Coop's next disappointing watch?

[coopasonic]

- On Saturday I watched Joker: Folie à Deux and though it was slow to get going and not as good as the first film, I liked it.

- On Sunday I watched Borderlands. It was disappointing more that it wasn't as bad as I expected but also that it really didn't align with the games at all.

- On Monday I watch the Crow (2024) and found it to be a decent film, just not at all like the original which I think is ok because it is what I expected from the commentary. If the names were changed I think the reception would have been better.

These are all films I skipped in the theater this year based on reviews.

I need you all to help with what to watch next. I am on vacation for another couple weeks so I need more disappointments to enjoy. Suggestions please.

Edit:
- On Tuesday was Civil War, apparently pretty positive reviews and I agree with the reviews. Totally fucked up though.

[Smoove_B]

Did you watch Civil War (with Kirsten Dunst)?

[Jaymann]

Longlegs is a bona fide turd.

[Max Peck]

Madame Web?

[Jaymann]

The Critical Drinker would like to nominate Kraven the Hunter:

[stessier]

Madame Web?

If you are looking for a bad movie, this will not disappoint. It is impressively bad. Not so bad it is good - just bad in the "I'm never getting this part of my life back."

[AWS260]

The Accountant. Although it might not disappoint because the pitch - Ben Affleck as a deadly, autistic accountant - sets the bar so low.

[Sudy]

If you want something that's still in theatres, Gladiator II. As a spectacle it's still entertaining, and there are some enjoyable characters/performances. But as a fan of the original I found it to be immensely scattered, disappointing, unnecessary, and ludicrous.

[coopasonic]

Civil War - 1:49 - Max
LongLegs - 1:40 - $6 Prime
Madame Web - 1:56 - Netflix
Kraven - 2:07 - Theaters
The Accountant - 2:08 - Max
Gladiator II - 2:28 - Theaters

I guess the one criteria that was missing is that the ones I watched recently were all things I was looking forward to prior to the reviews. Out of these suggestions, Gladiator II is the only one meeting that criteria. Being that long and only in theaters though makes it a somewhat unlikely pick.

I will report back.

[YellowKing]

I've got to push back against Longlegs. Maika Monroe was brilliant in that, as was Osgood Perkins' direction.

[Max Peck]

The Accountant. Although it might not disappoint because the pitch - Ben Affleck as a deadly, autistic accountant - sets the bar so low.

I thought it was fine. Nothing special, but not actually bad in any way that mattered to me. I'll watch the sequel.

[WYBaugh]

I got excited thinking this was about timepieces.

[hepcat]

I've got to push back against Longlegs. Maika Monroe was brilliant in that, as was Osgood Perkins' direction.

I liked it quite a bit too. I do admit that I went into it with astronomical expectations driven by the almost viral campaign extolling its greatness. That never ends well because nothing can live up to that. But Cage was wonderfully creepy, and the story itself was quite good. I'd say an 8 out of 10. Heretic, Longlegs, Cuckoo, Oddity...it's been a banner year for horror! And I STILL haven't seen The Substance and I Saw the Glow.

Madame Web?

If you are looking for a bad movie, this will not disappoint. It is impressively bad. Not so bad it is good - just bad in the "I'm never getting this part of my life back."

Madame Web should be shown in every acting class as an example of someone who is just there to collect a check.

[LordMortis]

I got excited thinking this was about timepieces.

I was thinking about fitness trackers and was also excited because I'd like to get one but the right one for me and to day I still have no idea what that is. Budget and timeline to replace have been intimidating.

[hepcat]

...then have Coop watch it with you?

[Scraper]

No one has mentioned The Beekeeper with Jason Stathom. It's on Prime and it's a typical action movie with some sort of black ops badass out for revenge. It's B level compared to a Bourne movie or even Taken, but I enjoyed it none the less.

[GreenGoo]

The Accountant. Although it might not disappoint because the pitch - Ben Affleck as a deadly, autistic accountant - sets the bar so low.

I liked this movie. I don't care about reality.

[Pyperkub]

The Accountant. Although it might not disappoint because the pitch - Ben Affleck as a deadly, autistic accountant - sets the bar so low.

I thought it was fine. Nothing special, but not actually bad in any way that mattered to me. I'll watch the sequel.

Yeah, I enjoyed The Accountant too. Replace it with Morbius!

[GreenGoo]

No one has mentioned The Beekeeper with Jason Stathom. It's on Prime and it's a typical action movie with some sort of black ops badass out for revenge. It's B level compared to a Bourne movie or even Taken, but I enjoyed it none the less.

Jason Stathom revenge fantasies are the best revenge fantasies.

[TheMix]

Speaking of Statham, what about The Meg 2?

Now, I don't know if it was one that coop was looking forward to, but it was not a good movie. So there is definitely the chance for him to actually like it!

[coopasonic]

Speaking of Statham, what about The Meg 2?

Now, I don't know if it was one that coop was looking forward to, but it was not a good movie. So there is definitely the chance for him to actually like it!

I assume anything with a 2 after the name is twice as good as the first and having seen neither, I'll just assume I am correct.

[TheMix]

Speaking of Statham, what about The Meg 2?

Now, I don't know if it was one that coop was looking forward to, but it was not a good movie. So there is definitely the chance for him to actually like it!

I assume anything with a 2 after the name is twice as good as the first and having seen neither, I'll just assume I am correct.

Would it help to know that (I'll put it in spoilers, but I think it was actually in the Trailer):

Spoiler:

He literally jumps the shark?

The first one is actually pretty fun. The second one is just absurd and silly. The only redeeming part is the interplay between the 3 male leads. They seem to be having fun... oh, and filming a movie too.

[YellowKing]

And I STILL haven't seen The Substance and I Saw the TV Glow.

The Substance lived up to my lofty expectations. Really enjoyed that one.

I Saw the TV Glow was one that I didn't particularly "get" when I watched it, because I completely missed the messaging. It was only after I went back and read reviews and interpretations that I realized how interesting it was. It probably deserves a rewatch now that I understand the director's intent.

[Zarathud]

No one has mentioned The Beekeeper with Jason Stathom. It's on Prime and it's a typical action movie with some sort of black ops badass out for revenge. It's B level compared to a Bourne movie or even Taken, but I enjoyed it none the less.

Jason Stathom revenge fantasies are the best revenge fantasies.

Disagree. It really was mediocre.

[coopasonic]

Did you watch Civil War (with Kirsten Dunst)?

81% on Rotten Tomatoes isn't really the kind of movie I am looking for, but that's on me for not doing the research. I thought it was good if completely fucked up.

[Smoove_B]

I didn't realize it was ranked that high by RT; I thought it was universally disliked. I enjoyed it, but I had zero expectations for quality going in and it wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be.

[Holman]

I didn't realize it was ranked that high by RT; I thought it was universally disliked. I enjoyed it, but I had zero expectations for quality going in and it wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be.

A lot of people disliked it because they expected a war movie instead of a journalism movie.

The Jesse Plemons scene makes the whole thing worth the price of admission IMO.

[coopasonic]

I didn't realize it was ranked that high by RT; I thought it was universally disliked. I enjoyed it, but I had zero expectations for quality going in and it wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be.

A lot of people disliked it because they expected a war movie instead of a journalism movie.

The Jesse Plemons scene makes the whole thing worth the price of admission IMO.

I checked to be sure since I didn't know the name, but yeah that scene was... something.

I guess I was helped by the fact I had zero expectations. Crowd rating was lower, 69% I think.

[Sudy]

I thought Civil War was outstanding, as with most of Alex Garland's work I've seen. It's one of those films where the tension is palpable. If I recall correctly most of the backlash was from the "anti-woke" crowd.

[hepcat]

No one has mentioned The Beekeeper with Jason Stathom. It's on Prime and it's a typical action movie with some sort of black ops badass out for revenge. It's B level compared to a Bourne movie or even Taken, but I enjoyed it none the less.

Jason Stathom revenge fantasies are the best revenge fantasies.

Disagree. It really was mediocre.

It felt like a half ass attempt to create a rival John Wick universe for future entries in a franchise.

[Max Peck]

I have not watched Civil War, but I have seen the "What kind of American are you?" clip/trailer. It left me with the impression that this is a film which is intended to be a cautionary tale, but some people are going to watch it and say "Yeah, let's do this!"

[Holman]

I have not watched Civil War, but I have seen the "What kind of American are you?" clip/trailer. It left me with the impression that this is a film which is intended to be a cautionary tale, but some people are going to watch it and say "Yeah, let's do this!"

I recommend it. It's tense and serious and (sometimes) funny, but the politics behind the war that's happening are basically irrelevant. It's really about what it means to be a witness to violence and societal collapse.

There aren't a lot of movies like it, or at least not by Americans.

[hepcat]

It's really about what it means to be a witness to violence and societal collapse.

This, absolutely this. People who are seeing this as a testimony on American politics are completely missing the point of this film.

[YellowKing]

I disliked Civil War immensely, but I went into it thinking it was a very different movie than it was. I understood the point after watching it, but I thought it was a colossal bore.