Worst Titles Ever?

Kaigen · Post by **Kaigen** » Wed May 11, 2005 6:37 pm

I noticed a preview on Gamespot for a game called Beat Down: Fists of Vengeance and it got me thinking about the worst game titles I've ever heard.

Certainly the aforementioned Beat Down is a contender.

Bet on Soldier is just awful.

Divine Divinity is pretty bad.

What are some others?

JayG · Post by **JayG** » Wed May 11, 2005 6:45 pm

Arx Fatalis, Arcatera,Zax-The Alien Hunter, Gorasul Legacy of the Dragons, Anachronix, Grom, Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magick Obscura, KnightShift, Minions of Mirth and that Max something or other space monkey thingy. And that's just RPGs.

Vinda-Lou · Post by **Vinda-Lou** » Wed May 11, 2005 7:12 pm

"Star Wars"

Think about the two words as a phrase, not as the name of a universe. How generic!

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Wed May 11, 2005 7:25 pm

JayG wrote:Arx Fatalis, Arcatera,Zax-The Alien Hunter, Gorasul Legacy of the Dragons, Anachronix, Grom, Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magick Obscura, KnightShift, Minions of Mirth and that Max something or other space monkey thingy. And that's just RPGs.

Actually, I thought Arx Fatalis and Arcanum: etc. were great names.

I of the Dragon and Delta Force Extreme (

) hit my list of awful.

SlapBone · Post by **SlapBone** » Wed May 11, 2005 8:00 pm

In a slightly different train of thought, I saw that there was a movie on the Action channel last night called "Excessive Force II: Force on Force". I told my wife that you can be absolutely positive that a movie will suck if it uses the word "Force" 3 times in the title.

SlapBone · Post by **SlapBone** » Wed May 11, 2005 8:06 pm

The worse name I have seen (in a game) lately is similiar to "I of the Dragon" and that's "I of the Enemy" over at Matrix Games.

The only thing stupider than the name of the game is the company slogan:

"We have found the enemy, and he is us!"

I pulled that out of one of the developer's signatures on the Matrix boards.

This is by no means a critique of the game, just the name.

Giles Habibula · Post by **Giles Habibula** » Wed May 11, 2005 8:28 pm

"Space Bunnies Must Die!"

"Project IGI: I'm Going In"

The "Hard Truck" series....I always wondered just what was a 'hard truck'?

ChrisGrenard · Post by **ChrisGrenard** » Wed May 11, 2005 8:40 pm

Anything starting with "Extreme" or "Xtreme"

Zekester · Post by **Zekester** » Wed May 11, 2005 8:47 pm

IL2 Sturmovik Steam o' Crap, or whatever it's called

Mark · Post by **Mark** » Wed May 11, 2005 8:51 pm

I'm a little surprised no one has mentioned Panty Raider yet...

noun · Post by **noun** » Wed May 11, 2005 8:58 pm

Max Payne is a pretty stupid name. So's the name of Remedy's upcoming game, Alan Wake.

Suitably Ironic Moniker · Wed May 11, 2005 9:03 pm

"Space Bunnies Must Die!"

I'd play that game.

ChrisGwinn · Post by **ChrisGwinn** » Wed May 11, 2005 10:01 pm

I liked "Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magick Obscura" as a title.

"Divine Divinity" is a pretty crappy name. So is "Deathrow".

Jolor · Post by **Jolor** » Wed May 11, 2005 11:58 pm

Slightly off-topic, but I always wanted to play a character called 'Deathrow Bodine'.

Cyjon · Post by **Cyjon** » Thu May 12, 2005 1:34 am

When the first Settlers game was released in the US, rather than just calling it "The Settlers" they called it "Serf City: Life is Feudal" Gee, how clever

. They decorated the box with all these grinning cartoon characters. I saw it on the shelf and thought, "Oh, a kids game" and ignored it. It wasn't until I heard other people raving about it that I realized that there was actually a good game in that cheesy box.

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Thu May 12, 2005 1:38 am

Wargasm

Chalk up another vote for Divine Divinity as well.

Dhruin · Post by **Dhruin** » Thu May 12, 2005 1:57 am

Maximum XV Abraham Strong: Space Mercenary.

Hands down worst ever, although its alternative title of 'Space Hack' is right up there.

JayG · Post by **JayG** » Thu May 12, 2005 3:40 am

That's the Max game I was thinking off. I couldn't remember the title, so it shows how bad it is.

Kobra · Post by **Kobra** » Thu May 12, 2005 8:39 am

Trackmania Sunrise is a pretty cheesy name. Soldners is another pathetic name.

ChrisGwinn · Post by **ChrisGwinn** » Thu May 12, 2005 10:32 am

Jolor wrote:Slightly off-topic, but I always wanted to play a character called 'Deathrow Bodine'.

I keep being tempted by "Asshat McNasty" or, in Star Wars games, "Darth Nougat"

JonathanStrange · Post by **JonathanStrange** » Thu May 12, 2005 10:51 am

JayG wrote:That's the Max game I was thinking off. I couldn't remember the title, so it shows how bad it is.

Yes, perhaps that's the true definition of a bad title: so bad you can't even remember it.

BTW, a couple of titles mentioned here I didn't think were so bad as they were a little amusing or just unenlightening (esp. to the casual gamer or impulse purchaser) about the game's theme:

Arcanum Of Steamworks & Magick Obscura I liked the title but it's not an inviting "hey sailor" type of name. It's cool to me with its suggestion of steampunk and China Mieville and Perdido Street Station but it does scream "Niche game here!" which is true but perhaps not a good way to increase sales. My girlfriend (who's immune to the charms of gaming) commented disinterestedly "Obscure is right. Cool box illustration though."

Divine Divinity Made me smile because it was if a non-English speaker chose this meaningless alliterative title because it sounded like maybe it did. I'm not saying it's a good title but every now and then I tell my girlfriend she's a divine Dutch divinity.

Bearing in mind that for me truly bad titles disappear without a trace (to be fair, with my memory most everything vanishes) one of my candidates is (and I have no idea about the game's quality):

Dominion: Storm Over Gift 3

The title suggested that it was perhaps a sequel about maybe a family fight over a gift or maybe a weather-related game about an island or possibly a planet Gift 3 or who knows. I know I wasn't even tempted right now to go and look it up.

You all had some good points and I agree - some truly bad titles challenge you to buy them. Some are titles are so generic they bring nothing in particular to mind.

Then again they can grow on you. I remember ages ago a movie that I mildly enjoyed but thought had a nondescript name, one that may me think the writer couldn't be bothered to use his creative energy to change it and so decided to go with the working title: Romancing the Stone. Actually, now I like it.

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Thu May 12, 2005 3:30 pm

Kobra wrote:Trackmania Sunrise is a pretty cheesy name. Soldners is another pathetic name.

Oh god I forgot about Soldners, that's so stupid.

Kasey Chang · Post by **Kasey Chang** » Thu May 12, 2005 4:01 pm

Kobra wrote:Trackmania Sunrise is a pretty cheesy name. Soldners is another pathetic name.

No S at the end. Soldner.

It's German or something, I think. The game itself turned out to be pretty lousy.

Hostile Waters would be another one. The name suggest naval combat. The truth is it's an RTS that takes place on various islands. The American version is worse: Hostile Waters: Antaeus Rising. What the **** is Antaeus? We're NOT as wellversed in Greek Mythology as one may suspect!

The Meal · Post by **The Meal** » Thu May 12, 2005 4:07 pm

Hummer & Sickle?

~Neal

StormcloudCreations · Post by **StormcloudCreations** » Thu May 12, 2005 4:26 pm

Samurai wrote:Wargasm

Chalk up another vote for Divine Divinity as well.

Hey I liked "Wargasm"! Maybe that makes me odd...

I second Divine Divinity...I thought it was a typo when I first read about it.

Ralph-Wiggum · Post by **Ralph-Wiggum** » Thu May 12, 2005 4:30 pm

The Meal wrote:Hummer & Sickle?

~Neal

I think that's the best title ever.

Caine · Post by **Caine** » Thu May 12, 2005 4:53 pm

let me guess this one by the name. hummer & sickle: ex-kgb agent teams up with american rambo type who's fond of running people over in humvees.

that about right?

i thought the subtitle for the console game mercenaries was a little dumb: playground of destruction. makes it sound like a kiddie game in a way.

The Meal · Post by **The Meal** » Thu May 12, 2005 4:59 pm

Ralph-Wiggum wrote:
The Meal wrote:Hummer & Sickle?

~Neal
I think that's the best title ever.

What are two fun things I don't ever want to mix together?

~Neal

Pyperkub · Post by **Pyperkub** » Fri May 13, 2005 1:23 am

I think I have to *cringe* go with the most apt title ever:

Duke Nukem 4ever!

they should have just given it the title the Second Coming, to give us an idea of the timeframe.

Veloxi · Post by **Veloxi** » Fri May 13, 2005 1:43 am

I always was partial to "Meat Puppet" being a horrible title.

knob · Post by **knob** » Fri May 13, 2005 2:35 am

Max Payne
Divine Divinity
Giants: Citizen Kabuto
EverQuest - The title fits the game perfectly, except that starting out, it had very, very few quests in it. Maybe "EverWork" or "EverGrind". And could you get a geekier name?

hitbyambulance · Post by **hitbyambulance** » Fri May 13, 2005 4:01 am

maybe that title is just refering to a reallllly good soft white candy? i mean, REALLY good... a god food fit for the gods, say.

Intruder · Post by **Intruder** » Fri May 13, 2005 4:45 am

Kasey Chang wrote:
Kobra wrote:Trackmania Sunrise is a pretty cheesy name. Soldners is another pathetic name.

No S at the end. Soldner.

It's German or something, I think. The game itself turned out to be pretty lousy.
.../quote]

It's German and its name is "Söldner" = mercenary

The devs were warned that this title will suck everywhere outside Germany but they didn't care (actually the game sucks, too so it's fitting...).

Vinda-Lou · Post by **Vinda-Lou** » Fri May 13, 2005 8:11 am

Woodruff and the Schnibble

GamerDad · Post by **GamerDad** » Fri May 13, 2005 1:11 pm

SlapBone wrote:
"We have found the enemy, and he is us!"
I pulled that out of one of the developer's signatures on the Matrix boards.
This is by no means a critique of the game, just the name.

As a slogan, that's pretty bad. But as a quote, that's Walt Kelly dude! The quote's from Pogo, one of the best and most insightful comic strips ever.

razgon · Post by **razgon** » Fri May 13, 2005 1:51 pm

Again, not a critizism of the game, but..

Act of War - Direct Action ???

BloodBowl - hehe, I DONT want to think about what that really is...

Hypaball (I think this is the name...and old, very very fun sports game, about a 4-man team playing weigtless basketball, kinda)

SlapBone · Post by **SlapBone** » Fri May 13, 2005 4:30 pm

Again, to stray a bit, but still talking about titles.

If the first movie featuring John Rambo was First Blood and the second was Rambo: First Blood Part 2, shouldn't the third one have been Rambo II: First Blood Part 3 instead of Rambo III.

RWConspiracy · Post by **RWConspiracy** » Mon May 16, 2005 5:41 pm

Max Payne is a great name. It perfectly matches the over-the-top hard-boiled story Remedy was going for.

Here are some really bad names:

Hidden Stroke 2

FX Fighter
Hyperblade
Terminal Velocity
Cold Zero: No Mercy
Besieger

Veloxi · Post by **Veloxi** » Tue May 17, 2005 4:59 pm

Hey, new contender for this title. Just got it in a press release:

"Greg Hasting's Tournament Paintball MAX'D"

"MAX'D"?!?!?! WTFOMG!!

That's worse than "XTREME," at least that KIND OF makes sense...

Grifman · Post by **Grifman** » Tue May 17, 2005 8:20 pm

Dhruin wrote:Maximum XV Abraham Strong: Space Mercenary.

Hands down worst ever, although its alternative title of 'Space Hack' is right up there.

Yeah, and the game isn't much better than it's title. I'd also agree with Divine Divinity and Wargasm.