Octopus Overlords

Splinter Cell:Chaos Theory has been widely acclaimed as PC game of the year. And a consolification of the PC. Many of the reviews applaud the single-player portion yet largely ignore the online component. There are 2 online modes: co-op and versus. Versus is just deathmatch or capture-the-flag variant. Co-op is cooperative play.

Let’s examine the classical multiplayer interface for Quake 1, released in 1996. This was the first internet-capable action title. Start Quake 1. Pull down the console window by a single keypress. Type “connect” and the ip address. That’s it. Time taken: seconds.

Now for Chaos Theory. Insert disk (copy protected). Wait awhile for game menu. Click on “co-op” or “versus” mode. Wait for a second application to start. Then choose the ubi.com option, a proprietary online matching service. Establish a new user account on their network. Ok, enough of that. It’s time to quit the Chaos and start Quake.

10 years to redesign an easy-to-use interface into a splintering of different applications and chaos of menus. Where once the wheel was round, it now is square. Chaos theory indeed.

lorax, what are the odds that we'll see you respond to questions posed to you in this thread? Tareeq recently made an astute observation about your create-new-posts-for-discussion to reponse ratio. Do you merely enjoy seeing the responses of other people to your questions or do you wish to engage in a dialog?

On-topic, I, too, lament the menuing of todays games. And the verbiziation of nouns. And sentnce fragments. And mispellings. Nad typos.

~Neal

As futile as it probably is, I'll throw up a response.

In the days of Quake, you were dealing with a niche audience. Namely, folks who knew what an IP was, and also knew which IP they wanted to connect to. If you didn't know of a server, you were pretty much out of luck, because the game certainly wasn't helping you find one. By the way, you left out the steps where you had to type out the commands to start Quake from DOS. I'm pretty sure you just click an icon to start Splinter Cell.

As you mentioned, SC features a matchmaking service. Of course, that will tend to remove some of the ease of typing in an IP address, but in exchange, the game finds someone to play against. Also, once you've set up your account, you don't need to again.

You know, after typing all that, I'm not sure why I did. Seems pretty obvious to me.

Next up: How Mouseaim Will Destroy the Industry.

Gee, lorax, your job looks like fun. Can I try, too?

Ahem ...

Windows XP has been widely acclaimed as an improvement on MS-DOS. But let's examine the classical interface for MS-DOS, released in 1981. To move a file, you would enter "move filename1 filename2". That's it. Time taken: seconds.

Now for WinXP. Grab the mouse. Find your little arrow on the screen. Move the arrow to the first folder. Press the left mouse button, then release it, then press it again and release it again. Do this quickly, or you might have to start over. Now adjust the arrow again until it is above the file you want to move. Press the left mouse button and hold it down. Don't let go, or you'll have to start over again. While simultaneously holding the left mouse button, move the arrow until it is over the target folder. You remembered to open a window containing the target folder, right? No? Ok, enough of that. Start>Run>cmd.exe.

24 years to redesign an easy-to-use black screen into a splintering of different windows and chaos of menus. Where once the wheel was round, it now is square. Where do you want to go today indeed.

Is the word 'pithy' now defunct?

I refuse to participate until I get my long-promised pickle.

Hamsterball_Z wrote:

Post of the week, and it's only Monday.

And the verbiziation of nouns.

Verbing weirds words.

Peacedog wrote:

And the verbiziation of nouns.

Verbing weirds words.

They're doing what to noun? Is noun aware of this? Does his wife approve?

Chaz wrote:<snip> ...By the way, you left out the steps where you had to type out the commands to start Quake from DOS. I'm pretty sure you just click an icon to start Splinter Cell.

Winquake.

Chaz wrote:As you mentioned, SC features a matchmaking service. Of course, that will tend to remove some of the ease of typing in an IP address, but in exchange, the game finds someone to play against...

Unreal Tournament 2004 has an easy-to-use matchmaking service. This contrasts with numerous menu layers and many button clicks. Not needed.

The Meal wrote:...Tareeq recently made an astute observation about your create-new-posts-for-discussion to reponse ratio.

The observation was astutely false.

1. The Meal wrote:lorax, what are the odds that we'll see you respond to questions posed to you in this thread?

2. Jeff V wrote:I refuse to participate until I get my long-promised pickle.

3. Hamsterball_Z wrote:

Done, done & pickled.

CeeKay wrote:Is the word 'pithy' now defunct?

Pithily said: Not defunct!

lorax wrote:Splinter Cell:Chaos Theory has been widely acclaimed as PC game of the year.

It has? It's fucking May.

Actually, if you had around 3/4 of a brain, you could easily find the exe for the Vs. mode in SCCT. Makes it so you don't need the CD in the drive and it takes all of about 3 seconds to start up.

Edit: Oo, lookit dat!

lorax wrote:

The Meal wrote:...Tareeq recently made an astute observation about your create-new-posts-for-discussion to reponse ratio.

The observation was astutely false.

The observation was astute, but it was not false. It was:

Tareeq wrote:lorax, out of 42 posts in your history on this forum, exactly 2 were in threads you did not originate.

That was true then. It is true now, except that the percentage is even more skewed toward posting on your own soapbox. Meal's observation is true as well, unless you answer the questions under another user name.

That can't be true, lorax, because you're not an alt.

I'm not an official scorekeeper or anything, but I think Chris and Tareeq just won the thread.

But they lost at love.

Dear lorax,

Tareeq wrote:

lorax wrote:

The Meal wrote:...Tareeq recently made an astute observation about your create-new-posts-for-discussion to reponse ratio.

The observation was astutely false.

The observation was astute, but it was not false.

#1. The observation was false. Actually, you miscounted numerous replies as “creation of new posts for discussion”.

While you are busy counting posts by forum members. Consider counting your posts which are off-topic. Starting with the above. Back in the virtual world of gaming discussion...

ChrisGrenard wrote:...you could easily find the exe for the Vs. mode in SCCT. Makes it so you don't need the CD in the drive and it takes all of about 3 seconds to start up.

#2. This observation was also false. The versus and co-op modes are two separate multiplayer features. This is confusion between the modes: versus and co-op.

#3. And yet another false observation: "A pickle is a gherkin". When a pickle is not a gherkin at all.

lorax wrote: #1. The observation was false. Actually, you miscounted numerous replies as “creation of new posts for discussion”.

Reading Is Fundamental.

Again, I stated that

lorax, out of 42 posts in your history on this forum, exactly 2 were in threads you did not originate.

Where did I say anything about "creation of new posts for discussion"?

If you read between the lines, I accused you of being a solipsist, who views the remainder of the forum as a sounding board or mirror for his own thoughts.

You are proving me correct.

While you are busy counting posts by forum members. Consider counting your posts which are off-topic. Starting with the above.

Starting with the above? Virtually all of them. Tell me or anyone else who frequents the board something we don't know.

lorax wrote:Let’s examine the classical multiplayer interface for Quake 1, released in 1996. This was the first internet-capable action title. Start Quake 1. Pull down the console window by a single keypress. Type “connect” and the ip address. That’s it. Time taken: seconds.

except that you're forgetting about the time it took to actually find the IP address for a server, connect, realize your ping to that server made it unplayable, look up another IP address, and repeat the whole process. the default connection method for Quake was far from ideal.

fortunately, some talented programmers created QuakeSpy...a program that scanned for Quake servers, gathered player count and map info, pinged them all, and provided an easy point-and-click interface for selecting and connecting to a good server. it required opening the QuakeSpy program and the process of scanning for servers sometimes took a few minutes, however, so it wasn't as "quick" as using the console...but it made finding a good server a whole lot easier.

the end result of QuakeSpy's popularity? serious Quake players wound up using a separate utility to locate and join servers more easily...a function that is now integrated into games like SC:CT and has become considerably more user-friendly. i would say having all those functions included by default now is pretty handy...

ChrisGrenard wrote:...you could easily find the exe for the Vs. mode in SCCT. Makes it so you don't need the CD in the drive and it takes all of about 3 seconds to start up.

#2. This observation was also false. The versus and co-op modes are two separate multiplayer features. This is confusion between the modes: versus and co-op.[/quote]

No, I didn't forget about co-op. I just assumed you were too unpleasant of a human to actually get somebody to play co-op with you. Thus the assumption that you were more of a versus mode player.

Actually, now that I think about it, perhaps it is a good thing that this game is too hard for lorax to use... I'd hate to have to run into him when I was playing. Imagine the conversations!

goldfenix: "Everybody ready?"
Sharkfood_911: "Ready up all"
Anonyperson: "I'm good."
Lorax: "This interface is astutely defunct."

ChrisGrenard wrote:...Thus the assumption that you were more of a versus mode player.

Actually, now that I think about it, perhaps it is a good thing that this game is too hard for lorax to use... I'd hate to have to run into him when I was playing.

Fair enough. What if I handicap my skills by using a flight joystick? Then will you play?