Octopus Overlords

Ive lived in 4 places only. Grew up on a farm with my grandma and grandpa until I was 8 I think it was in 1977. He passed away and granny and me moved about 1 mile to a home beside her adult son and his wife . Lived there until I was 16 in 1985 and she became too dementia'd. Moved in with dad across town for 2 years until 1987 when I was 18 and met my future wife and we moved into the house with her parents across town again.. We still live here with me 47 now. It will be our 30th anniversary this Sept.

coopasonic wrote:I guess I forgot to delete the memories when the house was leveled.

No, no - it sounds more like you did delete the memories when the house was leveled. ("not much to miss")
Or maybe I'm not following you here.

Carbon unit designated Coopasonic has no need for emotions. Please enter Kill All Humans protocol code to proceed.

We moved often when I was a kid due to my dad's work and my parents' wish to move to a rural area and build their dream home which unfortunately never materialized (though it came very close).

- Till I was eight, we lived in a townhome in a suburb of Toronto. It's still there, but I have mixed feelings about these times. Definitely plenty of nostalgia, though.

- From then until I was eleven, we rented a century-old farmhouse an hour east of Toronto. A lot of good memories here. It still exists, though has been heavily renovated. This was supposed to be temporary until we built our home on the property my parents had purchased in the same town, but unfortunately it never materialized as my father lost his job.

- Instead, my father found work in North Carolina for three years where we rented a couple of homes till I turned 15.

- We then returned to Toronto when I began high school. Lived with my grandparents for a year in the same suburb where I was born before we moved into a nearby apartment. My folks are still there, but soon to move.

- For nearly the last ten years my wife and I have lived in Richmond Hill, a different suburb of Toronto, in the basement of my father's family home. My grandad passed in '94, but my grandmother's still with us. This year, due to burgeoning property values, we sold it. My grandmother's lived here since the 50s. My parents are looking to move a couple hours outside of the city and taking my grandmother with them. Mrs. Nym and I don't yet know where we'll land.

Definitely have strong feelings of nostalgia when it comes to most of the places I've lived. Sad I'll unlikely get to revisit most of them. I often think my personality might have developed quite differently had we not moved so much when I was young. I think it's partially to be blamed for some of my neuroses. On the other hand, I have strengths and insight I might not have developed otherwise.

Sudy Nym wrote:So a brusque Eastern European woman shaved my chest hair today.

Pfft. Talk to me when your nether regions have been waxed by a Russian woman named Svetlana. It was as bad as you might imagine.

Edited to add: Are there non-brusque Eastern European women?

MHS wrote:

Sudy Nym wrote:So a brusque Eastern European woman shaved my chest hair today.

Pfft. Talk to me when your nether regions have been waxed by a Russian woman named Svetlana. It was as bad as you might imagine.

I know a Russian woman named Svetlana. She is very nice. She took our wedding photos. She does not wax nether regions that I'm aware of.

I'm pretty sure that's a different brochure.

MHS wrote:Edited to add: Are there non-brusque Eastern European women?

Possibly, but I don't think they work in medical offices (or spas/salons).

Sudy Nym wrote:So a brusque Eastern European woman shaved my chest hair today.

Then she attached the electrodes for the Holter monitor test.

Don't cut the red wire....

brusque or burlesque?

hepcat wrote:My father's long time companion died in 2015, so he's been alone since that time. That's what makes this harder for me. I live 7 hours away, my brother only 2. He sees him as often as he can, but it still bothers me that he's alone so much of the time.

On the plus side, the man has an incredibly huge network of friends back in New Philadelphia. He went to two different Christmas parties while I was visiting, and he had one friend checking on him daily while he's been sick.

Sounds to me like he's doing just fine, and doesn't want his children meddling with his life. You can bet that he's entirely aware of his mortality. If he's of sound mind and body and has decided that he wants to be alone at home, respect that.

When he's no longer competent, then you can meddle. You'll know.

And we've returned to the whole "you're a bad person for caring!" crap again.

I need to remember not to post personal shit.

We moved a bit when I was young so I'm not really nostalgic for any of the old homes.

A couple of years ago, just for the hell of it, I used Google street view to look up the place in Toledo where we lived for a couple years. It made me laugh and shake my head to see a big Rebel flag on the pole in the front yard.

The neighborhood has really gone down hill!

hepcat wrote:And we've returned to the whole "you're a bad person for caring!" crap again.

I need to remember not to post personal shit.

This is a complete overreaction, just so you know.

Yes, but so is calling my concern for my father's health "meddling".

I went through this crap a few weeks ago when I wrote about my mother. So I'm still a bit sensitive to people telling me I'm in the wrong for wanting to make sure a family member is okay. I should just keep this stuff to myself if I'm not prepared for the replies I might get.

MHS wrote:

Sudy Nym wrote:So a brusque Eastern European woman shaved my chest hair today.

Pfft. Talk to me when your nether regions have been waxed by a Russian woman named Svetlana. It was as bad as you might imagine.

Edited to add: Are there non-brusque Eastern European women?

How much does that cost? Is it extra for a happy ending?

hepcat wrote:And we've returned to the whole "you're a bad person for caring!" crap again.

I need to remember not to post personal shit.

No you aren't. I have a good story developing concerning my wife's father but am still working through picking up the pieces. I will post some details this weekend of the horror story that not keeping close enough tabs on him has caused and the craziness of the fallout on us real soon.

Suffice it to say he got cleaned out by a charlatan bitch over the last six months and the wife has only just discovered what was happening. Regretting not having been monitoring him more closely atm.

Isgrimnur wrote:

hepcat wrote:And we've returned to the whole "you're a bad person for caring!" crap again.

I need to remember not to post personal shit.

This is a complete overreaction, just so you know.

Yeah, that is not what I typed.

Of course you should be concerned, and you should be thinking about what happens when dad can't take care of himself anymore. It would be good to have a plan in place against that day...particularly since, once you start to look into it, you will discover that there are no ideal options (unless one of you has very deep pockets). Meanwhile, respect his space.

hepcat wrote:Yes, but so is calling my concern for my father's health "meddling".

Cranky old people use cranky old words and concepts to color their communication and describe the world.

I'm sure Kraken meant well. I just bristled because, as I said, I'm still sensitive on this matter.

LordMortis wrote:

hepcat wrote:Yes, but so is calling my concern for my father's health "meddling".

Cranky old people use cranky old words and concepts to color their communication and describe the world.

It is true that I empathize more with hepcat's dad than with hepcat and I'm glad I don't have any kids to take away my drivers license or my house. I plan to die alone and forgotten and nobody's going to stop me!

Rip wrote:Suffice it to say he got cleaned out by a charlatan bitch over the last six months and the wife has only just discovered what was happening. Regretting not having been monitoring him more closely atm.

That is a bigger concern of mine than my old man killing himself. I'd hate to see all they have worked for and prepared for ending their poverty by not understanding the ubiquity of scam artists and thieves in this world. I think my mom is sufficiently cautious, as her uncle was wiped clean of 10s of millions of dollars the day after his death, resulting in a long federal investigation of the family. The money and assets were never recovered. My dad, not so careful, and he controls their money.

Kraken wrote: I'm glad I don't have any kids to take away my drivers license or my house. I plan to die alone and forgotten and nobody's going to stop me!

I don't want to infantilize him, I simply want to make sure that he's not lonely and that he has some help.

I think hepcat reacts to being called 'meddling' the way that I react to being called 'ignorant'.

Does your dad belong to any social groups or elder service organizations like the Moose or Elks? My aunt is a widower but she stays busy with bus trips with a senior group to a semi-local casino. There are other things this senior group does and it's not 100% of her social interaction, but she does enjoy it. Have you suggested to your Dad that he completely abandon his local family in NJ and PA and move to the depths of OH - close to the KY border? No? That's not normal? Sorry, I thought maybe it might be.

But would it be Justified?

Smoove_B wrote: Have you suggested to your Dad that he completely abandon his local family in NJ and PA and move to the depths of OH - close to the KY border? No? That's not normal? Sorry, I thought maybe it might be.

New Philadelphia is in Ohio. I remember going into a funk years ago after learning that I grew up in what is officially considered Appalachian Ohio.

It took me close to a year to stop pronouncing "wash" as if it rhymed with borscht after I moved away.

And yeah, I took meddling as a negative connotation. As I said, I'm sure Kraken didn't mean it the way I took it.

Kraken wrote:I plan to die alone and forgotten and nobody's going to stop me!

Hear Hear!!!... Here Here? Hear Here? Herr Hare? Hair Heir?... What he said!

hepcat wrote:New Philadelphia is in Ohio. I remember going into a funk years ago after learning that I grew up in what is officially considered Appalachian Ohio.

Sorry, I was being cheeky. I knew he was in Ohio. I was just lamenting that sometimes family members intentionally move 12+ hours away and isolate themselves. Sometimes they move in with a nun and create a very weird relationship (from an outsiders perspective).

My parents just hit 71 and my Dad is (allegedly) going to retire in the next 6 months. He wants to keep working P/T somewhere ("I'll bag groceries or push a broom") and my mom has it in her head that they're going to be going going on non-stop vacations around the globe. I honestly don't know what I'd do if something happened to either, but the idea of one of them living alone in their current house does give me pause.

Ah, got it. Sometimes when I mention the name of the town I grew up in, folks assume I meant Pennsylvania.

I did. I figured the 'New' was some localism. Like when people from Chicago complain about driving on LSD and assume that the rest of us know they're not talking about trippin' on a trip, or when people from New Jersey refer to almost anything.

Isgrimnur wrote:I think hepcat reacts to being called 'meddling' the way that I react to being called 'ignorant'.

My trigger word is idiot. My dad used it referring to both himself and me. Neither of us are. It's a reminder of the psychological abuse of my childhood and makes me want to kill.

hepcat wrote: New Philadelphia is in Ohio. I remember going into a funk years ago after learning that I grew up in what is officially considered Appalachian Ohio.

It took me close to a year to stop pronouncing "wash" as if it rhymed with borscht after I moved away.

If it's any consolation, people from (old) Philadelphia pronounce "water" like it's "wooder."

So does my father, who was raised in Miami, and summered on his aunt's farm in South Carolina.

Isgrimnur wrote:So does my father, who was raised in Miami, and summered on his aunt's farm in South Carolina.

I can't picture anyone who "summers" saying "worsh." My father was raised in SE Michigan and says "worsh" and "chimley" (but with almost silent bi in there after the m) among other things. I have no idea where he got all that from. His dad hailed from West Virginia but he never had the Appellation annunciation and my uncle doesn't either. His mom was raised outside of Chicago and not too far removed from Germany and she sounded more like she was from a coal country than grandpa. None of it makes any sense to me at all.

Did his aunt worsch stuff in the crick?

Worsh, wooter, etc.

Rip wrote:Did his aunt worsch stuff in the crick?

There were no crawdads down a-t'crick. And while he'd have us worshd'car we never had to chanjd'earl. Again, it makes no sense. Our creek had crayfish and we had to change the oil.

Worshin's for deeshes.

LordMortis wrote:

Rip wrote:Did his aunt worsch stuff in the crick?

There were no crawdads down a-t'crick. And while he'd have us worshd'car we never had to chanjd'earl. Again, it makes no sense. Our creek had crayfish and we had to change the oil.

Our crick definitely had crawdads, and my aunts were aints.

My dad was from ozark hillbilly stock so I grew up hearing that idiom, and I still slip into it myself from time to time. I can only ever call the capital "Worshington" for instance.

Blackhawk wrote:Worshin's for deeshes.

After you have put leftovers in the icebox.