Octopus Overlords

In this series, you get to post a response to the person above in the theme of a graphic adventure.

I'll start with a description. The next post will be an action, then the post after will be the response to that action.
THERE SHOULD BE NO "Unrecognized command" responses!

You wake up. Its dark. Your head feels like its been run over by a mile long freight train. You hear water dripping nearby. You start to stand and notice that you are in a tube, and there is water at the bottom. You're wet, hurt, and cranky.
Command?

> SLAP SELF

You slap yourself in the face...OUCH that hurt.
Command?

USE TOILET

You don't see a toilet here. You relieve yourself in the water at the bottom of the tube. Your feet feel slightly warmer.
Command?

SLAP SELF

You slap yourself again. Your face is now glowing bright red. You can see, laying in the water, a plastic box. The box is locked.

Command?

> i

You are carrying:
A sword
A Purple People Eater
A Q-Tip
A piece of a map
A Note
An Eniac computer
A Book
A bag containing:
-- 1 Light Bulb
A Wallet containing:
-- An ID Card
-- $40 Australian Dollars
-- $20 Canadian Dollars
-- $-37 US Dollars
-- A photograph

SLAP PURPLE PEOPLE EATER

You are not holding PURPLE PEOPLE EATER.

Command?

Take a nice swim through water in tube.

You swim blindly into a Grue's nest and are devoured. Score 1/500. Would you like to (Q)uit, (R)estore, or (S)tart over? >

>Undo

You go back to the beginning. It is very dark, and then there is a bang...

> light lamp

***Large Cavern ***

The flickering glow of your lantern reveals that you are in a large cavern. The ceiling of the cavern rises high above your head. It almost makes you dizzy looking at its height. Around you at your feet are small glittering jewels. A small creature is also at your feet, looking up at you with large eyes that contain very small but very black pupils.

Tunnels lead away from the cavern to the northwest and southeast.
Command?

You ignite the toxic gas filling these chambers. Your eyebrows have been burned off, and your clothes are smouldering.
Command?

>get creature

The creature wraps its tentacles tightly around your neck, pressing its slimey underside into your face, and injects a foul tasting liquid down your throat.

Command?

>Light the creature on fire with lantern.

There is a blinding flash as the creature self-immolates. Your very red face is now covered with numerous blisters and is painful to the touch, but you are otherwise alive.

On the ground is a scrap of purple fur.

> Steal the jewels

On picking up the glittering jewels, you start hearing the X-Files theme. It's originating from the locked plastic box. You also hear approaching footsteps from the northwest tunnel.

Command ?

>RUN SOUTHEAST

you are in a tube, and there is water at the bottom. You see a rusty ladder leading up in the middle of the tube to a grate of some sort. Something metallic, possibly a sword, can be dimly seen lying in the water. There is an iron lever sticking out of the wall. The lever is up.

>grab the sword then push the lever

You take the gleaming broadsword out of the water. It feels warm in your hand. That may just be more urine.

You push the lever. There is a deep rumbling that you feel but do not really hear.

>examine grate

Grate: The grate is at the top of the ladder. It appears to be made of steel. It is held to the side of the tube by large bolts that are visible on the other side of the grate. Also visible on the other side of the grate is a passage that appears to lead off to the northwest. There is a trapdoor in the grate that allows passage up the ladder. The trapdoor is closed and secured by a rusty padlock.

You grab the padlock to test its strength. You are disturbed to find that it is merely a small "mimic" that upon realizing you are to large to devour, pisses all over you in an attempt to flee.

>Climb back down the ladder and look toward where footsteps were heard.

Tube: You climb down into the water. There is a small mimic floating at your feet. The air is thick with the scent of urine.

You look northwest. You see LARGE CAVERN.

>NW

You are in a LARGE CAVERN. You note a rank odor emenating from the North. On the ground lays what looks like a glass bottle with the label "Soul Glo" on it.
Exits: North, Southwest

Atheist wrote:You are in a LARGE CAVERN. You note a rank odor emenating from the North. On the ground lays what looks like a glass bottle with the label "Soul Glo" on it.
Exits: North, Southwest

say "plugh"

Your voice echoes in the cavern, "plugh...plugh..plugh..."

>L

You are in a LARGE CAVERN. You note a rank odor emenating from the North. On the ground lays what looks like a glass bottle with the label "Soul Glo" on it.
Exits: North, Southwest