The Matt Gaetz Soap Opera

[hepcat]

Look up John Rzeznik now. Lead singer for the Goo Goo Dolls. He’s gone all in on the plastic surgery and the results are…disturbing.

[Unagi]

[hepcat]

[abr]

You can do all the plastic surgery, but the hands never lie.

[LordMortis]

Mine were lying in my 30s. They were simply blabber mouths in 40s. They convinced my neck and hair of their case now that I'm in my 50s, so it's all over.

[LawBeefaroni]

The report is here. Read it. This is who Trump wanted for AG. This is where our elected officials are today.

If you need motivation, go to page 18 of the report.

[Kurth]

The report is here. Read it. This is who Trump wanted for AG. This is where our elected officials are today.

If you need motivation, go to page 18 of the report.

Well, glad that saw the light of day. Curious to know what was special about page 18 . . . The entire report was full of Gaetz being a drug devouring, criminal perv!

[Smoove_B]

Didn't he threaten to release information about his former colleagues if that report ever saw the light of day? Or was that Marjorie?

Either way, DO IT you f-ing cowards. Burn all the bridges.

[Alefroth]

Didn't he threaten to release information about his former colleagues if that report ever saw the light of day? Or was that Marjorie?

That involved him being seated in the new congress and filing a privileged motion to reveal recipients of public money for sexual harassments settlements. I guess he decided against that.

[LawBeefaroni]

The report is here. Read it. This is who Trump wanted for AG. This is where our elected officials are today.

If you need motivation, go to page 18 of the report.

Well, glad that saw the light of day. Curious to know what was special about page 18 . . . The entire report was full of Gaetz being a drug devouring, criminal perv!

Just pictures. Draws people in.

[hepcat]

Just pictures. Draws people in.

Oh god, I hate you SO Much right now.

[Carpet_pissr]

The report is here. Read it. This is who Trump wanted for AG. This is where our elected officials are today.

If you need motivation, go to page 18 of the report.

Well, glad that saw the light of day. Curious to know what was special about page 18 . . . The entire report was full of Gaetz being a drug devouring, criminal perv!

Just pictures. Draws people in.

Lol! I fell for it, too.

[Kurth]

The report is here. Read it. This is who Trump wanted for AG. This is where our elected officials are today.

If you need motivation, go to page 18 of the report.

Well, glad that saw the light of day. Curious to know what was special about page 18 . . . The entire report was full of Gaetz being a drug devouring, criminal perv!

Just pictures. Draws people in.

Well done. If you ever decide to quit your day job, you’ve got a promising career ahead of you writing click-bait for CNN!!!

[Holman]

VI. CONCLUSION
Based on the above, the Committee determined there is substantial evidence that Representative Gaetz violated House Rules and other standards of conduct prohibiting prostitution, statutory rape, illicit drug use, impermissible gifts, special favors or privileges, and obstruction of Congress.

[El Guapo]

so, uh, did he also violate non-House laws and rules regarding prostitution, statutory rape, etc.?

[Alefroth]

It certainly seems that way.

He could still be charged somewhere, right?

[Isgrimnur]

Depends on if anyone has the willingness to bother.

[baelthazar]

This part of the report cracks me up, it feels like a quote from The Naked Gun or something. Imagine Leslie Nielsen reading this:

The Committee did not find sufficient evidence to conclude that Representative Gaetz
violated the federal sex trafficking statute. Although Representative Gaetz did cause the
transportation of women across state lines for purposes of commercial sex, the Committee did not
find evidence that any of those women were under 18 at the time of travel, nor did the Committee
find sufficient evidence to conclude that the commercial sex acts were induced by force, fraud, or
coercion.

[Max Peck]

This part of the report cracks me up, it feels like a quote from The Naked Gun or something. Imagine Leslie Nielsen reading this:

The Committee did not find sufficient evidence to conclude that Representative Gaetz
violated the federal sex trafficking statute. Although Representative Gaetz did cause the
transportation of women across state lines for purposes of commercial sex, the Committee did not
find evidence that any of those women were under 18 at the time of travel, nor did the Committee
find sufficient evidence to conclude that the commercial sex acts were induced by force, fraud, or
coercion.

IIRC, those things are what would have made it a federal crime (i.e. the women being minors or force/fraud/coercion) and that is likely why they were explicitly spelled out.