Pictures and Videos for R&P

hitbyambulance · Post by **hitbyambulance** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 4:33 am

Moliere wrote:What she wants to do with those guns.

"What--are you kidding me? I’m about to fly to Paris and shoot ‘em in the head myself!" Fiore said she told Muth when asked why she didn't join the statement on Syrian refugees.

"I am not OK with Syrian refugees. I’m not OK with terrorists. I’m OK with putting them down, blacking them out, just put a piece of brass in their ocular cavity and end their miserable life. I'm good with that," she continued.
Stupid on many levels.

i'm still not processing that someone in some level of US government actually said this...

Rip · Post by **Rip** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 4:43 am

hitbyambulance wrote:
Moliere wrote:What she wants to do with those guns.

"What--are you kidding me? I’m about to fly to Paris and shoot ‘em in the head myself!" Fiore said she told Muth when asked why she didn't join the statement on Syrian refugees.

"I am not OK with Syrian refugees. I’m not OK with terrorists. I’m OK with putting them down, blacking them out, just put a piece of brass in their ocular cavity and end their miserable life. I'm good with that," she continued.
Stupid on many levels.
i'm still not processing that someone in some level of US government actually said this...

Not sure she understands guns. The brass stays in the gun. Lead and copper come out.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 12:24 pm

Daily Mail

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 11:23 am

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:19 pm

Light up and heat the damn cave, for two things.

Grinch isn't very bright, and it's not like he stole Christmas presents because he really needed some new socks.

I hate that I try to ruin jokes, but Jokes have to have some logical consistency if they're not purposefully of an absurdist nature.

In the story, the Grinch never opens the presents at all. The above joke could just as easily have been "what am I going to do with all these shiny boxes" if we use the same joke logic as it is applied to candles (which have an obvious use, whereas shiny boxes do not).

I guess I'm saying if you're going to go to all the work of replacing a common thing with something else and call it a joke, you better make sure there is a logical consistency between the common thing and the new thing, otherwise it's just not going to work for me.

I believe I am slowly learning what the world "Spoilsport" means.

Holman · Post by **Holman** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:27 pm

The Grinch steals Christmas because he hates all the damn singing.

He steals Hanukkah because it makes everything smell like latkes for a week.

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:32 pm

GreenGoo wrote:Light up and heat the damn cave, for two things.

But he only has enough matches to light one candle.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:33 pm

Defiant wrote:
GreenGoo wrote:Light up and heat the damn cave, for two things.
But he only has enough matches to light one candle.

Max Peck · Post by **Max Peck** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:34 pm

GreenGoo wrote:Light up and heat the damn cave, for two things.

Grinch isn't very bright, and it's not like he stole Christmas presents because he really needed some new socks.

I hate that I try to ruin jokes, but Jokes have to have some logical consistency if they're not purposefully of an absurdist nature.

In the story, the Grinch never opens the presents at all. The above joke could just as easily have been "what am I going to do with all these shiny boxes" if we use the same joke logic as it is applied to candles (which have an obvious use, whereas shiny boxes do not).

I guess I'm saying if you're going to go to all the work of replacing a common thing with something else and call it a joke, you better make sure there is a logical consistency between the common thing and the new thing, otherwise it's just not going to work for me.

I believe I am slowly learning what the world "Spoilsport" means.

The joke is that Hanukkah presents suck (compared to Christmas presents).

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:39 pm

Max Peck wrote: Hanukkah presents

What is this thing you speak of?

Jaymann · Post by **Jaymann** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:41 pm

Defiant wrote:
Max Peck wrote: Hanukkah presents
What is this thing you speak of?

Don't they give each other matzo balls or something?

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:48 pm

Jaymann wrote:
Defiant wrote:
Max Peck wrote: Hanukkah presents
What is this thing you speak of?
Don't they give each other matzo balls or something?

Only if they missed an inoculation when they were younger.

Max Peck · Post by **Max Peck** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:50 pm

Defiant wrote:
Max Peck wrote: Hanukkah presents
What is this thing you speak of?

Exactly.

Rip · Post by **Rip** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:53 pm

Rip · Post by **Rip** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:39 pm

Jaymann · Post by **Jaymann** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:51 pm

That doesn't even look like Hillary.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 4:16 pm

Rip wrote:

That's not a justification.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 4:28 pm

hepcat wrote:
Rip wrote:
That's not a justification.

It's a laughable comparison. Carter cancelled existing visas and stopped issuing new visas along with countless other sanctions against Iran in response to their. It was meant to penalize the Iranian government, not to keep out bogeymen. And even with all that, they still accepted political refugees and allowed for humanitarian exceptions.

It wasn't a knee-jerk security action born of bluster and ignorance. It was a calculated diplomatic sanction out of the standard toolkit.

Trump wants an entire religion banned because of fear. It doesn't even make sense.

pr0ner · Post by **pr0ner** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 9:03 am

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 9:42 am

GreenGoo wrote:Light up and heat the damn cave, for two things.

Grinch isn't very bright, and it's not like he stole Christmas presents because he really needed some new socks.

I hate that I try to ruin jokes, but Jokes have to have some logical consistency if they're not purposefully of an absurdist nature.

In the story, the Grinch never opens the presents at all. The above joke could just as easily have been "what am I going to do with all these shiny boxes" if we use the same joke logic as it is applied to candles (which have an obvious use, whereas shiny boxes do not).

I guess I'm saying if you're going to go to all the work of replacing a common thing with something else and call it a joke, you better make sure there is a logical consistency between the common thing and the new thing, otherwise it's just not going to work for me.

I believe I am slowly learning what the world "Spoilsport" means.

That's not "the joke". The joke is just in that Christmas is associated with "Gifts" and Hanukkah is associated with "Candles".... It's just a Christmas > Hanukkah joke. It's a Hanukkah is lame joke. It's not a "oh that's so true... what would he ever do with all those candles..." joke.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 9:44 am

Max Peck wrote:
Defiant wrote:
Max Peck wrote: Hanukkah presents
What is this thing you speak of?
Exactly.

Sorry, I hadn't seen you already helped GreenGoo with this.

Max Peck · Post by **Max Peck** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 11:23 am

Unagi wrote:
Max Peck wrote:
Defiant wrote:
Max Peck wrote: Hanukkah presents
What is this thing you speak of?
Exactly.
Sorry, I hadn't seen you already helped GreenGoo with this.

Heh, no need to go all Canadian on me.

I think it helps to get the joke if you're familiar with the Jon Lovitz "Hanukkah Harry" SNL sketches. I'm pretty sure that's the origin of the "Hanukkah presents suck" meme that's lodged in my noggin.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 12:32 pm

Max Peck wrote:
unagi wrote:Sorry, I hadn't seen you already helped GreenGoo with this.
Heh, no need to go all Canadian on me.

I'm glad that wasn't missed!

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 4:27 pm

Unagi wrote: That's not "the joke". The joke is just in that Christmas is associated with "Gifts" and Hanukkah is associated with "Candles".... It's just a Christmas > Hanukkah joke. It's a Hanukkah is lame joke. It's not a "oh that's so true... what would he ever do with all those candles..." joke.

Well, not to get too judgmental on it, but that changes it from a poor joke to a stupid one. Your explanation makes it worse, not better.

For a joke to work, you have to do more than just find something that people already think of as weird, point at it and say "that's weird, lol!". I have a co-worker who's approach to comedy is exactly that. Mostly I just want to punch him in the face.

Your explanation is tantamount to saying that because Hanukkah is lame, I can make a joke just by calling attention to it. It's as if some yokel said "Dems new yorkers are different from us. Isn't that funny? Hyuk!"

See, I told you I was finally understanding what spoilsport meant and how to implement it successfully.

In all seriousness, Hanukkah is not as fun as Christmas. So I get that. There are lots and lots of clever jokes that use this fact to make me laugh. The Grinch stealing candles is a GREAT start to a Grinch who stole Hannukkah joke. The author really got my hopes up for some clever, make me laugh idea. But then he dropped the ball and ended with "Candles are stupid and Hanukkah is lame". But because I don't think candles are inherently stupid, not even in connection to the much less fun holiday of Hanukkah, I'm left scratching my head. Worse, he suggested that Candles are useless, when they clearly have very obvious uses. After a great setup there is no knock down. The joke gets my hopes up and then expertly dashes them by being dull and pandering.

Let's try this a different way.

The Author would be Paul Reiser and I would be Peter in this example.

Family guy scene:

Paul Reiser: So what's the deal with airline food? Is this stuff bad or what?
Peter: Aw, that's not nice; those chefs work really hard.
Reiser: And what's with those Starbucks, huh? They're everywhere.
Peter: Uhh...a lotta people want coffee; that's supply and demand, it's the foundation of our entire economy Paul...
Reiser: And who do I talk to about those long lines at the atm? That's what I wanna know.
Peter Not me, Mr. Reiser. Someone who has time to fritter away, but not me.

Except I have a LOT of time to fritter away.

What's with those Candles, Mr. Grinch? Well, they make heat and light, for one thing. Where are you going with this? Oh, that's the entire joke? Candles, aren't they inherently funny? No sir, they are not.

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 4:33 pm

GreenGoo wrote: In all seriousness, Hanukkah is not as fun as Christmas.

Maybe, but we have better eats - we've got sufganiyot and potato latkes for Hannukah (and Chinese food for Christmas). You guys have egg nog and fruit cake and candy canes.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 4:37 pm

Defiant wrote:
GreenGoo wrote: In all seriousness, Hanukkah is not as fun as Christmas.
Maybe, but we have better eats - we've got sufganiyot and potato latkes for Hannukah (and Chinese food for Christmas). You guys have egg nog and fruit cake and candy canes.

I wouldn't doubt it, although I don't have any jewish friends that I'm close enough to to be invited to their celebrations.

Egg Nog is pretty good, and Turkey is a traditional meal (which is awesome) but I can easily see many foodstuffs (does anyone actually say that word any more?) being way tastier.

Holman · Post by **Holman** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 4:58 pm

Tough room!

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 5:38 pm

Holman wrote:Tough room!

Definitely. It's possible I'm too hard on jokes, but I love to laugh, and I expect high quality.

I hang out on OO in part due to the high quality of daily funny.

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 6:42 pm

Maybe this will be funnier? What if XMAS were a Jewish holiday

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » Sun Dec 13, 2015 8:10 pm

Max Peck · Post by **Max Peck** » Sun Dec 13, 2015 8:58 pm

Defiant wrote:

It might be a good idea to cross-post this in the Trump thread.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Sun Dec 13, 2015 10:47 pm

I lol'd.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 10:16 am

Stealing it.

Rip · Post by **Rip** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 2:55 pm

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 3:03 pm

Rational human beings have known for a long time that Jesus wasn't Fabio's clone.

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 3:32 pm

Wouldn't it be more accurate to call it an approximation of what a typical person in that region at time of Jesus looked like, than the "real face of Jesus"?

(Not that it hasn't been clear that historical paintings of Jesus were artist's interpretations)

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 3:38 pm

No, that's exactly what he looked like. They even interviewed his barber in order to get the hair style right.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 4:05 pm

GreenGoo wrote:
Unagi wrote: That's not "the joke". The joke is just in that Christmas is associated with "Gifts" and Hanukkah is associated with "Candles".... It's just a Christmas > Hanukkah joke. It's a Hanukkah is lame joke. It's not a "oh that's so true... what would he ever do with all those candles..." joke.
Well, not to get too judgmental on it, but that changes it from a poor joke to a stupid one. Your explanation makes it worse, not better.

For the record; I was most certainly not trying to say, "it was a funny cartoon strip, and you just didn't get". Just that I think it was to be taken very shallowly.

What is sorta funny (to me), is that the whole lesson of The Grinch was that the presents didn't matter - and Christmas survived his thievery.... But at the crux of that Joke is that Presents do matter because they kick ass over candles. I even allowed my brain to consider that by taking all the candles, the Grinch may have indeed put a halt to Hanukkah, because that holiday is indeed about the candles being lit... Where as Christmas, having Nothing to do with Gifts (

his comic betrays that lie) survived.... and yet how clearly the comic was trying to say that Candles suck compared to Gifts. So, it was funny (disaster funny) because it was totally missing any foundation. (if ya follow my broken mind)

So yeah, I thought the comic was deeply troubled - but I never went to: "light up the cave is what you should do with the candles"

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 10:59 pm

“So, Admiral Ackbar, what do you think of Cruz emerging as a more level-headed alternative to Trump?”

Moliere · Post by **Moliere** » Tue Dec 15, 2015 7:29 pm

Defiant wrote:
“So, Admiral Ackbar, what do you think of Cruz emerging as a more level-headed alternative to Trump?”