Octopus Overlords

Daehawk wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 12:17 pm Ive learned to be picky when I find clerks working. I avoid the older or elderly'ish ones. On the flip side I also avoid the very young. I stay in the middle age range and also try to find a male clerk. Its not a sexist thing really..more part of that chatty thing. They usually wont chat me up and simply check me out. Then I assess who is in line. Again avoiding older folk and fuller buggies. Then do they have children with them? This again is a no no line.

I don't find male or female cashiers matter. As long as I'm keeping to myself, they keep to themselves. My formula is for Checkout speed (CS) is based on Cashier Age (CA), Number of Patrons (NP), Items, (I)and Total Patron Age (PA).

CS = (((PA*I)/NP)*CA)

Whichever line has the lowest overall value is the one I step into. Invariably it ends up being the longest, though, so I don't know why I bother.

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 11:58 am The only reason I avoid them is that I usually do my shopping for seven days worth of food for four people. With that much stuff in the cart, the regular checkout where I can just pile it all on the belt and go (and not worry about weighing each item, etc) is faster. But if I'm just getting a few things? Self checkout is so much faster than waiting for Grandma Jones to figure out why checks work differently now.

This is where I am. A few items = self checkout. A larger amount = cashier.

In my experience, it doesn't matter. My superpower is that no matter what line I get in, something invariably goes wrong and they have to flip the "I need help" light on.

Either it's somebody buying booze and the cashier is underage, or it's some raisin trying to save seven cents on her $200+ grocery spree and somehow doesn't grasp that the coupon she's waving about expired in 1978, or something mechanical/electrical breaks down and now we all have to wait.

As far as superpowers go, mine's rather shit.

Side note: Fuck you Walmart for doing away will all but one or two lines that employ actual humans. If you want me to fucking do all of my own bagging, pay me to do it.

We pretty much stopped going to Walmart now.

I'm the oddball. I usually avoid the short lines. I get the strangest looks when I'm checking out, a cashier says, "I can help you right now!" and i say "No, thanks" and pull into an aisle with two people and a full conveyor. With the quantity of stuff i get (again, four people times seven days), a fast line is a real pain. I usually have my cart only half emptied by the time the cashier has run out of room to put everything, and that's with scrambling to get it all up there. And the ice cream ends up with the grapes, and the eggs end up in the cart first.

By picking an aisle that has people in front of me, I have the cart halfway unloaded before they finish with the person in front of me, and finish about the time they start to run out of room to stack it. Plus, I can load the heavy stuff onto the belt first (bottom of cart), then the frozen stuff (to put in freezer bags in the trunk - it's a 30 minute drive home), then fridge stuff, then other, then fragile stuff last (to put on top of the cart in the baby 'seat' area.)

It ends up being just as fast (the spoiler is the unloading speed), and much less chaotic.

I laughed at everything Brian said. A raisin haha.

Also when theres a problem and that blinking "HELP ME!" light comes on you start thinking "Do I stay with this line and wait it out or rush over to another line and hope for the best?"...Because you know as soon as you leave the broken line it will be fixed and you should have stayed but if you do stay it will simply not be fixed and take forever.

Well, our grocery store usually has no more than 2-3 open cashier lines, so it's not like you get to pick and choose your clerks. I think the are up to 12 self-checkouts now (those are still 15 items or less). There are no conveyors to load stuff on, so if you have a cart, you push it up to the cashier, and they unload your cart as they are scanning the items.

Brian wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 1:31 pm In my experience, it doesn't matter. My superpower is that no matter what line I get in, something invariably goes wrong and they have to flip the "I need help" light on.

Either it's somebody buying booze and the cashier is underage, or it's some raisin trying to save seven cents on her $200+ grocery spree and somehow doesn't grasp that the coupon she's waving about expired in 1978, or something mechanical/electrical breaks down and now we all have to wait.

As far as superpowers go, mine's rather shit.

Side note: Fuck you Walmart for doing away will all but one or two lines that employ actual humans. If you want me to fucking do all of my own bagging, pay me to do it.

We pretty much stopped going to Walmart now.

Wondertwin powers....

I'll add writing a physical check, tape runs out on the register, arguing a price (right or wrong), getting a rain check, scanner won't scan and no price is on the merchandise.

I don't like self checkout when I have eleventybillion items. I'm stuck scanning and bagging and orienting and feeling like the people behind me are entitled to me moving along quickly. I hate shopping so I usually get eleventybillion items at a time and rarely self checkout.

I don't shop at WalMart so I can't relate to their peculiarities.

AB's Costco comment earlier doesn't jive for me. Costco may very well have their act together but they don't have self checkout and only have like 8 lanes total. No matter how efficient they may be at keeping the cattle moving they can't accommodate the volume of people/stuff that needs to be moved efficiently. Everyone is shopping like it's the last time you will ever be at a store and all the lines are always 10 people deep. That's a resignation you concede the moment you decide "Yay! Today is free sample day for grocery shopping" and part of why I get my $1.50 hotdog and Pepsi on the way in and both enjoy my cart cup holder and wonder why my Pepsi cup doesn't really fit in it properly.

Long lines not moving doesn't bother like it used to. I accept grocery shopping is going to take time and that's that.

Unless it's summer and I have a shitton of frozens. If my frozens are basically thawing while I'm in line I start getting agitated.

Sam's Club has the best system. You use their app to scan as you go and pay via credit card through the app. Stop at the door on the way out for a spot check, and done. No lines at all.

Thats another shit thing about Walmart. You shop in a huge store, stand in a long line to pay, then some old fart at the exit stops you to scan your ticket and sometimes scan an item in your buggy. WTF. You think Id steal some junk from Walmart you're nuts.

Also with self check out....and I admit this may have changed but Im still wary of it.....is that you used to have to keep all the items and bags on their little scale where you bag them. You couldn't make room by putting a full bag in your cart because it would start blaring plz replace item in bag blah blah.

stessier wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 2:43 pm Sam's Club has the best system. You use their app to scan as you go and pay via credit card through the app. Stop at the door on the way out for a spot check, and done. No lines at all.

Meijer and Kroger near me (or Meijer's and Kroger's near me) both claim to be able to that through my smart phone. I've yet to try nor notice a single other person at the grocer try. I've also yet to see the exit that allows for this. I could get on board for this I think, maybe. It will depend on how much phone/scanner fumbling is required as I put thing in the basket... and how much other people fumble with their phone/scanner while I wait to get what I want...

Daehawk wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 3:06 pm Thats another shit thing about Walmart. You shop in a huge store, stand in a long line to pay, then some old fart at the exit stops you to scan your ticket and sometimes scan an item in your buggy. WTF. You think Id steal some junk from Walmart you're nuts.

That's effing obnoxious when they do that. One Wal-Mart, I figured out, did it any time you had anything on the lower rack. Another did it randomly. Some never do it.

One did it when I was exhausted and in a foul mood.

"I need to check your receipt, Sir."
"Do you think I stole something?"
"No, we just..."
"Then no." And away I went.

I ignore them as I walk out. They have no legal right to do so.

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 3:40 pm

Daehawk wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 3:06 pm Thats another shit thing about Walmart. You shop in a huge store, stand in a long line to pay, then some old fart at the exit stops you to scan your ticket and sometimes scan an item in your buggy. WTF. You think Id steal some junk from Walmart you're nuts.

That's effing obnoxious when they do that. One Wal-Mart, I figured out, did it any time you had anything on the lower rack. Another did it randomly. Some never do it.

One did it when I was exhausted and in a foul mood.

"I need to check your receipt, Sir."
"Do you think I stole something?"
"No, we just..."
"Then no." And away I went.

It's a very soft deterrent. Knowing that they do the checks may discourage amateurs from stealing stuff.


May.

I scan and bag as I go along. The scanner me a running total and everything gets bagged exactly where I want it. Tap the Checkout button, scan the barcode at the self-checkout, scan any coupons, pay, go. I only have to interact with a human if the scanner chokes on one of my coupons, as happens ~10% of the time.

Kraken wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 4:24 pm I only have to interact with a human if the scanner chokes on one of my coupons, as happens ~10% of the time.

You're saying that your coupons are ~10% off?

LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 4:26 pm

Kraken wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 4:24 pm I only have to interact with a human if the scanner chokes on one of my coupons, as happens ~10% of the time.

You're saying that your coupons are ~10% off?

Paper coupons are slowly dying out, but I still save a few bucks every week with them. It adds up. Back in their day, yeah, I could save 10% with them.

You people with your high-tech cyber-stores! Most of the stores around here don't even support chip cards.

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 5:49 pm You people with your high-tech cyber-stores! Most of the stores around here don't even support chip cards.

I was in some place yesterday that the chip reader was not functioning. I screwed up the sale 3 times. I have let my beard go for 2 months and its white now days instead of red. I couldn't help thinking the teen aged cashier was thinking "Old folks and tech sheesh". And Im sure Ive done tech longer than she has been alive. But she was patient in real life hehe.

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 3:40 pm

Daehawk wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 3:06 pm Thats another shit thing about Walmart. You shop in a huge store, stand in a long line to pay, then some old fart at the exit stops you to scan your ticket and sometimes scan an item in your buggy. WTF. You think Id steal some junk from Walmart you're nuts.

That's effing obnoxious when they do that. One Wal-Mart, I figured out, did it any time you had anything on the lower rack. Another did it randomly. Some never do it.

One did it when I was exhausted and in a foul mood.

"I need to check your receipt, Sir."
"Do you think I stole something?"
"No, we just..."
"Then no." And away I went.

I've read a couple of online articles that say it's not because they think you're stealing, it's that they're checking the competency of their cashiers. I can see where they might want to make sure cashiers are paying attention and ringing up things on the bottom of the cart, etc. I know I've forgotten once or twice that I had laundry detergent or something down there if I'm doing a big shop.

Cheap chicken - check
Egg noodles - check
sour cream - check
Ritz crackers - check
2 cans cream of chicken soup - check

Tomorrow is chicken casserole day I guess.

I accidentally stole my deodorant on my last trip through the self checkout.

Oh shit, I just realized today my quinces accidentally rang as bananas.

Walmart and Costco's exit checkers are NOT really anti-theft devices.

Instead, they are multifunctional

1) They are there to catch any missed items on the cart, that somehow made it through the checkout line and still unscanned.

2) They make the company look as if they CARE about theft prevention (and thus, lower shrinkage and enforce lower prices)

3) They provide a psychological deterrent to people who *thought* about shoplifting

Actually they don't even have them most of the time around here anymore.

They were talking about ramen noodles on the news the other day and the weatherman admitted that he at them dry and crunchy and sprinkled the power on them for seasoning.
I had never heard of such a thing.

Instead, they are multifunctional

I think they're there to be annoying, to make you mad, and make you feel bad when you're rude to them.

stessier wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 2:43 pm Sam's Club has the best system. You use their app to scan as you go and pay via credit card through the app. Stop at the door on the way out for a spot check, and done. No lines at all.

My wife and I love Sam's for this very reason, especially this time of year. No lines or nonsense. Costco needs to get with the times already.

dbt1949 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2019 10:45 pm They were talking about ramen noodles on the news the other day and the weatherman admitted that he at them dry and crunchy and sprinkled the power on them for seasoning.
I had never heard of such a thing.

I've had "ramen salad" at potlucks and such. It involves dry ramen as an ingredient. It's not as terrible as it sounds. Unless it has almonds.

From what I've read recently, the increasing use of self-checkout and reduction of live cashiers at places like Walmart, chain grocery stores, etc has actually led to a rise in shoplifting but they are saving so much money by not having to pay actual humans that it offsets the loss from shrinkage.

Brian wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 10:39 am From what I've read recently, the increasing use of self-checkout and reduction of live cashiers at places like Walmart, chain grocery stores, etc has actually led to a rise in shoplifting but they are saving so much money by not having to pay actual humans that it offsets the loss from shrinkage.

In retail, it's "shrink." Shrinkage means something else.

The scan-as-you-go, self-checkout grocery store performs random audits. The checkout station signals a human to come over and spot-check a dozen or so items in your cart. These audits happen regularly when you're new to the routine, but become less frequent as you keep passing your tests. I've never been caught in a mistake so I'm almost never audited anymore, maybe once every 3-4 months just to remind me that Big Broccoli is watching.

Once, long ago, they made me empty my cart at a staffed checkout and have everything scanned. IDK what triggered that, but they were clearly expecting a gotcha moment. I passed it with 100% accuracy and it never happened again.

It would still be easy to beat the honor system, if one were so inclined. One could, for example, weigh one onion and then slip a few more into the bag after printing and scanning the label. Audits don't check the weight of your produce, just that your onions were scanned. I've been known to label organic broccoli as regular broccoli when they're out of the cheaper kind that I want. Because I only do that when I feel like it's their fault, the cost to them is trivial.

Well, the mystery Christmas gifter has now upped their intensity for what I can only hope is the grand finale. They apparently finished spelling “Christmas” while I was out of town this week. I came out this morning, and there were four additional gifts:

“L”, Rice Krispie treats molded into a large heart (which was on an uncovered plate, and was rock hard by the time I found it)
“O”, a box of “faith rocks”, a bunch of hand painted rocks with “faith”, “god”, “love” etc on them
“V”, a Mormon DVD, something about “Joy to the World”
“E”, some sort of handmade Christmas wreath donut....thing

Each of these was again accompanied by some sort of saying, poem, or spiritual thought. The DVD, for example, had a note attached that said, “As you are reminded for the last several days why we celebrate Christmas, it is our hope you will watch this video year after year and be grateful for the wonderful gift Christ has blessed us with”. Sorry my dudes, I highly doubt the thing ever even gets opened once.

I can only hope that last batch means we’ve reached the end of this nonsense. Thankfully, there hasn’t been any more expensive gifts, and they’ve now all moved to handmade things. If they feel like taking their personal time to do this stuff, knock yourselves out.

I’m sure this whole effort has given some family (families?) the warm fuzzies that they’re going to make some sort of huge difference in the lives of the Skinypupy household. The reality is that all this stuff just sat on the counter until one of us chucked it or threw it in the donation box because we were annoyed it was in the way.

My primary takeaway from the whole thing is disappointment that they chose to do this instead of putting all that effort, energy, and expense into something that would actually have actually mattered to someone.

I've never had to be spot-checked because I only ever check out maybe 4 items at the self-checkout... 1 or 2 bottles of Diet Coke, maybe a medium soup, and maybe a sweet snack (but not often). I don't even take a bag (in California we have to pay for bags, even paper, and they are now a quarter)

That porch gifter may have done all that because they got a chain email telling them too lol. Or maybe they really do think its all warm and fuzzy. I hope they got something from it. But yes they could have volunteered at a food , homeless, or animal shelter or donated to the same.

Ordered a movie from Amazon. I didn't realize until after I couldn't cancel it was from England. Took three weeks to get here and it doesn't work. Probably coded for Europe.
Wrote them an e-mail thru Amazon.
I would like to call them clueless and stupid but hey, I bought it. So who is stupid and clueless?

Kraken wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 11:53 am In retail, it's "shrink." Shrinkage means something else.

I am currently working in the retail environment and everybody uses shrinkage.

Skinypupy wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 12:07 pm
“L”, Rice Krispie treats molded into a large heart (which was on an uncovered plate, and was rock hard by the time I found it)
“E”, some sort of handmade Christmas wreath donut....thing

I could get behind random free blankets, even rocks. Even if their motivation is questionable, I could still appreciate the items. But open food from anonymous strangers left on the porch?

Uh, no.

Brian wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 4:27 pm

Kraken wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 11:53 am In retail, it's "shrink." Shrinkage means something else.

I am currently working in the retail environment and everybody uses shrinkage.

Interesting...in the 15 years that I worked in conventional retail (until 1996), it was always "shrink."

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 4:44 pm

Skinypupy wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 12:07 pm
“L”, Rice Krispie treats molded into a large heart (which was on an uncovered plate, and was rock hard by the time I found it)
“E”, some sort of handmade Christmas wreath donut....thing

I could get behind random free blankets, even rocks. Even if their motivation is questionable, I could still appreciate the items. But open food from anonymous strangers left on the porch?

Uh, no.

I think it was probably covered when they left it, as there was a large piece of cellophane stuck to one corner.

But even if it was wrapped up tight, there’s no way I’d have eaten it.

By 'open food' I mean not factory sealed. I'm not concerned so much with chipmunks getting into it as with the cook getting into it.

Kraken wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 5:25 pm

Brian wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 4:27 pm

Kraken wrote: ↑Sat Dec 21, 2019 11:53 am In retail, it's "shrink." Shrinkage means something else.

I am currently working in the retail environment and everybody uses shrinkage.

Interesting...in the 15 years that I worked in conventional retail (until 1996), it was always "shrink."

I've always heard shrinkage. Granted I've never worked in retail but I've seen the motivational signs behind counters and have read financial reports/accounts. Both use "shrinkage".