Turtle Soup: The Meal fit for a Gamer

lorax · Post by **lorax** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 5:02 pm

Why is turtle soup a favorite delicacy for the collective gamer hive (otherwise known as the Octopuses)? Before we answer this question, let us travel to a distant time and place before the arrival of the newfangled LCD monitors. With its substandard contrast ratios and motion blurring. Yes, a long time ago.

This was a time of the “Dominance of the CRT” monitor. When gamers the world over could master the latest action game as projected by the “cathode-ray tube” technology. Do you realize that the contrast ratio of a typical CRT is over 3000:1? Did you know this?

While a LCD monitor is considered king-of-the-heap with contrast ratios around 1000:1. Same with plasma screen technology. Once again, one more myth debunked and the Octopuses decry certain facts in favor of a carefully constructed world of myths.

Are there any other examples? Certainly. Let’s travel back a bit further in time – to a world long past familiar. Try speeds of RAM. Octopuses have clamored about their favorite RAM speed being so much faster. Is this even true?

Once more, a myth held to the light withers away into nothingness. Here is a quote from dansdata.com: “Intel marketroids made proud noises about the system performance increase that'd spring from the step from the 66MHz Front Side Bus (and RAM) speed to 100MHz, and from 100 to 133, but the benchmarks didn't show any big improvement for desktop computer tasks.” The separation of myths from truths and marketing jargon for clear and sound knowledge.

The last myth, and believe me we almost are at the number eight, that is, eight myths to match the number of Octopus tentacles. It’s about 64-bit. Is there an Octopus who doesn’t proudly proclaim the 64-bit as pinnacle of gaming bliss? Probably not, but 64-bit is still not prime-time for gaming. But there is hope for the roaming cephalopods from cnet.com (review of 64-bit Windows): “Compatibility issues far outweigh any potential speed boosts, making it an inadvisable upgrade for all but the most die-hard hobbyists.”

Yes – the Octopus hobbyist. LCDs, RAM speeds, and 64-Bits. These words contain more than letters and ideas. They contain big profits for companies. And who pays for these big profits? Let’s travel to this world. A watery world that exists between time and space; a world where the mythical creatures are green and the smell odorous. Welcome to the world of Turtle soup.

ChrisGrenard · Post by **ChrisGrenard** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 5:03 pm

TheMix · Post by **TheMix** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 5:05 pm

Isn't this the same old post/arguement, just presented differently?

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 5:13 pm

Wait, I'm confused. Is The Meal fit to be a gamer or not?

The Preacher · Post by **The Preacher** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 5:42 pm

The trolls are getting weaker.

moomoocow42 · Post by **moomoocow42** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 5:49 pm

What strikes me as funny is that it takes all of 30 seconds for me to write this response and poke fun at a troll, while it probably took lorax all of thirty minutes to an hour to write such a irreverant post. Then again, my time is probably more valuable.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 5:57 pm

Take an argument like CRT vs. LCD and apply it to something completely unrelated and non-parallel like RAM bus speeds. Throw in emerging and not yet mainstream CPU architechture and season with miscellaneous quotes. Add to rehased broth of tired old vagaries left over from last recipe. Serve in a post, garnish with an incredulous defense.

ChrisGwinn · Post by **ChrisGwinn** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 6:07 pm

moomoocow42 wrote:What strikes me as funny is that it takes all of 30 seconds for me to write this response and poke fun at a troll, while it probably took lorax all of thirty minutes to an hour to write such a irreverant post. Then again, my time is probably more valuable.

You could write a program to write his posts.

Clanwolfer · Post by **Clanwolfer** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 11:39 pm

ChrisGwinn wrote:
moomoocow42 wrote:What strikes me as funny is that it takes all of 30 seconds for me to write this response and poke fun at a troll, while it probably took lorax all of thirty minutes to an hour to write such a irreverant post. Then again, my time is probably more valuable.
You could write a program to write his posts.

Yes, but is it art?

Peacedog · Post by **Peacedog** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 8:21 am

The trolls are getting weaker.

And Leon's getting laaaarger.

baron calamity · Post by **baron calamity** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 8:23 am

Peacedog wrote:
The trolls are getting weaker.
And Leon's getting laaaarger.

Looks like I pick the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Bad Demographic · Post by **Bad Demographic** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 9:55 am

baron calamity wrote:
Peacedog wrote:
The trolls are getting weaker.
And Leon's getting laaaarger.
Looks like I pick the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Don't bogart that bag, baron.

Turtle · Post by **Turtle** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 8:20 pm

I resent being turned into soup.

Hrothgar · Post by **Hrothgar** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 11:31 pm

Turtle wrote:I resent being turned into soup.

Ah, perhaps you are turning into SOUP.

Would you know?

Don't worry, we still love ya.

Turtle · Post by **Turtle** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 2:34 am

If I were turning into soup, would you eat me? Perhaps that is the trickier question.

ChrisGrenard · Post by **ChrisGrenard** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 2:39 am

I would, at very least, listen to your poetry.

The Meal · Post by **The Meal** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:58 am

Turtle wrote:I resent being turned into soup.

I resent the implication that not all The Meal's are fit to be gamers.

~Neal

Bad Demographic · Post by **Bad Demographic** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 9:17 am

The Meal wrote:
Turtle wrote:I resent being turned into soup.
I resent the implication that not all The Meal's are fit to be gamers.

~Neal

There's more than one of you?

Lee · Post by **Lee** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 11:35 am

The Meal wrote:
Turtle wrote:I resent being turned into soup.
I resent the implication that not all The Meal's are fit to be gamers.

~Neal

81=your best looking number yet. I expect them to get prettier and prettier by the time you get to 1.

The Meal · Post by **The Meal** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 12:30 pm

Lee wrote:
The Meal wrote:
Turtle wrote:I resent being turned into soup.
I resent the implication that not all The Meal's are fit to be gamers.
81=your best looking number yet. I expect them to get prettier and prettier by the time you get to 1.

That's funny considering that after every one I do, I think it looks uglier than the one previous. The garish colors have become my staple.

Ah, well, it's a fun way to spend 90 seconds on the weekday mornings. (Notice that I don't bother to update on the weekends, when I'm logging in from home on my own time.)

Thanks for the kind words (even if I disagree),
~Neal

setaside · Post by **setaside** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 1:03 pm

Peacedog wrote:
The trolls are getting weaker.
And Leon's getting laaaarger.

Funniest thing I've read all day. Thanks, PD.

The Meal · Post by **The Meal** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 11:43 pm

The Meal wrote:Ah, well, it's a fun way to spend 90 seconds on the weekday mornings.

Well, I went against my statement here and spent about 300 seconds on 80 tonight, which I'll upload in the morning.

~Neal

CeeKay · Post by **CeeKay** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 11:49 pm

Turtle wrote:If I were turning into soup, would you eat me? Perhaps that is the trickier question.

depends, would you go good with crackers, or would you be a thicker, more stew like soup?

Turtle · Post by **Turtle** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 12:09 am

I suppose I would be a bit more like jambalaya or a thick curry.

ChrisGrenard · Post by **ChrisGrenard** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 12:10 am

mmmmm primodial...

driver · Post by **driver** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 8:08 am

The Meal wrote:
The Meal wrote:Ah, well, it's a fun way to spend 90 seconds on the weekday mornings.
Well, I went against my statement here and spent about 300 seconds on 80 tonight, which I'll upload in the morning.

~Neal

Yeah, Neal, those avatars/icons are great.