probably going to have to change mine from 'Computer' to 'Ziggy' before I go into the TNG era, or my shopping list will be three pages of Earl Grey tea (hot).

[Isgrimnur]

cnet 2021

This year, Amazon has increased its Echo wake words by two: Ziggy and Hey, Disney, which Amazon announced at its big event on Sept. 28.

[Daehawk]

I dont know what the EMTs use on their electrodes they stick on you but its like model cement mixed with rubber. I pulled the rodes off but the ring they left would not budge. I had to use GooGone in the end.

[dbt1949]

I have a hairy chest. Just rips all my chest hair out. You must have a clear baby chest.

[Blackhawk]

I just shrug it off and let it vanish over time.

[Daehawk]

Back about 12 years ago me and my wife got each of us a little cactus at the local grocery store. Just hand sized ones in a little pot. All other plants we got died. So figured a cactus might live. We were right. Both her's and mine are still alive. We each got different types thinking one may make it lol. Anyways they have not changed in 10 years..not grown...and they stopped blooming. Frankly they have started looking a bit off. Im sure the pots are both too little for them and the soil is empty of nutrients.

So for months Ive planned to get a bigger pot and some cactus mix soil and replant them together in one bigger pot. I was finally able to buy this stuff Friday. Today Im thinking of changing them but suddenly Im looking at them and I have no idea how Im going to actually move them and not hurt myself lol. One has bigger thorns which makes it easier but the other are tiny thorns and many of them. Im thinking of using my thick leather work gloves but Im worried they'll stick in them and Ill have to throw them away cause those little hair like ones will work their way through them and into my fingers.

my granny scared me as a kid when I got some in my hand and she said they'd work their way to your bones...thanks granny.

[stessier]

Back about 12 years ago me and my wife got each of us a little cactus at the local grocery store. Just hand sized ones in a little pot. All other plants we got died. So figured a cactus might live. We were right. Both her's and mine are still alive. We each got different types thinking one may make it lol. Anyways they have not changed in 10 years..not grown...and they stopped blooming. Frankly they have started looking a bit off. Im sure the pots are both too little for them and the soil is empty of nutrients.

So for months Ive planned to get a bigger pot and some cactus mix soil and replant them together in one bigger pot. I was finally able to buy this stuff Friday. Today Im thinking of changing them but suddenly Im looking at them and I have no idea how Im going to actually move them and not hurt myself lol. One has bigger thorns which makes it easier but the other are tiny thorns and many of them. Im thinking of using my thick leather work gloves but Im worried they'll stick in them and Ill have to throw them away cause those little hair like ones will work their way through them and into my fingers.

my granny scared me as a kid when I got some in my hand and she said they'd work their way to your bones...thanks granny.

[ImLawBoy]

I just shrug it off and let it vanish over time.

Winner.

[Daehawk]

I have a hairy chest. Just rips all my chest hair out. You must have a clear baby chest.

Wasn't any on my chest..they put one on each shoulder'ish area and one on each side of my belly. But yes I dont have mountain man amounts of chest hair. Hardly had any until I was in my 20s.

[Daehawk]

1. Why is Oscar Mayer regular bologna like rubber now days .

2. I think my muscle relaxer is different somehow. Usually my muscle relaxer is like a bus that picks me up in the morning and shows me the sights around town. But this refill is that but it shows up again at 6pm on a motorcycle with a side car and takes me through the seedy back alleys at full throttle.

I looked it up and its the right pill but dang. It helps like normal but when its should taper off it starts to then it comes back and hits me like an aluminum bat .

Must be a fresh batch.

[Blackhawk]

Bologna has always tasted like rubber.