Random randomness

[GreenGoo]

Nicole Kidman is not aging well. I'm too lazy to post her picture, but she looked awful at the Grammies.

This makes me sad. I have a special place in my heart for her, having had to put up with Insano McScientologist for so long.

I've never found her remotely attractive. She is all angles and hard edges. Not my type at all.

Not even remotely in the ballpark of my type, but still more attractive than Ms. Collagen Golden Globes.

[Mr Bubbles]

Nicole Kidman is not aging well. I'm too lazy to post her picture, but she looked awful at the Grammies.

This makes me sad. I have a special place in my heart for her, having had to put up with Insano McScientologist for so long.

I've never found her remotely attractive. She is all angles and hard edges. Not my type at all.

Not even remotely in the ballpark of my type, but still more attractive than Ms. Collagen Golden Globes.

I found her extremely attractive in Dead Calm. I hearted her, but I'm afraid I have to let go of that school boy crush and move on to bigger and better things. Mostly bigger.

[SpaceLord]

Ok, Mr. Asshole Sales Manager, it's fine that you ask me if I have the saved documents from a former Marketing guy. What's not fine is that you get mad when I don't have them. What's absofuckinglutely not fine is that when I do research, I find:

• I did save those documents
  I gave you access to them 8 months ago
  I told you that you could you save whatever you want
  I then, a month later, asked if I could delete them, and you said yes

Too. Damn. Bad that you want them now.

/arg

[Mr Bubbles]

So I've been working through the day and been feeling a bit tense. Wondering what it was... I looked down and realized I am starting to develop a belly and my pants are fitting tight. When did I develop this monstrosity. I really need to start exercising. I certainly would fail the Pinch an inch test.

[GreenGoo]

So I've been working through the day and been feeling a bit tense. Wondering what it was... I looked down and realized I am starting to develop a belly and my pants are fitting tight. When did I develop this monstrosity. I really need to start exercising. I certainly would fail the Pinch an inch test.

I was very athletic but slim as a post when I was younger right into my 20's. Strong core and legs, decent arms but almost no chest or shoulders.

I remember the first time as I aged that I did my usual sort of hop/glide down a set of stairs and felt my "pecs" bounce/jiggle.

I. Was. Horrified.

So many things are flopping around now that aren't supposed to that I barely notice my stomach protruding. Sigh.

Standard North American life style and zero discipline. Can't complain too much as it's my own doing.

Enjoy your new found flotation device.

[Unagi]

Ok, Mr. Asshole Sales Manager..., it's fine that you ask me if I have the documents... What's not fine is that you get mad when I don't have them. What's absofuckinglutely not fine is that when I do research, I find:

• I did save those documents
  I gave you access to them 8 months ago
  I told you that you could you save whatever you want
  I then, a month later, asked if I could delete them, and you said yes

Too. Damn. Bad that you want them now.

/arg

'my kid' <-> 'Mr. Asshole Sales Manager'
tortellini <-> documents
'for the last 10 minutes' <-> '8 months ago'
eat <-> save
'five minutes' <-> 'a month'
eat <-> delete

[Isgrimnur]

Two doctors offices called me back today. Winnar #1 even has Saturday appointments, which I will be going to this weekend... likely less than 48 hours before a work trip to Atlanta, which is one of the few times that I can pinpoint a cause to my spiral that has made it so that I haven't left the house in two days...

[LordMortis]

Cottage cheese is a pretty good deal. Much better than yogurt. Three cups, yields about 6 side dishes to go with a small lunch or dinner for only a buck eighty eight. Thirty two cents a serving is better than yogurt on sale and I don't think you get a half cup of yogurt in one of those containers and yogurt is not as filling and cottage cheese with fat has less calories than all yogurt but the fat free yogurt, which it is equal too.

I can't imagine eating fat free cottage cheese.

Besides, fat is good for you. Sort of.

[The Meal]

Cottage cheese is a pretty good deal. Much better than yogurt. Three cups, yields about 6 side dishes to go with a small lunch or dinner for only a buck eighty eight. Thirty two cents a serving is better than yogurt on sale and I don't think you get a half cup of yogurt in one of those containers and yogurt is not as filling and cottage cheese with fat has less calories than all yogurt but the fat free yogurt, which it is equal too.

I can't imagine eating fat free cottage cheese.

Besides, fat is good for you. Sort of.

Fat-free cottage cheese (240 calories for 1.5 cups - the entire container) + tomatoes (grape tomatoes have flavor this time of year, 35 calories) + garlic salt (no calories) = my dinner twice a week. And one of my favorites.

I get my fat elsewhere.

[LordMortis]

I get my fat elsewhere.

According to Fitday.com, it looks like my fat intake is about right. It looks like my carbs are still way too high and my protein is way too low. I'll change that someday, somehow. But as of my favorite sayings goes: "Never break more than one law at a time." (Taught to me by a wise and yet foolish pot head. My favorite kind.) I've got my calories under control-ish. I'm already eating healthier than I have in years and I'm preparing to start trying to relearn how to exercise. Forcing myself into that much of a potentially unpleasant diet change would be too much right now.

The one thing I am concerned about right now is salt. Having cut back on restaurant and preserved foods immensely I have cut my salt immensely (presumably accounting for a good chunk of my up front weight loss). Fitday tells me that I am still consuming over 3000 mg of salt on average every day. And I don't season anything except my friend rice, which I put a little soy on while I frying. Somewhere along the line I have to figure out where all this salt is coming from, so I can cut that in half. I have no idea how that's going to happen. I also can only imagine how much salt I was taking in before this year began.

[tjg_marantz]

Mmmmm, friend rice.

[LordMortis]

While at lunch, I'm looking up chin up bars. I'd like to pick one up on the way home. Every place has them available for online purchase. No one carries them. I even broke down and went to the evil empire as a last resort. Sure enough, not even walmart carry them in store but sell them online.

This is not a trend I care to see. I like being able to get things when I want them from Brick and Mortar stores. I especially like being able to go online and find out that I can go to a brick and mortar store to get something. I don't like going online and finding out from a retailer, sure, we carry this item, if you care to order it through the mail. (though walmart and sears do get credit for the fact that they will ship to their store and you can go pick it up) I am an impulse shopper. I am part of the right fricken now with no hassles generation.

I fear I am going to need to go to sporting goods store and pay a huge premium for a $14.00 chin up bar because I want it now. At least I didn't have drive Meijer, and Kmart, Sears, and WalMart.

Though, I also admit I get annoyed with the Interweb tells you an item is in stock and then you get to the store and it's not there. I'm looking at you Ford Motor Company (whom I think are actually using bait and switch techniques and use infrequent inventory update as a policy excuse) and Best But (whom I think are just incompetent).

[Freezer-TPF-]

Friendly winter driving tip: As a courtesy to the drivers who will be behind you, clean the fucking snow off the roof of your fucking car.

[The Meal]

Friendly winter driving tip: As a courtesy to the drivers who will be behind you, clean the fucking snow off the roof of your fucking car.

[LordMortis]

Fricken Royal Oak Music Theater. They've abandoned ticket resellers and sell tickets by themselves online. They are now charging service fees just like TicketMaster does. If you are taking in the money for the service charge, why not just list the ticket price at what it is?

It's one thing when the service provider wants to rob you blind while absolving the venue of the onus or blame. It's quite another for the venue to pull that shit. ROMT, you are on the verge of being on my shit list. You're >< this close. In fact, you are on notice.

[LordMortis]

A Johnsonville brat (original) is only 270 calories. I'm thinking that slicing up a brat and throwing it in a pita with some mustard and a few drops of Frank's might not be so bad. You might even be able to get enough flavor for two sandwiches out of one brat. This could go well for the ole diet.

[dbt1949]

Snakes have tattoos of humans on them.

[Tscott]

Two dreams from last night:

#1: I'm selected to be on a special team on the next Space Shuttle mission. Everyone's excited for me and they start driving me over to the launch site. But I never got a chance to pack. I've got shorts on and only one sock, and I'm thinking I can't go up in the shuttle like this. Are they going to give me some equipment when I get there - and while they're at it, they might want to give me some training because I've got no clue what I'm supposed to be doing when I get on that thing.


#2: I'm at Arby's waiting for my family to show up. I'm trying to solve a magnetic puzzle on their bulletin board to pass the time. When my family shows up, including aunts, uncles and my grandmother, we look for a spot in the restaurant where we all can sit together. I find a table in a back room. We sit and talk, but then someone comes to tell us we're in the VIP section and we have to move. I ask the employee where we all could fit in the main room, and we walk around but only see seatings for 2 or 4 people. They suggest we could sit on the ground next to the fireplace and I get upset. "Sit on the ground? Why don't you get rid of ALL your tables and chairs and have ALL your customers sit on the ground?" We leave. Everyone gets in their cars and go, but I'm left in the dark looking for my car. But somehow the parking lot has been taken over by rednecks with guns, wearing pig noses and they're throwing mud at each other for fun. I can't get around them, and I can't find my car.

[Brian]

Clearly your destined to open the first Arby's on the moon.

But obviously not the good section of the moon.

[Jaymann]

I had a dream I was at the Superbowl and the Cleveland Browns were trailing 26 - 19 late in the game, deep in their own territory. They were unable to move the ball, so I ran on to the field waving my arms, "I'm open, I'm open!" But the quarterback turned out to be a woman with a stumpy rounded club in her hand an she proceeded to beat me upside the head. I couldn't retaliate for fear of a sexual harassment lawsuit.

[dbt1949]

Dangerous underwater creature.

[LordMortis]

Ode to the Succubi

Evil, 240 calorie brownie
You have won this round
How anyone could ever resist your brownie wiles
I will never know

Oh my God

our moments together were special
You were the best I've had in months
even better than I remember
from the last time you came around
maybe a year ago

Evil you may be but I will miss you

Stay gone! Don't return!
I can't bear to have you around again
I'll never win. I can't.
My love for you runs too deep
Too thorough

Evil, temptress, 240 calorie brownie
Why did you do this to me?
What have I ever done to you
to deserve this betrayal?
You win every test of loyalty
and yet you punish me

I am powerless under your chocolaty spell
Cakey, chewy, crunchy on the edges
With your frosting make up or without
Even when you're nuts
When you are around
I can't live without you

Evil 240 calorie brownie

-LordMortis

[Isgrimnur]

Today has convinced me to update my resume.

[LordMortis]

It's Patzki Day and I am going to go sans patzki.

[LordMortis]

And for my second food post of the day... It's really not fair that bananas have about a 48 hour sweet spot where they are good to eat. Someone needs to invent a banana that just starts to brown in a day and then stays that way for a week and a half before starting to turn in to ultra nasty sweet puss-like browning mush.

There are days when it sucks to be so picky. But fortunately today was not one of them. My banana was perfect. And it was the last of the four I bought. (The first three weren't ripe enough when I ate them. ) My timing was only off a little. I don't get another not quite so good banana tomorrow but at least I don't have to throw any banana away.

[Lordnine]

Hell is having a hour and 17 minute phone meeting with people you want to punch.

[LordMortis]

If it takes 1000 years for your typical plastic water bottle to decompose on its own, then how come they are only supposed to last 4 to 5 years before you should get rid of them? How quickly is my water becoming plastic water? Is there plastic in your water safety test?

It makes me wonder if I shouldn't be drinking my water out of the same McDonald's cup for the last 4 years, and the same Taco Bell cup for the 6 years before that.

Do you think plastic will make a good preservative? Short of the fact that it only lasts about a thousand years. Maybe between plastic and tar intake I could live forever.

[GreenGoo]

I drink from the same disposable water bottle every day. I just refill it each day, and bring it home and wash it occasionally. Probably killing me. *shrug*

[Unagi]

It's just gonna take your corpse 1000 years to decompose.

[dbt1949]

I hate raising kids.

[SpaceLord]

Aw, come on, he's gotta go out!

[Jaymon]

First of all, this is not my taco.
Second of all, I have already decided to kill you, so don't bother whining about it.

[Isgrimnur]

I've waited almost 40 minutes for someone to post something so I don't have to face the prospect of going to bed, which leads to getting up and going to work in the morning. I would have thought some European would be up and around by now...

[Remus West]

I wonder if plow drivers stay up at night wracked by guilt for all the driveways the barricade behind walls of snow when they plow a neighborhood. I hope they miss at least a little sleep.

[The Meal]

I wonder if plow drivers stay up at night wracked by guilt for all the driveways the barricade behind walls of snow when they plow a neighborhood. I hope they miss at least a little sleep.

They don't. In fact, generally they cheer if they send a (buried) mailbox a-flyin'.

[Isgrimnur]

Please, weather gods, snow enough that I can convince myself it's too much of a risk to go to work tomorrow.

[Kraken]

I was considered a weather god in high school because I could make it snow at will. I absolve you.

[Daehawk]

Snow plow runs over Mini Cooper

[dbt1949]

Our "snow plow" is a road grader that gets the steep incline part of the road a few days after a heavy snowfall. Sometimes a local yokel will get out his tractor and plow the snow but not too often.
It's so odd that people in town can't understand that we're stuck up here for awhile (2-7 days) after a snowfall. They're going about their business the next day.

[LordMortis]

I had the strangest dream about visiting a friend who was working as a cook at a fine dining restaurant in the basement of the east wing of a hospital. Only we were at the North East wing and to get to the East Wing and it was quicker to go outside. Given the slope into a valleylike area between the two wings, we (I don't know who I was walking with but I knew them well enough in my dream, I guess) thought we'd just glide/fly and avoid all the hassle of going down and then up again. But wind caught us right as we started to glide and we got caught going several miles upward. We came down hard. My other fellow managed to roll apon landing and barely hurt himself. My right let jammed the ground pretty hard, as if I wanted land in walking position. I collapsed and passed out. When I came to the other guy went for help. Fortunately we crashed at another hospital. I thought I would try to reorient my self and my dislocated hip and practically destroyed leg but in doing so I felt all of the blood rush out of a swelling leg and into my midsection and then I got stuck.

Which made me wake up wonder how often they have to replace tires on a jet. Even if most of the force is a forward motion. There's still a lot of downward force and it's happening at the same time tires, not rolling, suddenly have to be rolling at more than a hundred miles per hour.

You ever wonder exactly how broken your brain is?

I also wonder why I am remembering so many of my dreams lately.