Well that holiday season sucked big time

[ImLawBoy]

Rather than fill the good vibe threads with downers, I'm starting a new thread to complain about a crappy holiday season. This is not a competition, but just a place for commiseration for those of us who had a bad one (or anyone who just wants to pity us).

We were set to head to my parents house for Christmas Eve and have my MIL and SIL over for Christmas Day. My oldest son had other plans, though, and was admitted to the hospital on 12/24. I still took the twins to my parents, but my wife stayed with my son. On Christmas morning, we did a video call with my wife and son so they wouldn't miss the twins opening their presents. Later in the day, we took a small box of gifts and headed to the hospital. They weren't sure what was going on with my son, so they had him in isolation in the Pediatric ICU, which typically means siblings under 13 can't visit. We pointed out that they had given him hugs before he left and my wife turned on the waterworks so the charge nurse relented and let twins come in if they gowned up and wore gloves and masks (they were already wearing masks, because we're the last masking family).

They have him on a bunch of antibiotics to counter what they think is cellulitis, plus he was having some breathing issues so they had him on a bit of oxygen. I switched places with my wife on the 27th, and they moved us out of the PICU as things seemed to be improving. He was still on IV antibiotics and the massive swelling in his leg was going down. Things stalled a bit, and my wife and I swapped again on 12/31. Happy New Years!

Last night he developed a new rash all over and he kept desatting (low oxygen levels), so they moved back to the PICU. I was off work for most of December due to not using my vacation time, but I'm back to work starting today so I'm trying to manage the twins while working (and, um, posting). We'll switch again on Friday after the work day is done so my wife can have a hospital break over the weekend. Still not sure when the big guy will be able to come home.

Meanwhile, we have lots of unopened presents for my son, my wife, and me. Just doesn't seem right to open things until we're together.

Merry freakin' Christmas.

[Jaymann]

Sorry man, and good luck with that.

[Zarathud]

I’ve been in the hospital during the pandemic with cellulitis that was antibiotic resistant. Very serious stuff, and a longer recovery than my first time. Hope your son is healing and avoided severe tissue damage. Sucks even worse to have that during Christmas.

[Holman]

Wishing you and your family all the best luck and love.

[hentzau]

Damn, ILB. That's terrible. I hope he gets better quickly, and your family gets some rest!

[LordMortis]

Get well soon ILBFamily.

[MHS]

So sorry to hear. Sending all the good thoughts for fast and thorough healing.

[Pyperkub]

Best of luck to the whole family IMLB! Sounds like he may have had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics, but the docs would know far better.

For me, I had some trials and tribulations but it didn't ruin the Holidays (yet). The check hybrid system light went off in our hybrid suv the week before Christmas. I brought the car in on Friday the 20th, We had plans to go on a short ski vacation starting Jan 1, so I figured, Ok, we can do this. First the mechanics said there appeared to be water in the hybrid battery system, but that was usually covered by comprehensive insurance. Of course it being the Holidays, the insurance adjuster didn't get there to check on the car until Christmas eve, and then I heard nothing until the Friday after Christmas when they said they couldn't do anything without taking the bumper off to diagnostics. I ok'ed that on Saturday, and then they were off Monday, so the diagnostics came back that a vent to the battery area was dented and water was getting in there. Today, the adjuster called to tell me it won't be covered. They did get me a loaner, but it's not a car I'd feel comfortable driving in snow/ice conditions at Tahoe

So, ski vacation cancelled and I'm looking at thousands of dollars of uncovered repairs. Hopefully I can still get up to Tahoe later this season.

Nothing compared to what you're going through IMLB, but still disappointing. I had been looking forward to getting up to the slopes for over a month, as I had just wrapped up a massive, extremely stressful multi-month project with a tight deadline (enforced by a 30,000 penalty to the University if I couldn't get it done) just before the break. On the good news side, at least the Indiana Jones game and Marvel Rivals were free to let me get some gaming in as I was mostly home-bound for the Holidays, and we did get some good family time in.

[Lassr]

Scary! Hope your son recovers quickly!

[Kraken]

Really hope your son comes home soon, and none the worse for wear.

Our holidays were low-key, as usual. My BIL has been in the hospital for two months now and it's not clear if or when he will be able to go home. This isn't exactly a holiday story.

He went in for back surgery around Halloween, I think it was. The operation went OK, but he acquired sepsis in the hospital. That didn't stop the hospital from turfing him to rehab when Medicare said it was time. The rehab facility ignored his erratic behavior and deteriorating condition for a few days before bouncing him back to the ICU. He's developed dementia and frequent hallucinations. The hospital says it's caused by a second, fungal infection that he acquired after the sepsis was conquered, but they haven't done a proper psych evaluation. There are a lot of things that can cause dementia, among them having a small stroke. Have they ruled that out? IDK, they won't talk to us.

His dementia is magnifying the worst aspects of his disagreeable personality. He's just a raging asshole spewing hatred and violent threats. He won't cooperate with the caregivers and is vicious to his wife, who's the only person staying by his side and advocating for him despite his constant abuse. Every day we get an update from Florida; some days are positive, most are negative. He has lucid periods and even exhibits kindness on rare occasions. The hospital won't talk to anyone but his wife, so Wife hasn't been able to bring her considerable powers of persuasion to bear.

They're talking about turfing him to rehab again, but I think that they're just following Medicare's guidelines. He's certainly nobody's favorite patient. Even though my involvement is limited to hearing the daily updates, and even though he's our last surviving immediate family member, I'm finding it hard to muster any compassion. Even Wife admitted a few weeks ago that she doesn't love him any more, although she'll do what's expected of her. He was simply too cruel to her one time too many, and that bridge done burned.

It doesn't affect us except as background noise, but it feels like it's going to drag on forever. I'll confess to having wished he'd just die and get it over with. Wife's planned all along to go to FL to help out when he's discharged home, so that's perpetually hanging over us. Tonight BIL's wife broke down in tears and told Wife she just can't do this anymore. She's had enough of the daily cruelty and abuse, and wants Wife to fly down there and relieve her.

I don't think that will happen. In the first place, she couldn't do anything practical. I mean, we'd like to move him to a better hospital, but we have no voice. The hospital will still only talk to BIL's wife. In the second place, Wife has a full-time job, will be teaching an online class on top of that starting next week, has a first draft of a book that she hasn't even started writing yet due in six months, has to commute back to Cambridge once a month, and has agreed to give a eulogy at her aunt''s memorial service in Chicago in a couple of weeks. Caring for a toxic lunatic is kind of hard to slot into all that.

Thanks for making a thread where I could vent. This has been our background drama for two months now, and counting.

[hepcat]

Oh man, I’m so sorry to hear about your son’s health issues. I really hope things take a turn for the better soon!

[Smoove_B]

I had a less than ideal Xmas week, but nothing at all like any of what y'all are sharing.

I hope you get some good news soon ILB and I'm sorry for your extended family stresses as well Kraken. My parents filled me in on a whole bunch of my own extended family drama during the holidays and it's all just so terrible sad and frustrating. Between elder relatives that are sick and cousins that are fighting (over money), it's not really how I imagined life would be like at this juncture.

[Kraken]

I should add the context that Wife and I have been cheerfully settling into our new house and lives. The background drama is a persistent sour note but our own lives are going great. Even my old dependable winter depression is barely noticeable this year. I suspect I might even be happy. It's an unusual feeling.

[Zenn7]

WOW, so sorry about your son ILB, hope he makes a full recovery soon!

All I had was covid for me and my kid (for me, only symptoms are a minor cold; he had a more severe cold but is mostly over that an he tested negative; I'm testing positive still as of Wednesday).

Not a severe problem but had to miss xmas with my immediate family and can't get with parents and an aunt we take care of almost like a parent until we are both COVID free.

[Madmarcus]

I wish your son a speedy recovery ILB!

[Unagi]

I had a less than ideal Xmas week, but nothing at all like any of what y'all are sharing.

Yeah, this.

I hope you get some good news soon ILB and I'm sorry for your extended family stresses as well Kraken.

And this!

[stessier]

Wow - hope everyone feels better soon!

[Alefroth]

So sorry to hear that, LawBoy. Hoping for the best.

[Suitably Ironic Moniker]

Adding my best wishes to the chorus, ILB. That sounds like a terrifying experience.

[ImLawBoy]

Thanks for the well wishes. Still in the hospital, although I'm back home from my weekend shift. The cellulitis and rash have mostly cleared, but now we're dealing with a surge in seizures. He's always going to have some level of seizure activity, but these are clustering at bedtime and when he's waking up. He just falls asleep, has a seizure, that wakes him up, wash, rinse, repeat. I think being in the hospital is exacerbating the situation because he can't get quickly into deep sleep, but we don't have the effective rescue meds to give him at home if we take him home and they start up. I was hoping he could come home today or tomorrow, but not sure now.

Nothing compared to what you're going through IMLB, but still disappointing.

It's not a competition and misery loves company. Sorry for the bummer on the trip.

His dementia is magnifying the worst aspects of his disagreeable personality. He's just a raging asshole spewing hatred and violent threats. He won't cooperate with the caregivers and is vicious to his wife, who's the only person staying by his side and advocating for him despite his constant abuse. Every day we get an update from Florida; some days are positive, most are negative. He has lucid periods and even exhibits kindness on rare occasions.

There's apparently some kind of long hospital stay induced madness (for lack of a better term) that can occur that would make these behaviors even worse. My uncle was in the hospital for a lengthy stay due to a heart condition, and at one point he was convinced that people were trying to crawl through the air ducts trying to kill him. He's had no other signs of dementia before or since (unless you count being an Iowa Hawkeye fan), so it was weird to hear about. I guess it's not unheard of, though.

[Kraken]

His dementia is magnifying the worst aspects of his disagreeable personality. He's just a raging asshole spewing hatred and violent threats. He won't cooperate with the caregivers and is vicious to his wife, who's the only person staying by his side and advocating for him despite his constant abuse. Every day we get an update from Florida; some days are positive, most are negative. He has lucid periods and even exhibits kindness on rare occasions.

There's apparently some kind of long hospital stay induced madness (for lack of a better term) that can occur that would make these behaviors even worse. My uncle was in the hospital for a lengthy stay due to a heart condition, and at one point he was convinced that people were trying to crawl through the air ducts trying to kill him. He's had no other signs of dementia before or since (unless you count being an Iowa Hawkeye fan), so it was weird to hear about. I guess it's not unheard of, though.

I've heard of that before. This week he had a few good days in a row, and we got some useful advice from my physician friend, who is going to review his charts if we can get the hospital to send them. BIL's wife talked to his surgeon yesterday, and the dementia was news to him. So he's not getting great treatment, but we think we have the info and an ally we need to change that.

Sorry your news isn't better. Hospitals aren't great places to spend a lot of time.

[TheMix]

Glad to hear that there is some good news. Sorry to hear that there are still issues. Wishing you luck!

[Zarathud]

My father-in-law was a very kind and non-violent person but the interruptions from being in the hospital changed his personality before he passed. You don’t expect a former priest to turn mean. The nurses understood, but it’s shocking to see.

[ImLawBoy]

Came home on Saturday. We're keeping him home from school this week, but hopefully he'll be ready to go back after that. It's nice to have everyone at home.

[Kraken]

Came home on Saturday. We're keeping him home from school this week, but hopefully he'll be ready to go back after that. It's nice to have everyone at home.

Great news!

My BIL is finally out of the hospital and into rehab, and he's lucid and rational. Cautiously optimistic that he'll be able to go home in a couple of weeks.

[LawBeefaroni]

Came home on Saturday. We're keeping him home from school this week, but hopefully he'll be ready to go back after that. It's nice to have everyone at home.

Good to hear!

Not a bad week to stay home either. Sub -20s and lots of residual holiday colds/flus/other out there.

[Holman]

Great news!

[MHS]

[hepcat]

Excellent news! Thanks for the update!

[Jaymann]

Great, a win for the home team!

[Dramatist]

It’s great to hear good news!


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