Octopus Overlords

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2018 7:55 pm**

Kasey Chang wrote: ↑Tue May 15, 2018 1:48 pm I just measured myself it appears I'm now wearing a 19 inch neck. Eeek. The only shirt I can collar my neck is like a f***ing tent under my armpits.

Either I custom fit for a shirt (which costs me $$$$$$ I don't have) or I take this monster shirt to my local tailor and see what they can do with it.

In the meanwhile, I ordered a new shirt from Amazon's house brand "Buttoned Down". Chest seems right and neck size is right. We'll see about the rest.

(And I finally figured out what they mean by "classic fit" "slim fit" and "athletic fit". Classic fit is "normal", slim fit is narrower chest and waist, and athletic fit is even narrower chest and waist. .

You gotta go bespoke.

You can buy a made-to-measure custom shirt from Modern Tailor for as little as $19.95 as a first-time customer, so it's at least worth a shot.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2018 8:11 pm**

Kasey Chang wrote: ↑Tue May 15, 2018 1:48 pm And I finally figured out what they mean by "classic fit" "slim fit" and "athletic fit". Classic fit is "normal", slim fit is narrower chest and waist, and athletic fit is even narrower chest and waist.

Styles have changed, though.

Classic fit is boxey grandpa. Slim fit is what people are wearing. Athletic fit is tight enough to show off your gym body.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2018 9:27 pm**

This is the weather over me currently:

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2018 9:41 pm**

Looks like a fine Texas spring evening.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2018 10:11 pm**

Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue May 15, 2018 7:55 pm You can buy a made-to-measure custom shirt from Modern Tailor for as little as $19.95 as a first-time customer, so it's at least worth a shot.

I'll check it out. Thanks. We'll see how the Amazon shirt is.

EDIT: Aha, they're based on China, that's why. Nothing wrong with that, of course. I'll need to do my measurements again. I can't do it myself, darn it. Either that, or my measures are out of whack at chest and waist. I wear 44 inch waist pants. So how did my measurements for my shirt waist came out to be 50?! Argh!

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2018 10:51 pm**

Fox News

Spoiler:

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2018 11:33 pm**

Kasey Chang wrote: ↑Tue May 15, 2018 10:11 pm
Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue May 15, 2018 7:55 pm You can buy a made-to-measure custom shirt from Modern Tailor for as little as $19.95 as a first-time customer, so it's at least worth a shot.
I'll check it out. Thanks. We'll see how the Amazon shirt is.

EDIT: Aha, they're based on China, that's why. Nothing wrong with that, of course. I'll need to do my measurements again. I can't do it myself, darn it. Either that, or my measures are out of whack at chest and waist. I wear 44 inch waist pants. So how did my measurements for my shirt waist came out to be 50?! Argh!

Yeah, I believe the production office for Modern Tailor is located in Shanghai. But they do provide a solid, no-frills option for tailored clothing with entry-level pricing.

Anyway, I'd suggest having the local tailor you mentioned do the measurements for you for the best results, which shouldn't cost you anything.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2018 12:52 am**

Ive learned if it says it comes from China to read as many customer reviews as possible to see if the shirt runs to size or is smaller than size due to being for the asian market. I got an XL once that was like a medium lol. Then I ordered a large that was like a XL.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2018 6:43 am**

Yeah, this blog post about size conversions saved me from ordering a kimono that wouldn't have fit me the other day.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2018 10:03 am**

But you would have looked so cute in it!

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2018 11:19 am**

pr0ner wrote: ↑Tue May 15, 2018 9:27 pm This is the weather over me currently:

I don't know if it was related to the storm system that rolled through my part of NJ around 4pm yesterday, but we didn't get power back until around 2am this morning. I lost some roof shingles and a tree came down in my back yard. There's still about 56K people in NJ without power, about 7K in my county and 30K in the neighboring one. Some schools are closed and it's generally a mess around these parts. Stay safe!

EDIT: The storm actually caused a rare type of tsunami to occur of the Jersey coast. Never heard of this before.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2018 1:00 pm**

There were parts of Maryland near Frederick that got 4.5 inches of rain or more last night.

Heard on the radio this afternoon that we might get another 6-12 inches of rain out of this weather pattern before it breaks free this weekend. Oy.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 1:31 pm**

Woke up on my right side. I hardly sleep on my right side because the kidney stones in my left kidney tend to ache like mad if I do because of gravity. But this morn my right side of my throat felt bad and also my ear. Now hours later its still a bit off and when I drink anything cold it seems EXTRA cold and kinda hurt the right side of my throat and through my right ear too. Must be catching something. My best hope is its something to do with pollen. Took some Benadryl.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 1:36 pm**

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 2:31 pm**

Hypothetical.

You are on land line hold (not in a bathroom) for 35 minutes. You have to be pee. What do you do?

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 2:33 pm**

LordMortis wrote: ↑Thu May 17, 2018 2:31 pm Hypothetical.

You are on land line hold (not in a bathroom) for 35 minutes. You have to be pee. What do you do?

Put the phone down and pee quickly, hoping that when I get back I'm still on hold.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 2:35 pm**

Call the dog over......

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 2:36 pm**

Have my wife hold it for me.

EDIT: The phone...the phone.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 2:37 pm**

LordMortis wrote: ↑Thu May 17, 2018 2:31 pm Hypothetical.

You are on land line hold (not in a bathroom) for 35 minutes. You have to be pee. What do you do?

Depending on what era of the 80s or 90s I'm in, I either take the phone with the crazy long cord into the bathroom, or I put it on speaker and pee with the door open so I can hear if someone picks up.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 2:49 pm**

wonderpug wrote: ↑Thu May 17, 2018 2:37 pm Depending on what era of the 80s or 90s I'm in, I either take the phone with the crazy long cord into the bathroom, or I put it on speaker and pee with the door open so I can hear if someone picks up.

In my hypothetical, the cord might stretch to 8 feet, there are two fire doors (I think that's what they call them) between you and the bathroom and the bathroom door as well as probably nearly 200 feet (unit of measure, not things you put in shoes). Also they altered the conditions. It is now about 52 minutes you've been on hold, suggesting PG probably had the right answer before the conditions were altered.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 3:14 pm**

In that case, I look for an empty bottle, jar, disposable cup, or some similar conveyance.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 3:18 pm**

Play the Rickroll on YouTube and set the phone down next to it. Quickly. Before they pick up. Get this over with.

Absolute worst thing that happens is you come back to a dead phone and snicker that the customer service rep was all "WTF?!" and you start with a new 55 minute hold time.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 3:30 pm**

We had cordless phones in the early 90s so bathroom runs were np.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 3:55 pm**

In the old days a library book could be 2 weeks late and the charge would be around .50 cents. My wife borrowed one from the local library and its about 1 week late and they charged me $4.80.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 4:22 pm**

Your library is weird. Our local system has no charges for late books. Movies, video games or other media, absolutely. But books? Nothing. They'd just put a hold on your account if you tried to borrow anything else.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 4:35 pm**

Out library is something like a nickle a day for a late book. But you can take it out for 3 weeks and renew online 2x before it is late.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 4:36 pm**

Paingod wrote: ↑Thu May 17, 2018 3:18 pm Play the Rickroll on YouTube and set the phone down next to it. Quickly. Before they pick up. Get this over with.

Absolute worst thing that happens is you come back to a dead phone and snicker that the customer service rep was all "WTF?!" and you start with a new 55 minute hold time.

I was thinking the rep finally comes online and apologies for the wait because she had to go to the bathroom.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 5:58 pm**

Seattle Public Library raised daily overdue fees from a dime to a quarter some years ago. i think King County Library still has theirs at a dime.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 9:18 pm**

Why couldn't I have been born gay.
A male spouse has got to be better than a female spouse.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2018 9:30 pm**

Sometimes I have to remind myself that coworker doesn’t always equal friend. Folks can turn on a dime.

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2018 1:28 am**

I just double-checked the only SHIRT I have with the neck that fits. It's like a TENT under my arm pits, so I took it to a Chinatown tailor to have it altered. It was $15 and it's done in a day. I doubt I paid more than 25 for my shirt (it's a pretty generic Van Heusen in 20/34-35 with poplin) and it works fine. Which is then I realized I wear a SIZE 20 neck (!!!) and I'll probably have to return that $40 Amazon "Buttoned Down" house brand shirt.

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2018 3:48 am**

hepcat wrote: ↑Thu May 17, 2018 9:30 pm Sometimes I have to remind myself that coworker doesn’t always equal friend. Folks can turn on a dime.

Counterpoint: Sometimes coworker is a work-friend, and you learn that their last day is tomorrow. It dawns on you how much this person truly means to you and tears are shared. For added fun, you are sworn to secrecy since this person abhors drama. You are torn between respecting her request and your desire to publicly celebrate her even though you have only shared 5 of 30 years at said company and she is not retiring.

Many beers later you post a message much like this one

(I'm half-tempted to call in sick on Friday, but that would mean an even weaker goodbye and less opportunity to spend time with her.)

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2018 5:45 am**

dbt1949 wrote: ↑Thu May 17, 2018 9:18 pm Why couldn't I have been born gay.
A male spouse has got to be better than a female spouse.

I'm reminded by my wife whenever I'm ill that there's nothing more needy/annoying than a sick man.

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2018 8:12 am**

When you go to buy a BMW do you have to take a test to prove you are an insufferable douche or does it happen as you drive it?

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2018 9:17 am**

I purchased a monocle for the sole purpose of spending an afternoon test driving BMWs.

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2018 9:23 am**

Sectoid wrote: ↑Fri May 18, 2018 8:12 am When you go to buy a BMW do you have to take a test to prove you are an insufferable douche or does it happen as you drive it?

None of the above.

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2018 9:26 am**

hepcat wrote: ↑Fri May 18, 2018 9:17 am I purchased a monocle for the sole purpose of spending an afternoon test driving BMWs.

Wadaminnit.... I though you purchased a monocle so it could fall in to your drink during a moment of big reveal? Or do you purchase different monocles for different occasions? I suspect in actuality, you are purchasing glasses and breaking them in half and merely telling everyone, "Oh there's a monocle for that!", trying to get in the next wave of Apple advertising.

I see what you're trying to do. I got my eye on you.

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2018 9:28 am**

I think there's a "Douche Serum" pump installed in the driver's seat. When you sit down, you compress the seat down over an IV coated in anesthetic so you don't feel it. Or maybe you do, but you like it.

My last brush with this Serum was two days ago. As regular traffic was moving south on the highway at 5-10mph over the limit, a Douche-powered BMW was weaving in and out of lanes, cutting people off on both sides to try and go 20-30 over the limit.

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2018 9:37 am**

Are run-of-the-mill BMW drivers more douchey than Porsche SUV drivers? Or less?

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2018 9:47 am**

I can't recall seeing a douchy Porche driver. Mostly they seem like 60+ year old men, generally going the speed limit and in no particular hurry. Maybe that's just Maine, though.

Porche SUV drivers haven't stood out either, but generally seem to be in more of a hurry. I can't say I've seen them being great big general douches except some speeding.

Octopus Overlords

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